November 22, 2012. We were driving home from a day filled with family gatherings. As we approached our exit on the interstate, my lower back suddenly started to cramp up. I was sure I had overextended myself playing with all the grandchildren. Within a few hours I would find myself in immense pain, ultimately requiring two trips to the ER to put me down. Later I would discover it was a huge army of immature white blood cells that were applying so much pressure on my bone marrow cavity that they prevented mature cells from growing. Two weeks later would come the diagnosis of AML – Leukemia.
Early on, my wife and I decided we weren’t going to let cancer define us. As individuals and as a couple we are more than that. But everyday, the condition and details of Leukemia would continue to press in: Medical reports to be interpreted, daily procedures that were foreign to us, always more numbers and counts to track, and of course the pain from the condition and the treatments.
It was a new world to us and each step of the way we found ourselves asking, “Who am I in the midst of this?” “Am I a cancer patient or a man who has cancer?” You might ask what is the difference. The first question sees the product of an ailment. The second acknowledges a person of value, choice, and meaning who also experiences cancer. Cancer defines the person in the first question. It is only one element in the second. We cannot escape it and we have to attend to it, but it does not determine who we are. We are creatures of conviction, not just circumstance.
How about you? No doubt, you have confronted great battles before. But are you a divorced person or a unique individual who has experienced the pain of divorce? Are you a poor person, or a person of limited financial resources who is in many ways richer than others? Are you an invalid or a person constrained by illness or physical condition, but still filled with ideas and passions to share with others?
When does faith in what is unseen become the vessel that carries you through that which is seen and experienced? When does faith determine who you are and the circumstantial condition become something to navigate?
The answer is found when we come to realize who we are in relation to our great God. When we realize our victorious nature comes from his power, our circumstances lose their power to overcome us.