Monthly Archives: April 2016

Who is the God you love?

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Do you love God? Does celebrating his love serve as your purpose in life?

Our response determines every aspect of our life. If I don’t love God, then who is the focus of my devotion? If not, “In God we trust,” then who?

It seems the default answer is to trust in ourselves: our own abilities to think, philosophize, communicate with others, earn a living, make things with our hands, set goals and agendas, and become the captain of our own destiny. Is it possible to believe in God and trust in yourself?

We all trust to some degree in our good health, our intellect, the faithfulness and devotion of our friends and family. We trust in our leaders, our wealth, or the comfort and safety of our home. But who is the God we truly love and trust above all else? Who is the God of your daily schedule and life ambitions?

Maybe your view of God is formed by the God of the Bible. Over the years you’ve come to grasp an understanding that he is who he reveals himself to be in his Word, that he is who he says he is. You believe what he says, that he gave his only begotten Son, Jesus, to die for the forgiveness of our sins; that this same Jesus rose from the dead and gave his very Spirit to reside in the hearts and minds of his true followers. Ah, the name of Jesus; perhaps you’ve noticed how the mention of his name dramatically changes the conversation of God from one of intellectual belief to personal conviction.

But have you personally experienced his truth, grace, and power in your life? Have you discovered his transformational power to make you free from the bondage to sin, even while you remain ever so imperfect like me and everyone else around you? Have you experienced his power to find real peace in the middle of life’s difficult storms? When the world shakes around you, have you found him to be your unshakeable foundation, your solid rock? Have you found the secret of being content, realizing that your circumstances don’t define you? Do you know for sure that you are the beloved child of the King of Kings, and that his inheritance is yours for all eternity?

This is what the God of the Bible says:

By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.  John 13:35

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 1 John 4:7-9

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. John 1:12-13

And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 1 John 5:11-13

God is more than an idea, more than an emotional feeling. The God above all gods call you and me to a life of love. Believe in him and find peace. Experience his love.

 

The Rusty Bucket

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This story speaks such wisdom to me, I wanted to share it with you.

The Rusty Bucket (author unknown)

Faith is not about everything turning out okay. It’s about being okay no matter how things turn out. 

Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of Johns Hopkins Hospital. We lived downstairs and rented the upstairs room to clinic patients.  One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking tiny man. Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, “Good evening. I’ve come to see if you’ve a room for just one night. I came for treatment this morning from the eastern shore but there’s no bus ’til morning.”

He told me he’d been hunting for a room with no success since noon. No one seemed to have a room for him. “I guess it’s my face…I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more treatments…”   For a moment I hesitated but his next words convinced me: “I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch. My bus leaves early in the morning.”

I told him we would find him a room but to rest on the porch while I finished making supper. I asked the old man if he would join us.  Holding up a brown paper bag he said, “No thank you. I have plenty.”  After supper, I went out to the porch to talk with him. It didn’t take long to see that this old man had an oversized heart crowded into a tiny body. He told me he fished for a living to support his daughter, her 5 children, and her husband who was hopelessly crippled from a back injury. He didn’t tell it by way of complaint. In fact, every other sentence was prefaced with thanks to God for a blessing. He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was apparently a form of skin cancer. At bedtime we put a camp cot up for him. When I got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and the little man was out on the porch.

He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, halting as if to ask a great favor, he said, “Could I please come back and stay the next time I have a treatment? I wouldn’t put you out a bit. I can sleep fine in the chair.” He paused a moment and added, “Your children made me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my face, but children don’t seem to mind.” I told him he was welcome to come again.

On his next trip, he arrived a little after 7 in the morning. As a gift, he brought a big bag of fish and a quart of the largest oysters I had ever seen! He said he had shucked them that morning before he left so they’d be nice and fresh. I knew his bus left at 4:00 A.M. and wondered what time he had to get up in order to do this for us.

In the years he came to stay overnight with us, there was never a time that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his garden. Other times we received packages in the mail, always by special delivery; fish and oysters packed in a box of fresh young spinach or kale, every leaf carefully washed. Knowing that he must walk 3 miles to mail these, and knowing how little money he had made these gifts doubly precious.

My neighbor had remarked after his first stay, “Did you keep that awful looking man last night? I turned him away! You can lose roomers by putting up such people.” Maybe we did lose roomers once or twice. But Oh! If only they could have known him, perhaps their illnesses would have been easier to bear. I know our family always will be grateful to have known him. From him we learned what it was to accept the bad without complaint and the good with gratitude to God.

Recently a friend who has a greenhouse showed me her flowers. We came to the most beautiful one of all, a golden Chrysanthemum, bursting with blooms. But to my great surprise it was growing in an old dented, rusty bucket. I thought to myself, “If this were my plant, I’d put it in the loveliest container I had!” My friend changed my mind. “I ran short of flower pots,” she explained. “And knowing how beautiful this one would be I thought it wouldn’t mind being starting out in this old pail. It’s just for a little while til I can put it in the garden.

She must have wondered why I laughed so delightedly, but I was imagining just such a scene in heaven. “Here’s an especially beautiful one,” God might have said when he came to the soul of the sweet old fisherman. “He won’t mind starting out in a small body til he gets to heaven.”

All this happened long ago, and now, in God’s garden, how tall this lovely soul must stand.

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

Guard your heart and see others through God’s eyes!

Turning tears into prayers

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From tears to prayers

From tears to prayers

Daniela, our longtime yet still young friend from Bolivia, shared this image with us. It takes the Spanish word for crying, LLORA, and converts it to ORA, meaning to pray. It says,

“When you are sad, turn your tears to prayer!

The message is taken from the time when Jesus said,  “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed,“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:38-39)

We’ve all experienced pain and suffering to some degree. Whether light or intense, and whether it is our own pain or the pain we feel for someone else, it always feels like a heavy burden. Have you ever been “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death?” Certainly, Jesus knows the depth of your pain and mine. We are not alone in our sorrow, not without hope. Though tears overcome us and we feel completely overwhelmed, we are not left to despair – if we turn our tears into prayer.

We see David, who God called “a man after my own heart,” doing this. David was relentlessly and persistently pursued by his enemies. They pressed down upon him from all directions, threatening to take his life. As we shared Psalm 63 with a dying friend, he agreed his life felt like that; the armies of cancerous cells were encamped all around, not only threatening but promising to take his life. Like David, we cry out, “How long O Lord? How long will you wait to vanquish my foes? How long until you redeem my sorrow? How long until you bring me home? And yet I will trust you. And yet I will still praise you, for you are the Lord my God, my refuge and my salvation.”

Tears flow and we think they fall needlessly and meaninglessly to the floor. But that’s not so. Our loving God who sees us where we are, catches each one of our tears.

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8

God doesn’t waste pain. It becomes a megaphone that demands our attention and he uses it to draw us closer to him. He takes note of not only some, but all your tears. He records them in his book. He pays attention not only to our troubles but to how we respond to them. He sees our faith in action, turning tears into prayers – and prayers into thanksgiving.

There is “A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4) Turning our tears into prayers invites laughter and dance and brings hope to the sorrow. May such contented joy be yours. 

 

 

Shipwrecked no more

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Spring is here and thoughts of summer already upon us. My neighbor has his boat out, anticipating great times with his family at the lake. It reminds me of a time when my sister and her husband invited us for a lake outing. We were sailing in his craft when we came upon two guys in shallow water. Yelling and screaming, they frantically kept diving into the water. Trying to help, we discovered these guys were desperately trying to save their three best friends whi had fallen overboard. Only it turned out the friends’ names were Jim Beam,  Johnny Walker, and Bud Weiser.

Unable to carry on a  coherent conversation with the guys and assured they we’re as safe as they wanted to be, we went on our way. But it caused me to remember, I’ve been there before – living for the fun of it with no thought of who I was becoming or who I was meant to be.

Suppose you came across me in such a state and, at the risk of your own life, you rescued me from my shipwreck situation, saving me and resuscitating me to a new life. I would be forever indebted to you, wouldn’t I? Imagine inviting me to your home and caring for me until I was recovered. Over time we come to enjoy each other’s company more and more, sharing both the celebrations and the real challenges of life together.  Picture a scene where, instead of being the rescuer and the shipwrecked, we become full partners in the business of life. And we marvel at how a dramatic rescue effort turned into a fulfilling lifelong friendship.

An amazing piece of fiction or a true story?

Isn’t this actually the story of our lives, constantly buffeted by the waves of life, with no rudder to guide us and seemingly at mercy of the sea? Unable to save ourselves by our own efforts, we find ourselves tossed against the rocks and shipwrecked, without hope. But then a rescuer came to save us. Only instead of risking his life, he actually gave his life so we might be saved. Saved not only from being eternally shipwrecked but saved also from a life of meaningless and fruitless effort, tossed this way and that. Not only saved, yet also redeemed and restored… renewed into a vibrant and fulfilling relationship with our rescuer, who as it turned out, overcame death itself!

How do you picture yourself in this story?

Actually, there are four of us in this story. One of us feels like it’s smooth sailing and everything is under control – at least until the threatening storms come our way.  Another sees themself in the midst of a stormy life, desperately clinging to the sides of the boat, trying to weigh anchor and find a secure hold, hoping beyond hope to be rescued. Yet another has already experienced the throes of a disastrous shipwreck. Whether it be relationships, finances, business and life goals, or our own deteriorating bodies, we find ourselves tossed against the rocks. And finally, one of us finds themselves rescued from the disaster that came upon us. In fact, impossible as it seems, here we are surrounded by the broken pieces of our lives, but not alone. It would have been enough had we been rescued from the stormy seas, but our rescuer came to take us from this hopeless place to a place of restoration and forever celebration. And as we wait, we find ourself miraculously changing from a miserably lost, shipwrecked fool, to become known as friend and beloved son or daughter. Not only that, but our redeemer regards us as so valued he gives us his inheritance, even the right to become his child.

How do you see yourself in this story of life? Are you the captain of your own destiny, the lost soul in stormy waters, the hopelessly shipwrecked, or the rescued, restored and redeemed? Jesus is the one who longs to rescue us all; and not only rescue us, but bring us into a place where the broken pieces of our lives become fully restored. Reach out for his lifeline and inherit a whole new life!

Shipwrecked no more!

 

Waiting to die

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Marcia and I enjoyed our visit with friends in a care center. Diagnosed with terminal cancer and no treatment options remaining, he is waiting to die. It’s inspirational to witness his positive attitude and it’s clear he is at peace with his pending future. In fact his wife says he’s like a kid before Christmas and can’t wait for that special day to arrive. Except in this case, that special day is the moment he steps from this life into his heavenly home. And like the child before Christmas, it’s hard to wait. “Why can’t Christmas (heaven) come right now?!” He tells me how is body is deteriorating and doesn’t understand why he has to wait for his heavenly home. I know how he feels.

We seldom dare think of it but we all share the same mortal diagnosis. None of us get out of here alive. But unlike the countdown of days before Christmas, we don’t know when our final day will arrive. It could be tonight. Passing a bad accident on the other side of the interstate today, we prayed for those involved and pondered how they had no clue what was in store for them this very day. Neither do you or I.

And yet we live pretty consistently in a way that denies our pending end of this life’s journey. We make plans for a future that may never arrive. And so we must. Bills have to be paid, laundry done, and work tasks accomplished. There are children to raise, friendships to foster, relationships to mend, and investments to be made. We can’t truly live as if this were the last day of our life, but shouldn’t we live with that very reality in mind?

I kiss my wife before she leaves the house and remind my grandchildren how amazing they are as I hug them each time we meet. There are so many to-do lists that scream for attention and many that have no real lasting value but call to us just the same. But we must not let the tyranny of the merely urgent control what is really important. Isn’t this what living a full abundant life is about? Walking each day’s tightrope, aware of both the threatening perils of a fatal fall and also the immense joys waiting for us at the end of the line.

I don’t have it all figured out. Mostly each day seems a hot mess; you never have it all together. But in the midst of that struggle between fully living and being at peace with dying, there exists a certain level of contentment and  satisfaction – a peace that surpasses all our common understanding.

Just as it’s hard to wait for Christmas Day on earth, so it’s hard to wait for a glorious heavenly life. Here’s to keeping both in mind throughout this very day!

 

Inviting the thief into your house

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imageYou’ve heard about Save the Whales and Save the Rainforests. Perhaps you know a Global Seed Vault exists as a fail safe protection against natural or man-made disasters. The Harvard Art Museum in Cambridge, Massachusetts even houses the world’s rarest pigments to make sure their distinct colors are not lost. Whether it’s Save the Pygmy Frog, Save the Pigment, Save the World, or Save the Child, you’ll find groups of people to rally behind a cause they deem worthy of protection.

Closer to home, we lock our doors to protect our belongings and loved ones. At the same time, how often do we leave the doors wide open for the enemy to come charging into our homes and our lives? We warned our children about the subtlety of movies and books that could influence them in a harmful way.  They would sometimes argue that a little bit of cussing and swearing wouldn’t bother them. They said it just goes in one ear and out the other. It was the same with movie scenes that were unfit for children or adults.

The truth is, what goes in, stays in. Our brains are hard-wired to remember things, especially things that are atracked to emotion. Be it grief or pain, horror or enticement, emotionally laden words and images chemically imprint themselves on our memory. Maybe you know from experience how seemingly impossible it is to “unsee” a gruesome or unwholesome image; how challenging it is to “unhear” coarse talk that works is its way into our vocabulary.  The deeper the emotion, the more firm the imprint and more difficult to erase. Inviting some movies, books, talk, and habits into our lives is like leaving the door unlocked and wide open when we leave on vacation. We might as well put out a sign, “Thieves, help yourself.” Jesus himself warned, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10)

Are you tired of having your joy and peace stolen by the chaos and corruption around you? Are you tired of marriages and families being destroyed by what seems to be the norm in an immoral culture? Have you sometimes found Jesus’ promise of a full, abundant life buried somewhere under an avalanche of pressing forces and influences that run contrary to your deepest values?

Consider the antidote:

Above all else, guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

 

Of course, you know all these truths, don’t you? But are you applying them to protect your heart against bitterness, anger, greed, and corrupt thinking? (I’m examining myself as I ask.) Having asked God to make us a “new creation” and purify our heart and set it after his, are we guarding against the very things that threaten our peace and joy, or are we inviting divisive and coarse talk, immoral thinking, wasteful activities,  and greed to establish strongholds within us? It’s one thing to know we should lock our doors against intruders. It’s another thing to actually do it and also guard the doors to our heart.

Perhaps our children thought we were being prudish in protecting them from the horribly bad influences of the world. But protecting your heart is not about being prudish. It’s about being prudent. It’s about protecting what is most valuable. It’s easy to be seduced by the dark side. It happens so subtly. One small indiscretion leads to another and then another, until we find ourselves thinking or doing what would earlier have been unimaginable to us.

If you’re looking for a good cause to support, something worthwhile to protect, then first protect your heart from the thief who threatens to steal your joy.  Ask God, “Search my heart O Lord. Reveal what strongholds need demolished in my life. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”  Then actively guard your heart by what you let influence it.

 

 

Who are you meant to be?

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I was thinking about Mary and Martha.

You probably know the story. Jesus had come to visit his friends. Mary sat at his feet listening attentively to all he had to say while Martha was tending to all the business of hospitality. If she were at our house, Martha would be clearing piles of paper off the dining room table, cleaning the cat hair off the recliners, washing dishes and preparing food to eat. Is it the same at your house? Thank goodness for the Martha’s of the world. Where would we be without them?

But . . . Jesus had an important point to make to each of us. Martha, feeling like all the burden of hospitality was on her, appealed to Jesus. “She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” I imagine you have felt that way too at one point or another. The extra work-load always comes to you while others go home early. Be it housekeeping or budgeting, taking out the garbage or earning the money to pay the bills, or just dealing with the daily challenges that you face, it’s easy for any of us to become preoccupied with our burdens and resentful of others – at the expense of enjoying the time we have with those close to us. I’ve too often heard at funerals, “I wish I would have taken time to visit before s/he passed away.” I’m reminded of a cartoon of a frail man reaching for a cookie from the plate on the table. His wife slaps his hand saying, “Don’t eat those cookies; they’re for your funeral!”  I chuckle at the irony but there’s a serious point to be understood. Jesus says it this way:

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Why did Jesus commend Mary? Wasn’t it because she chose to devote herself to hearing his voice and listening attentively to his teachings? Maybe Mary had heard what Jesus had said earlier, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.” (Luke 4:4) In any case, it seems Mary understood the essence of Jesus’ message, “The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life,” meaning eternal life. (John 6:63)   Mary understood “the one thing” that was needed. While Mary was commended for her devotion, Martha was chastised for becoming so caught up in the business of life she had forgotten her purpose.

It’s a daily challenge for most of us, living with our spiritual purpose in mind, that “one thing” that matters most, while taking care of earthly chores. Maybe you’ve heard it said that “If we lived as if every day was our last day on earth, no one would do dishes or laundry or pay bills.” There’s a balance to be attained, carrying out our daily duties while remembering it is the Lord who allows us to do them.

Are you more like Mary or Martha? Whichever the answer, it’s likely God purposefully designed you with that predisposition. But are we completely resigned to our Mary-like or Martha-like ways? Doesn’t God put people in our path (and us in theirs) for the very reason of influencing one another and sanding off each other’s rough edges, becoming more Christ-like in the process? Remember, it wasn’t the chores that Jesus found objectionable but the complaining, the worry, and being upset that distracted her from her true calling. What things tempt you to worry, complain, and become upset?

I suppose it’s possible to be “so heavenly minded we’re of no earthly good,” but at the same time we’re well advised to not be so “earthly minded that we’re of no heavenly use.” Perhaps the key is to become so heavenly minded that we can be of earthly – and heavenly – use.

Being inclined to be a type A “Martha” personality I’m asking God to reveal what “Mary-like” qualities I need to develop and incorporate into my natural repertoire.

How about you?

 

 

The Untold Story

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We just watched an old movie, The Ghost of Dickens Past: The untold story of a simple act of charity. It starred Christopher Heyerdahl, who in this presentation bears a striking resemblance to our good friend Pastor Willy Neudahl. True or fictional, the story relays the inspiration behind Dickens’ famous novel A Christmas Carol. Perplexed by the inability to write and yet the driving need to write in order to make money, Dickens is led by a mysterious young girl who helps him see the unintended consequences of his self-driven choices. Arriving back in his present environment he is moved to give generously to a needy family. Upon doing so he realizes at once that his worry and despair were immediately replaced by the joy of turning his thoughts from his own wants and needs to the real needs of others. It was to him, as it is to each of us, the key to a life liberated from the enslaving pursuit of more. It reminds me of the revelation that came after a conversation between a mother and her son:

It’s time to do your studies, said the mom, But why do I need to study asked the boy? Because then you will get good grades. But why do I need good grades? Because then you will be able to graduate. But why do I need to graduate? So then you can go to college. But why do I need to go to college? Because then you can get a good job. But why do I need a good job? So you can marry and have children and support your family. But what comes after that? Well, after that you eventually die. And how will all my accomplishments benefit me then mother?

The procession of questions and answers led them both to ponder in silence, what is actually the true meaning of life. What fuels the purpose of our earthly being? Is it just a procession of tasks and accomplishments to advance our own dreams and feed our own joys? Has it occurred to you lately to consider where your path of endless tasks and accomplishments is leading you – and for what great purpose? A better job for a better house and more things to put in it? More savings for comfortable retirement so I can relax in leisure and satisfy all my desires? I can say for sure, it’s been on my mind. I suppose it is natural that, the less of life you have to live, the more you realize its value. Better yet, that we remember this lesson from the days of our youth and pursue its wisdom with great haste and diligence.

“What is the purpose of my life? What will be the lasting result of all my efforts?”

Jesus summed it up with two commands that should always lead my daily pursuits and energies: To love the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength and to love my neighbor as myself. Love God – Love others.

All throughout God’s redemptive story is the constant theme of his consistent, persistent, and relentless pursuit of the very people who ignored him and rebelled against him, people who had no way of paying him back for his endless love and amazing grace, people like you and me. And his story models the pattern for our own lives. The best and most fulfilling lives are those spent in behalf of the hungry and satisfying the needs of the oppressed. For sure, our well-earned gains bring us such temporary pleasures. But the greatest reward is always – always – found in ministering to those Jesus himself called, “the least of these.” In fact, the only way we could possibly serve him and know him is to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, care for the sick, visit those in prison. (Matthew 25:34-40)

God’s Word makes it clear that such good works do not get us into heaven. That gift is provided only by his grace. But it is by those very selfless works to which our lives are devoted that bring us into the presence of our Lord and that reveal who he is and who we are meant to be in his sight.

Our life purpose is achieved by the untold story of our daily choices. May yours bring you greatest joy!

 

 

Not alone

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One thing that always threatens us is the false perception that we are all alone; that “nobody knows the struggle I’ve seen; nobody knows my sorrow.” Such thinking always puts us in a very dark place that isolates us from the very help and solace we need. It leads us to despair and then to hopelessness. Feeling forever defeated, we give up on dreams, on loved ones, even on life itself.

One thing that always comforts us and brings us hope is that even in times of struggle – especially in such difficult times – that we are not alone at all. God cares about your struggles and so do others, even if they find it hard to express or you find it hard to receive their helpful gestures. Even in times that seem like a dry desert, a wilderness that lacks clear direction, in times of dire distress when you can’t find comfort, when you’re so weary and have no words to express your pain and sorrow and disappointment – even in these times you are not alone. You may feel God has abandoned you or that he ignores your requests. It may seem like he has forgotten you or is angry with you.

The psalmist felt this way too. His response? He cried out loud to God. He turned from his present and past problems to the one who knows his future. He meditated and remembered that God is God, even in the midst of his troubles.  He appealed to God, remembering his history of faithfulness to his people, his wondrous and miraculous works. After acknowledging his very real pains it seems the turning point for him is recognizing:

“Your ways, God, are holy. What god is as great as our God?” Psalm 77:13

How true is that for us also! Acknowledging in the middle of our troubles and challenges that our God is a sovereign and caring God. Where else would we turn for help? Our money, our abilities, our health, our friends and family – all are temporary. Only God has the lasting answers to our woes. Even the worst of earthly storms answer to him.

“Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.” (v 19)

Even when we cannot see the footprints of God or fathom the moving of his hand among us, even when it seems his ways might not be better than ours, our God is our God. Everything we have ever faced, what we face now, and everything we will ever encounter, is subject to him.

Take a moment to remember how God has specifically moved in the past to protect and provide for you. Ponder the names of people he has put in your path to help and comfort you. Recall how he has helped you to endure and persevere and overcome your past challenges. Write these down and imagine how this same mighty and faithful God will carry out his promises to protect and provide for you in the future, even as he comforts you now.

We are not alone.  Remember God and remember his faithful promises. God – our God – has adopted us into his family and will never leave us. He sees us where we are and leads us through even the valley of the shadow of death. He understands our worries, doubts, and fears. He is calling right now:

“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

The question for each of us is, “How will I respond to his call right now?”

Still waiting (medical update)

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If you hear I died of Leukemia or fusariosis, don’t believe it. It was death by insurance.

We came back early and empty handed from our second Mayo Clinic. No tests, no doctor consultations, nothing.  The insurance company completely reversed the decision yesterday to authorize a hosts of consultations and tests at Mayo, leaving us back at square one to start over with new referrals. It’s a matter of the left hand not knowing or agreeing with what the right hand is doing. Meanwhile the lab tests indicate the cancer continues to grow rather quickly. Doctors are hesitant to treat the Leukemia because 1) more chemo could make me vulnerable to a fatal fusarium outbreak and 2) the treatment itself may be fatal. More tests are required to better assess the situation and present a potential treatment plan.

Even in the face of physical evidence to the contrary, I feel like I am getting stronger. Though the doctors say I am “cachectic,” I am gaining weight and walking better. The pain continues but is less than three months ago.

I know God will heal all his children in heaven, and believe he intends to heal me in this lifetime and grant Marcia and I more years of ministry together. He doesn’t have to do so. He is sovereign and his ways are so much higher than ours. While this further delay makes no sense to us, we know that our great God specializes in bringing good out of bad. His plan has always been a rescue mission to redeem us and “restore the years the locusts have eaten.”

One of my favorite stories is from the Old Testament. Because Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego would not deny their one true God, and because they would not bow down before  King Nebuchadnezzar, they were sentenced to death in a fiery pit. So real was the evidence of this fiery trial that some of the king’s own men died from its heat. But the three who were faithful proclaimed that their God would save them from the fire. And that even if he didn’t, they would not bow down to Nebuchanezzar.

We feel like we are in a similar position. As the real medical evidence heats up like a fire around us, we believe God will save us from this. But even if he doesn’t, he remains our true and faithful, merciful God.

So we live with one foot in heaven and one foot on earth. Truthfully, that is the plight of each of us, though we often live as if to deny it. We continue to fight the fight and to ask God for his guidance through this difficult part of the journey.

We’re thankful for insurance and hope things will work out so I can get the treatment I need. But God can heal me even without such treatment. And even if he doesn’t, he remains a good and gracious God, always faithful, always loving.

Thank you for your ongoing prayers too. They matter!