Monthly Archives: March 2014

What you water grows

In The Journey of August King, the main character is telling a run a way slave girl about his now dead wife.
August: In the last two years it was kind of like we forgot about each other.
Annalees: Did you love her?
August: I guess I did because I miss her so much.

It was kind of like we forgot about each other. Have you ever found yourself feeling that way about someone you once cared so very much for? I’ve heard people say, “We grew apart,” or “I was holding her (him) back.” The truth is, most of us have experienced times, perhaps seasons, when we have been less than totally invested in a relationship. And yet we all know one of life’s deep secrets: “What you water, grows.” Relationships need watering and nurturing. They need sunlight and air to breathe.

This is true of our relationship with God too. It grows when we nourish it. It withers when we ignore it. It was not just that the people of God rebelled against him time after time. They neglected to thank Him for his provision and protection. They just kept forgetting He was there…until they needed him again. Have you ever felt that way? That you had drifted away and any thoughts of God had faded away to the nether regions of your mind? In His place, you had surrendered your priorities to so very many other things? Or maybe you regularly give God a piece of your time and energy, but you’ve not discovered the sustaining joy of giving Him your all? I wonder if this is actually the most common experience of all men and women. It is not that we find ourselves against God; we just forget about Him for awhile, and sometimes very long whiles.

There is a cure for this and we shouldn’t mistake its simplicity for its power: Draw close. It has been said that you can walk a thousand steps away from God, turn around and find Him just one step away. How is that possible? Because He is always pursuing you, so great is His love. I wish that were always true of human relationships. We are all agents of free will, able to extend or withdraw the hand of love to those who pull away from us. Some say the greatest things in life are to love and to be loved. Even when someone else withholds love, what sense does it make to throw away the opportunity to keep extending love? Never give up on love.

What you water grows, in you and in others. Water love and it blossoms somewhere. Water neglect and it spreads all over like weeds. Wherever there is opportunity, commit yourself to loving well. Grow ever closer to God and you will find more and more opportunities and abilities to grow closer to others in your life.

The battle for the mind

We’ve talked in previous posts how all of life is a battle for the mind. Every day we are challenged to focus on what is trying to control our mind: past regrets, poor self-image, misled teaching, pain and suffering. Hopefully, rather than these, is the Word of God which offers hope and equips us to overcome our circumstances. The following story (from Facebook) gives testimony to the power to fight and win the battle for the mind.

Last month, former Hillsong worshipper Darlene Zschech (“Shout to the Lord”) wrote her fans with news that she started to lose her hair as she began chemo treatments for breast cancer. In a new blog post Zschech updates fans again while undergoing her third round of chemotherapy proclaiming that she is keeping her “MIND focused” on God’s word.

In her latest blog Zschech rejoices in the fact that she is almost through with treatments. “Praise God I have reached my halfway point,” she wrote. Adding, “This entire journey has truly been a mind game. Keeping my MIND focused on all God says, instead of how I am feeling, which is becoming a little fragile at times.”

She goes on to list a few scriptures that help her through her emotional time, including these two:
“2 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
“Romans 8:37 – Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

As a note to all of us, she comments how encouraging messages from others FUELS her soul, a common observation of all cancer patients, I suspect.

The successful songwriter is remaining hopeful and says that God has been with her every step of the way and His word has really been a lamp unto her feet. “Again and again, God’s word trumps our adversities. It’s His nature to heal and to rescue. Never forget that. It’s all based on His great love for us – not on anything we have done.”
– – – – – – – – –
How about you? What trials are you facing that present a battle for your mind? What circumstances challenge you to maintain focused on what helps, not just what hurts? Beyond cancer, other circumstances cause us to struggle with right thinking: relationship stress, chronic pain, physical disease, financial and work pressures, sorrow and grief, and so much more.

But there is HOPE. Paul writes that we are more than conquerors. How can this be? Because we focus on that which brings hope more than our feelings. Encouragement from others fuels us. God’s Word does also, on an even grander scale. Focus on what helps, not what hurts. Win the battle for your mind.

Are you a ‘cheerleader’?

 

 

We received an interesting article about my sister’s alma mater, UNI. It says “the University of Northern Iowa is now home to one of only three college-level ‘inclusive’ cheerleading squads in the nation. It features two boys and nine girls who love to cheer and are avid Panther fans and just happen to have disabilities ranging from Down syndrome to autism.

“The Sparkles send the message that anyone can be a cheerleader or do anything they put their mind to,” said Swanson, founder of the team.

The line, “anyone can be a cheerleader” struck me. I’ve never had any inclination to be on a sports cheerleader team. But I’ve learned how important ‘cheerleading’ is. I’ve commented before about how everyone faces hard battles and encouragement spurs us on. I mean, have you ever had too much encouragement? So it seems that cheerleading, a type of encouragement, is a much needed commodity.

I wonder when you put on your ‘sensitivity antennae’ to notice others around you, how many opportunities there are each and every day to encourage others. I had a mentor who taught me by example how easy and valuable it was to encourage others:
Catch someone doing something well and comment on it.
Compliment someone’s smile or helpful act.
Write a note of appreciation for someone’s talents.
Always write a short note or email thanking someone for their consideration of you.
Acknowledge people with a smile, or hug if appropriate.
Offer to pray with, not just for, someone who shares a heartache with you. Check back later to see how they are doing.

You get the idea. All encouragement costs is the intentional effort and desire to pay attention to others. As Paul said, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

Probably none of us do this perfectly all the time; we all tend to get caught up in our own concerns. But all of us can encourage and cheer others on. You can forget the pom poms and special outfit. Just go light our world by being an intentional cheerleader for others. It might just be the pick-me-up YOU need!

“Let us encourage one another.” Hebrews 10:24-25

The highest of virtues

 

 

What would you say is the highest of all virtues? CS Lewis contemplated that in his time most would say it is ‘unselfishness’. At the same time he contended that great Christians of the past would have said ‘love.’ And he lamented how a negative term had replaced a positive one.

What do you think of when you consider the word ‘unselfish’? Is it putting others first or is it simply denying ourselves in some sort of regimented way? While self-denial is biblical and profitable for us, it is not an adequate replacement for the virtue of real love, is it? When you fast or give up something you enjoy for a period of time, this is not an end goal. It is a means to a greater goal. Jesus said that if we wanted to be his disciples we must deny our self, pick up our cross and follow him.

Our desires are not the base problem. Repeatedly, God tells us that he longs to give us our hearts desires. He promises unimaginable rewards, in heaven and now. CS Lewis: “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (The Weight of Glory)

Let’s remember especially in this Lenten season, our ultimate goal is not to give up, but to take on the cross and thus take on the endless love of Jesus.

Pursuit of happiness

 

 

I wonder if schools still teach the Declaration of Independence and Constitution, not just their text but historical context. One of the most cherished phrases from the Declaration is this:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

It seems to me that Life and Liberty are under considerable attack in the USA today and that the misrepresentation of ‘pursuit of happiness’ is advanced on quite a different track than was intended by our country’s founders. And no doubt, much of our thinking on that subject has been likewise affected.

Columnist Bradley Abramson observes, “What our Founding Fathers meant by “the pursuit of happiness” was the pursuit of virtue, not the pursuit of pleasure.” Consider the contextual thoughts of the historical writers:

Thomas Jefferson – “The order of nature [is] that individual happiness shall be inseparable from the practice of virtue” and “[w]ithout virtue, happiness cannot be.”

George Washington – “There is no truth more thoroughly established, than that there exists . . . an indissoluble union between virtue and happiness” and “[h]uman happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected.”

Benjamin Franklin – “virtue and happiness are mother and daughter” and “without virtue man can have no happiness in this world.”

John Adams – “The happiness of man, as well as his dignity, consists in virtue.”

Abramson again: “To our Founding Fathers, then, happiness was the result of living a morally excellent life. To them, the “pursuit of happiness” was the pursuit—in a very real, ethical, and religious sense—of living virtuously.”

What does this mean for you and me? If we truly were interested in our best interest and our highest joy, we would do best to look toward the pursuit of virtue in our lives, rather than merely our pursuit of lesser ‘pleasure’. For the pursuit of virtue brings about our most happiness.

And what if we choose to not believe this basic principle?

We’d be stuck with trying to live a two-fold life, one track pursuing worldly self pleasure and the other pursuing God. Are you tired of trying to life two lives constantly out of balance with each other? Let’s choose today to believe God at His Word. Pursuing virtue brings these dichotomous lives together, to love God and find happiness. Enjoy God fully and find His the greatest happiness in His love.

Enjoy a great life pursuing the one who first pursued you!

 

 

Getting along with sandpaper people…and cats

Sleeping Boo

Sleeping Boo

Marcia’s cat, Boo, was given to us when he was 1 or 2 years old. The son of a feral cat, Boo has always been a rather grumpy cat. He doesn’t like to be touched except to occasionally have his chin or ears rubbed. He can clearly say just one English word: “No!” But curiously, Boo likes to be near people, just not touched.

Over the 12-13 years Boo has owned us as caregivers, I’ve sought to help him enjoy the social side of life. Whenever I passed him I would quickly pet his back with just one gentle swipe. He would give me his “no” but before he could protest further I would be already gone. Then, when I caught him sleeping (which is most the time), I’d give him a chin rub, scratch his ears and pet his back for a longer time. He never seemed to mind this in his sleepy stupor. Over the years Boo would let me pet him more and more when he was awake. Admittedly, there are still times when he goes into a yoga “cow” position to avoid my approaching hand. But he has become more and more social. He even sometimes comes to lie in my lap when I am watching a movie!

It’s not been a matter of changing Boo. It has been an endeavor of learning to mutually appreciate one another. And I too have learned to appreciate this critter with a seemingly innate grumpy disposition.

I’m guessing you know someone who is by nature a bit grumpy, negative, and/or distant. Maybe they are like “sandpaper people who seem to always rub you the wrong way.” (Probably, we are sandpaper people to others too!) Perhaps you’ve tried to either change them or ignore them. But really, we don’t have the right to change others. Attempts to control others are generally well beyond our means and seldom work. It is as I learned from a career in working with adults with intellectual disabilities and behavioral challenges: we are more similar to one another than different. We all have filters through which we view our world, filters that sometimes skew our focus and understanding.

The opportunity we have is to help each other by creating environments that are conducive to change, conducive to making mutually beneficial social decisions. What kinds of things create an environment conducive to change? Surprisingly, you already know them and have them within your reach: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Against these things there is no law. And they all are hard to resist. All are really helpful in reducing the “sandpaper” nature in others AND us.

Be a peacemaker as you rub shoulders with others who are different from you. You never know what rough spots of yours might become smoothed and what you might learn in the process!

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.” Matthew 5:9

 

 

What can separate you from your greatest love?

 

 

I met Marcia when I was 14, become best friends when I was 15 and then realized when I was 16 that there was something deeper to our friendship. We were in love. When Marcia and I were married four years later we thought our love could not possibly grow stronger. Silly kids. Yes, we knew love, but had no idea how incredibly stronger and deeper that love would become. Forty two years later, cancer has revealed an even greater depth to this love. Early on in our relationship we made a commitment to each other and to God. Even though we would experience turmoil, disagreements, and pain like everyone else, we decided that we would belong to each other forever. It’s like Ruth Graham, Billy Graham’s wife said in an interview once. The interviewer asked her if there were ever a moment when things were tough that she had considered divorcing her famous minister-husband. With a certain twinkle in her eye Mrs. Graham responded, “Divorce, never! Murder… a couple of times.” 🙂

 

Let’s face it, be it a spouse or a close friend, sometimes there comes things that threaten to separate us from the love we once felt in that person’s presence. What we do with that temptation is found at the center of the relationship itself. Taking the threat of a forever severed relationship off the table brings the weight of committed love to crush any threats that come our way.

 

Did you know that’s what God is for us? His love is unconditional. He freely offers it to anyone who would receive it. We all fall short of loving God well. We stray, turn away, forget God much of the day, or openly raise our fist at Him when we are dismayed. We might even sometimes question his existence. And how does He respond? With an unending love and amazing grace.

 

Can anything separate Him from our love? Could cancer? Poverty? Lost love? Depression? Lost job or friends? Chronic pain? Unfulfilled dreams? Most certainly, these will act as a fiery furnace to test our love and our faithfulness. But a committed love will keep us secure in our relationship. Like Daniel’s three friends proclaimed when they were threatened with being thrown into a real fiery furnace: Our God will save us from this fire but even if he does not we will not serve another ‘god’.

 

Nothing can separate you from His love and presence, regardless of how you feel about Him or the circumstances that want to consume you. Nothing. I hope you are convinced of that truth.

 

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Medical update March 7

 

 

I know some of you tune in especially for medical updates. Today’s 11 month post transplant check up was quite routine and pleasantly unexciting. The docs think I am making good progress and reduced the autoimmune suppressant drug a little. This invites a potential increase in GVHD but we will keep close eye on this. Further reductions will be very gradual. I also was able to get off another medication that they have been reducing over the last five months or so.

My next check up is on my one year transplant anniversary next month. I’ll get my monthly preventative lung treatment, a lot more lab tests, a bone marrow biopsy to check for the possible return of cancer or other problems, and of course doctor consult. I am also scheduled to get some more childhood vaccines over the next few months, since I lost all my immunizations when they killed my stem cells. It will take over the next 13-15+ months to get all the immunizations and there are some that they say will be too dangerous so I won’t get those.

There is still a long and unpredictable road ahead. But also there are lots and lots of things for which to give thanks…and we do every day. I hope you are in that same boat with lots of reasons for thanksgiving, especially God’s steadfast grace, strength, and love.

I am only one, but I AM one

 

In one series of my Spanish grammar lessons the characters say they were going to do one thing, but instead they decided to do something else. And I wondered how this resembles our everyday life. I mean, how many choices do we make in a given day? Why certainly, it must be hundreds. I was going to pay a compliment to the stranger, but in place of that I kept quiet. I was going to help hold the door, but instead I stepped back. I was going to visit someone in the hospital but instead I stayed home. I was going to spend time listening to God but instead watched the news. You get the idea. There are lots of choices everyday where we INTEND to do one thing but in the end we choose something else quite entirely.

Face it. We can’t do everything. (That’s not what Philippians 4:13 means.) But we can do some things. The quote to the right, incorrectly attributed here to Helen Keller, was actually first authored by Edward Everett Hale, 19th century clergyman and author:
“I am only one, but I am one.
I can’t do everything, but I can do something.
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something I can do.”

We all have choices, every day, lots of them. Let’s choose to do what we can to let light shine into darkness.

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:17

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

Note: To help my recovery along I am, at least temporarily, publishing blog posts Monday-Friday. May your weekends ones of quiet reflection and application of truths confirmed in your heart.