Monthly Archives: April 2013

Discharged / Perspective

Barring any unforseen complications, I am scheduled to be discharged from the hospital Saturday. According to my doctor I am making excellent progress, even better than hoped. This is a good reference point since my body is very sore and weak from the transplant. Isn’t that often the case…when we look at our lives from an external perspective we often are much better off than we may think!

Maintaining a proper perspective has been a life lesson that has guided me well in life and business. I often need help from God’s Word and friends to maintain it. Perspective keeps us from over-reacting, from dwelling too much on pain and suffering, and from anxiety. Perspective brings peace where there is chaos. It brings hope in seemingly hopeless situations. It teaches us to never give up on love and to cultivate an attitude of gratitude in our heart. Perspective gives us courage to take another step and stay the course in stormy seas. It brings light to a dark world.

Four and a half months after my diagnosis of Leukemia, God’s perspective allows me to actually thank Him for the disease that brought me closer to Him, closer to my wife, and that has taught me things (I am still learning!) that I could not have learned elsewhere.

We are quite humbled by the literally hundreds and hundreds of people from all over the world who continue to pray for Marcia and me, for my 19 year old donor, and for my hospital care teams. These prayers have released God’s power for healing in our lives, and have opened the door to a number of friendships, some for a season, and others for longer. We are eternally grateful for all of you who who have prayed, who have visited and stayed in touch to encourage us, and who have used this situation to Go Light Your World.

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Psalm 103:1

Courage

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A framed print is displayed on my unit, with these words inscribed by the artist: “Courage to ALL who walk these halls.” I’m guessing he was a former patient who knew the struggle of pushing forward through the pain. Maybe he was a friend or the relative of one. Caregivers have to demonstrate such amazing courage. The fiancé of one young patient is caring for him and four children, while managing a new start-up business, and planning for the rest of their lives. That takes courage.

Since he emphasized ‘all’ I think the artist is a wise man who recognizes that there are days (maybe everyday) when it takes courage just to show up at work, whether you work as a food deliverer, nurses aide, doctor, nurse, housekeeper, or volunteer. Courage is helping others while you hurt. Courage is taking another bite when you’re nauseous or anorexic. Courage is engaging in therapeutic exercise when it hurts. Courage is in making choices that honor God when other choices seem more fun. Courage is being true to self when others lead you astray. Sometimes, courage is remaining silent before those who accuse you, or shouting out to defend someone who is bullied or maligned. Courage is found in doing the mundane tasks of life while you wait on God for His answer to your prayer.

All my life, I have asked God for three things: wisdom, strength, and courage. Wisdom to know where to go and what to do, strength to accomplish the task, and courage to step forward. Our God is faithful to grant what He has commanded.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you.” Joshua 1:9

I Went Against My Religion

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Confession is good for the soul. I have resisted this particular temptation for 15-20 years or more. I’ve especially fought hard against it during my three rounds of chemotherapy. I’ve recalled the true promise in 1 Corinthinans 10:13 which says: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

I’ve recited to myself over and over how God designed the body to behave in only a certain way, and violation of this is sure to bring discomfort and pain. But in a moment of weakness. . .

I threw up.

When nurses ask, “Have you thrown up today?” I respond, “No, it’s against my ‘religion.'” When they inquire further I tell them, “God designed the body for food to go in one end and out the other. I just want to honor Him.” This usually results in a chuckle or two. Of course, those who know me realize the funny thing is, I don’t believe much in ‘religion.’

According to wipipedia, “Religion is an organized collection of belief systems, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to spirituality and, sometimes, to moral values.” As a follower of Christ, I believe in the one true loving God who invites us to a personal relationship with Him. When I remain in this relationship, God lets me see the world through His eyes. The fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control) are available to those who remain in Him. As is strength to see suffering as ‘light and momentary,’ perseverence in the midst of struggles, and hope in seemingly hopeless situations.

Remaining in Christ is a decision we make hundreds of times a day. It is decided by what we choose to think about, what we do, how we respond to others, how we view the world around us. I think about the grapes that grow in my backyard. They don’t work and they don’t (as far as I know) develop “an organized collection of belief systems.” They just remain in the vine… and produce good fruit. My experience is that when it comes to the hopelessness of trying to keep a long list of do’s and don’ts, ‘purging’ can be a good thing.

And on an upbeat note, my blood counts are starting to increase and I am generally feeling better than yesterday. My goal is to get off the pain meds and to prove I can swallow real food on Thursday.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

Attending To Pain

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“Pain insists on being attended to.” (CS Lewis) Sometimes there is a fine line between giving attention to our pain and dwelling on it. Then again, there are some ‘seasons’ of pain when pain is so great that it cannot be escaped.

The last few days have been like that. Between painful swallowing, lower GI tract problems, fevers, and unresolved headaches (I know, I just had written how they had decreased!), it has been hard to focus on much else. Having received my last dose of chemo yesterday, I hope to be on the upswing soon. In the meantime, they put me on a Dilaudid IV drip (morphine’s stronger cousin). The problem with with some of our ‘treatments’ is that sometimes they create more problems, in this case extreme fatigue and sleepiness, nausea, and constant itching. So I’ve notched that dose down to balance a little relief with more ability to concentrate and less side effects. (I’m glad I had a number of posts written and scheduled in advance for this very purpose.)

It’s hard to choose a positive path in the midst of intense struggles, whether they be physical, financial, relational, or spiritual. But we need to decide whether we serve a GREAT God or not, and ask Him for His strength to respond accordingly.

The human brain cannot focus instantly on two opposites at the same time. It cannot dwell on the anxiety of pain and also, at the same time, focus on praising God for His goodness. The body may remain in pain, but the disciplined mind can choose how it will focus its attention…a lesson I am still learning.

“If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we’re in this with Christ for the long haul.” Hebrews 3:14 (The Message)

The Price Of Worry

“We’ll Cross That Bridge When We Come To It”

Offending with the spiritual gifts?

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Go Light Your World subscriber Emily, asked a great question about how someone might be offended by the use of spiritual Gifts of the Holy Spirit.

The first believers were given spiritual gifts by the Holy Spirit for the edification of each other and the church. (See below scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:4-11.) There is disagreement amongst some churches and believers whether all the gifts of the Holy Spirit remain in force today, or whether some have passed away, notably the ‘sign’ or miracle gifts of healing, performing other miracles, prophesying, and speaking in tongues and interpreting tongues. Not unlike the polar differences which sometimes separate people of various political views, there are some in one camp who may question the integrity of those in the other camp due to these differences of beliefs. And from such an attitude may come the offense that Emily read about in a camp policy.

Ironically, the gifts were meant to be used to build each other up not tear each other down. And in the chapters that follow, LOVE is held as superior to these ‘lesser’ gifts. (see 1 Corinthians 13-14) Paul says that to have all these other gifts without love is to have nothing at all.

I believe in the bigness of a God who is quite able and willing to express His love for mankind by whatever means and through whatever people He chooses. An excerpt from John Piper’s discussion of the matter makes sense to me: “The greatest miracle is that our hearts begin to care more about the lostness and pain of others than about our own personal comforts and leisure plans. When that miracle happens, we might be in a position to experience the lesser gifts of healings…Set your hearts to desire love.” For a more in depth look into the subject see Piper’s article at:
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/gifts-of-healings-and-workings-of-miracles

1 Corinthians 12:4-11
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

Kids View: How To Get To Heaven

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Subject: How Can I Get Into Heaven (from a recent email)

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven, I asked them, ‘If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?’ ‘NO!’ the children answered.

‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?’ Again, the answer was, ‘NO!’ By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

‘Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?’ I asked them again. Again, they all answered, ‘NO!’

I was just bursting with pride for them. ‘Well,’ I continued, ‘then how
can I get into Heaven?’

A five-year-old boy shouted out, ‘YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!’

Here’s to living each well and trusting Jesus “until you gotta be dead.” – Bryan

Self Control

Rough Sailing

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I love this painting by Danny Hahlbohm. It conveys Jesus helping a sailor get to safe harbor in the midst of a storm. It reminds me that:

Sometimes Jesus calms the storm; sometimes He calms the sailor.

My brother-in-law, Bruce Ray, is competent sailor and would probably tell me that when your sails are down you are at the mercy of the waves. That’s where we are. The storm still rages, our sails are mostly down, and yet our boat is still in the water being propelled to safe harbor by God’s gentle hand.

To us, this has been a practical demonstration of God’s power and grace. He has allowed me to complete a walking ‘marathon’ (26 miles) since being admitted, even with chemo burned feet. He has given me a good appetite despite upset GI tract and heartburn. Having experienced daily headaches all my adult life, I’ve had only four since my diagnosis. Even though my immune system is dead and I’m waiting for my donor’s immune system to kick in, I remain healthy, alert, with more energy than should be expected, and a reminder to always live “on mission.” All this speaks to how practical and true God’s Word is for every situation. Sometimes, the storm continues but the sailor is calmed.

Here’s a shout of thanks to the anonymous donors who made possible my transfusions of blood yesterday and platelets today!

“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Matthew 28:18-20

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