Monthly Archives: October 2013

Not finished yet

Leave a reply

Have you ever felt like you’ve reached a dead-end on the path you felt called to follow? Like you started this journey with God, but now you’re looking around trying to figure out his plan for your next steps? You know he has a purpose for you but just now, it seems like it’s been side-lined?

God is never rushed. And even when it seems he is silent, he is actively working out his plan. Sometimes this involves orchestrating circumstances that must come together. Sometimes it involves other people who have not yet submitted their will to him or to the situation. Almost always it seems, he is waiting for our hearts to yield more fully to his, for us to listen for and respond to his voice.

God promises, “I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with loving kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3) This is not the voice of one who calls you down a path only to abandon you! “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6) I think about how he purposefully sought each of us out before we were seeking him. He sought us, he found us, he began a work that he will complete in us, as we wait in faith, trusting him to complete his work.

Rest in the satisfaction of knowing you have not been abandoned; you are not alone. The rest of the plan may be different than you expected, and it may take longer than you wanted to work it out. But God’s plan is a good plan. Don’t fret about the timing.
Instead, rest and enjoy his presence as you wait faithfully.

The legacy of our character

Leave a reply

Eric Liddle was the world record breaking Scottish athlete who won the 400 meter race in the 1924 Summer Olympics, as celebrated in the famous movie, Chariots of Fire. But unlike so many egotistical celebrity athletes of our time, Liddle was known for being, “Ridiculously humble in victory, utterly generous in defeat.” A missionary to China as well as world renown athlete, Liddle is remembered for his gentle spirit and “complete surrender”, in reference to how he had given his life to his God.

Thinking about characteristics, I remember being ever so smart in the eyes of my young children and then becoming ‘dumb as rocks’ when they grew to be teenagers. I’m glad to say that later, as they grew up, I became wise again. 🙂 Of course, those changing views were likely as much due to the changing perspectives of my children as any significant changes I had made personally. 🙂

What characteristics or attributes are you best known for? Which of these will be the legacy you leave for those who follow? The answer may relate to what you do, but most certainly, your lasting legacy will be based more on who you are. It will be a reflection of your relationship with God and with others. It will reflect qualities like:
Faithfulness
Kindness
Goodness
Generosity
Gentleness
Humility
Enduring hope
Joyfulness
Perseverance
Peace
Patience
Caring
Integrity
Self control
Unconditional love that never gives up

None of us hit the mark all the time. But over time, we are known for our inner qualities, these special God-given gifts that he nurtures and matures over time. Today is the day to decide what lasting legacy we will leave. Today is the day to decide how we want to present ourself to our loving and eternal heavenly father. In everything you do, live a life of character that builds ups and honors God and those around you.

“Well done good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:23

God’s character

Leave a reply

What words and images come to mind when you think about God?

Some people imagine an old guy with flowing robe and long beard. Some imagine a strict ever-demanding father type while others know a personal loving God whose lap they can climb into. Some can’t identify any vision of God because he seems so distant and uncaring to them.

It seems we have a tendency to try to put God in a box. We say he is a God of love, which is so true, but we neglect to recognize that he is also a just and holy God. Where would I stand under an all-powerful and just God? Could I even stand at all? I know some people who have said they were going to give God a piece of their mind when they get to heaven. I wonder if I will be completely speechless and fall to my knees when I first meet my Savior on the other side!

As we climb the mountain of God we come to understand that his complex character speaks to our complex lives. A simple God will not do. Our great God is:
Eternal – he always been and will always be God
Holy – he is perfectly pure
Unchanging – the same yesterday, today, tomorrow
All powerful – only that which he allows prevails
Ever present – always accessible to you
All knowing – perfect in knowledge and wisdom, past and future
Love – the essence of his relationship with his creation
Just – justice accompanies holiness
Merciful – he extends such amazing grace to us
Sovereign – he is in control even when we think he is not
Faithful – he keeps all his promises
Patient – he continually waits for us to turn to him
True – his light overcomes darkness because it is always true

For sure, he is all of these and more! But which of these attributes and characteristics of God speak most dearly to your heart in this season of your life? You can turn this experience back into praise by thanking God for who he is. Increasingly, I find myself more thankful for his great mercy and for his amazing grace in the middle of difficult trials. His faithfulness gives me such hope and cause for more thanks.

Our great God cannot be limited by our lack of comprehension or by our inattentiveness. He does not change simply because we cannot or will not come to grasp the fullness of his character. We need and we have a great big God. And in him we find our purpose, our passion, and our hope.

“My God is a great, big God
My Lord is a mighty Lord
My King is an awesome King
He’s my help in the time of need.”
– Sion Alford, My God

Do these steroids make me look fat?

2 Replies

The new meds have completely reversed my lack of appetite and removed my Failure To Thrive diagnosis caused by the GVHD. And I’m glad to have gained back ten pounds already, with only another 10-15 needed to return to my ideal weight. Additionally, this past week I set a new post-transplant endurance record by hiking a mountain nature trail in La Crosse over two miles and up an elevation climb of 640 feet! (Followed by a nap!) And another mile hike up and down 190 steps at Iowa’s Pike’s Peak State Park. (Thanks God!)

But I’m not referencing the weight gain or endurance with the ‘fat’ comment. I’m talking about being responsive to God’s call on our life and about discovering his very best for us when we walk through difficult paths. In this case, “FAT” means being:
Faithful
Available
Teachable

In order to prosper from God’s protection and provision for us we need to be faithful to live within the agreement of his love covenant with us. We can’t maintain faith in two masters and expect to receive blessing from both.

In order to experience his plan for us, we need to be available. Imagine saying to someone you love, “I will always be there for you,” but never making yourself available to them. Your words convey one thing and your actions another. We are known by our actions.

In order to gain understanding and wisdom, and to grow in his plan, we need to be teachable. We cannot say, “Teach me your ways,” and then refuse to listen or obey the master’s counsel.

With regard to our physical body, let’s be good stewards and be lean. With regard to our spiritual being, let’s be FAT: faithful, available, and teachable. Being “FAT” is essential to loving God, growing in his truth and grace, and serving others. Eat fully of the Lord’s provision.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8

Peacemakers are teachable and moldable

1 Reply

Years ago, iconic former speaker of the house, Sam Rayburn, made an astute observation (paraphrased): “(Anyone) can kick over a barn door. It takes a carpenter to build one.”

What truth that offers for us today. Anyone can rail against something or someone, ridicule them, and point out every negative aspect of another position. But it takes a peacemaker, a skilled craftsman, to build something positive and lasting. I don’t know if Rayburn considered the double entendre of his use of the word carpenter. Jesus, of course, grew up as a skilled carpenter. And he is still crafting and sculpting his followers with his creative and purposeful skills. In fact, he gave us his own Spirit to live in us to guide us, convict us, comfort us, and intercede for us.

The question is, are we willing participants in this process? Or are we resistive materials in his hands? Do we tend to, like wayward and stubborn sheep, go our own way or do we listen to and follow our master’s voice? The bible describes us like clay in the potters hand. Are we moldable and able to be shaped according to his purpose, or do we have our ambitions set on being a certain type of vessel, quite apart from his design?

The many versions of the Christian prayer attributed to 13th century Saint Francis of Assisi speak to this. Some versions mention being an instrument of God’s peace; others a vessel:

“Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, the truth;
Where there is doubt, the faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.”

Being an instrument or vessel that conveys God’s peace requires the surrender of our lesser ambitions and desires for God’s greater will. It requires attuning our mind and heart to his loving voice, and to being an eager disciple of his teaching. And in doing so, to let his light actively shine into the lives of others. Choose today to be a vessel of God’s peace and truth, his unending love and amazing grace. Let the master carpenter mold you into his likeness so you can carry his peace to others.

“As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right.” 1 Samuel 12:23

Are you an obstructionist or a peacemaker?

Leave a reply

An obstructionist is one who so steeped in their convictions they methodically cause problems for others who want to accomplish their objectives. There is no negotiation, little if any understanding, but much confrontation. Unlike the cartoon, I don’t think we aspire to become obstructionists, but high levels of frustration lead us to such destructive behaviors instead of pursuing our call to be peacemakers.

We quickly associate obstructionism with the political process. But it easily finds itself in the work environment and personal relationships where what someone is against speaks louder than what they are for. Lines are drawn sometimes arbitrarily in the sand; walls are built. Obstructionist behaviors take the form of discrediting, ridiculing, and dishonest passive aggressive manipulative efforts. Behaviors like the silent treatment, refusal to honestly communicate feelings, gossip, bringing up old issues, ‘compliments’ that feel like back stabbing, and intentional feet dragging also create tension and conflict rather than peaceful and respectful resolution of issues. Honest conflict is difficult enough to resolve, but indirect conflict is insidiously problematic. It creates a shifting darkness that make shining light difficult.

In the classic negotiation example, one will keep the other from getting all the orange. Though they only want the pulp for juice, they haven’t taken time to seek to understand the other’s interest. If they had, they would have discovered the other only wanted the rind to make marmalade. They could have both had EVERYTHING they wanted. Instead they settled for half or less.

The peacemaker realizes that dealing with these destructive behaviors calls for a “critical conversation” approach. Critical conversations are those that need to happen but are difficult, even painful, to conduct. Five points are essential to the success of these conversations and the disarming of covert obstructionism behavior:
1. Identify and keep focus on the behavior, without attacking the person.
2. State how you feel about these behaviors,
3. And why you find them harmful.
4. Ask for affirmation of your interpretation.
5. Communicate your desire to understand and be understood, to find common ground for harmonious resolution.

In doing this, you are not attacking the person or their values. Rather you are communicating a concern for a situation that harms a productive and caring relationship. Though difficult, critical conversations convey mutual value and build a bridge for a stronger relationship and improved outcomes.

God does this for us when he convicts us of our destructive behaviors. Godly peacemaking allows us to maintain our deepest beliefs through a forthright and honest discussion, based on love and respect. It builds any relationship, whether that between a husband and wife, parent and child, employee and employer, coworkers, friends, or positional opponents. The result, when we pursue peace instead is always greater joy, contentment, and purposeful meaning in our lives.

Are you an obstructionist or a peacemaker? Isn’t it time to let God’s light shine through you and give peace a chance?

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Matthew 5:9

Finding peace where you are

2 Replies

We live in a world that provides no end of advice on self-help and self-improvement, on increasing productivity, and doing more -better-with less. We are taught to multitask, though I think research is starting to demonstrate that too much multitasking actually decreases productivity and quality of life. Overall, it seems we are wired to do more whether at work or in our hobbies, in keeping up with an endless supply of emails and Facebook updates, or making sure our children don’t miss out on an opportunity to participate in yet one more activity.

Such a world of go-go-go reminds me that I need to guard my heart and mind by purposefully inserting moments of quiet meditation into each day; times to reflect on where I am going so and how I am getting there.

These moments of reflection bring us to a point of inner peace. They restore our trust in who we are becoming.
They remind us of our faith and the gifts and love we’ve been given to share with others.
They teach us the power of contentment and the wisdom of finding perspective in stepping back from constant activity.
They free us from the tyranny of the urgent and allow us to refocus on the truly important.
They allow us to live each day with purpose and passion.

The busier you are, the more hectic your day, the more you need to stop the go-go-go and simply rest, breathe, and thank God for who he is and what he’s done. At what cost do we deny ourselves this instantly available and gracious gift from God?

Find peace wherever you are today.

The power of remembering

2 Replies

If you could remember only one or two things and lost everything else, what would you choose to remember?

Over the years, I’ve observed a number of people lose their memories due to dementia, stroke, other accident, or any number of other events that suddenly or gradually impact their lives. Wives forgot they were married, parents didn’t recognize their children, people from all walks of life lost their identity along the way.

I’ve sometimes pondered in my quiet times of meditation, if I were left with the ability to remember just one or two things, and if I could choose what those were, what would rise to the top of my list to remember and never forget? What comes to your mind? Maybe you’d choose to remember your faith, your marriage, your family. It’s unlikely you’d choose to remember all the trivia you’ve collected in your brain and it seems very likely that trivia competes fiercely with other important things we want to remember!

Of course we don’t have choice or control over such events in our life. Or do we? I’ve written before how our frequent and most passionate thoughts and experiences build neurological paths in the brain. Like a path cut through a meadow by frequent visits, our brains find it easy to access these memories quickly. Thoughts and experiences that we neglect become like paths overgrown with thorn bushes; the path is almost erased by neglect. It is like that with God’s Word and close relationships. The more we focus our time, energy, and passions in these, that memory becomes ingrained in our memory and in our very identity.

That doesn’t provide a guarantee that we will always and forever remember these, but it seems that we have some ability to intentionally strengthen our memories. On each of our 41 wedding anniversaries, Marcia and I revisit our favorite memories of being together and the people we have met along the way. And we try to purposely set aside times to make new memories together. We remember what we imprint on our brains.

How important is the gift of memory! God reminds us throughout his Word, “REMEMBER I am your God.” The psalmists frequently recall the Lord’s deeds so they can remember how God has been faithful through the ages. I find encouragement and hope in remembering how God’s goodness and faithfulness has led me through the trials of the past ten months with Leukemia. Surely, He has not taken me this far to abandon me in present trials!

Remembering past faithfulness builds our hope for the future! It reminds us of God’s compassion and mercies which are renewed every morning. Here’s to building paths to our very most important memories and to making new memories that will make today matter!

Medical update

2 Replies

Some folks have asked for more medical updates on our journey with leukemia. I usually weave these into the post for the day. And you can always use the blog search button to search for key words like update, Leukemia, etc. That said, here is a separate update.

Things are going so well, there’s not a lot to report, (thank you God). I made it through my first six months post stem cell transplant without fever or infection which is very good news. I continue to take precautions against infections but am generally released to normal interactions.

Except for the three months of not eating and being mostly bed ridden, the Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD) has been minimal. And that seems to be resolved with the steroid treatment which has returned my normal appetite and allowed me to start gaining some of the 33 pounds lost during the spring and summer. The steroids again caused temporary diabetes which isn’t as stable as the first time around, but then it’s temporary. I am weaning off the steroids now and hope to be off them and the insulin by Thanksgiving. Steroids are a wonder drug but also can cause you to be ‘wired’, anxious, irritable, sleepless, etc. so it will be good to be off them!

I am tired every day and have to rest more than I am used to doing. But I really enjoy having more energy than I did and being able to get out in the community, take up to 1 – 1 1/2 mile walks, visit with more people (!) and start to help a little around the house, putting dishes away, and small things like that. Problem solving, concentration, and memory impairments continue to be a frustration but hopefully will improve over the next year or two.

I am excited to have started my childhood vaccinations since these were all lost in the treatment process. I got my first child level pneumonia vaccine and a four-strain influenza vaccine this week. I’ll get more pneumonia vaccines, working up to an adult version, plus most the other childhood vaccinations (polio, MMR, Diphtheria, tetanus, etc) over the next 18+ months as my immune system repairs itself enough to tolerate live vaccines. Taken too early the vaccine could transmit the actual disease. Due to that risk, the team tells me I might not be a candidate for some vaccines like chicken pox and shingles. The schedule for vaccines puts off a Bolivia move until summer of 2015 at earliest. Another factor influencing that is it may take another year or more to increase the number of bone marrow cells to their full numbers. Currently I am at 25-30% of normal production. Platelets, which God created to repair and heal our system, are still frustratingly low. Some of these things are just a matter of waiting.

Of course, the really good news is that the last bone marrow biopsy shows NO abnormal cells, <1% "blasts (normal), and NO indication of the very rare 10;17 chromosomal translocation that started this whole leukemia process in the first place; also NO indication of the presence of the 'aggressive' chromosomal markers at CD7 and CD56. Cancer continues to be in remission. Next test isn't scheduled until April 2014, unless problems occur.

So overall, an excellent report. Life is much slower these days, with increased time for meditation, reflection, and prayer; time for enjoying God's creation, and redeeming the time we have with others. JRR Tolkien's famous quote is applicable for all of us:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time given us."

To quote Indiana Jones, "Choose wisely."

Obey your real thirst – trust God

Leave a reply

When is it easiest for you to trust God? When life is hardest or when things go well?

On the one hand, when things go well, we should continue to trust God, but it is also so easy to become distracted by the steady routine of life without suffering. On the other hand, suffering and troubles sometimes bring us to a point of total surrender, when we realize we NEED to put our trust in a sovereign and loving God.

Did you know we always obey what we trust? Even if it seems we violate our basic trust, that which we know to be true, our choice to go another way simply points out how easily pleased we are with suspending our beliefs and trusting in something else. In this way, we become ‘slaves’ to the things we put our trust in.

Like the old advertisement said, we obey our thirst. The question is, what are you really thirsty for? And what are you willing to do to quench it completely? We either thirst for the things of this world (the lust of the eyes, the desires of the flesh, and the pride of life), or we thirst for God:

“As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?”
Psalm 42:1-2

Trust your deepest thirst. Trust God for living water that satisfies fully. Whatever level of trust you have in God right now, it is that level of trust that will teach you to trust more.

“TRUST HIM when dark doubts assail thee
TRUST HIM when trust is small
TRUST HIM when simply to
TRUST HIM is the hardest thing of all.”
Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him” Romans 15:13