Tag Archives: C.S. Lewis

Talking to God about grief

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C.S. Lewis speaks of his experience of grief. I appreciate his sincerity and honesty. His wife’s suffering and death affected him deeply, taking him through a journey where, to his experience, God *seems* to change. What a frightening experience when we see only through a veil. What comfort is offered when we are able to see more clearly.
Lewis, grieving the death of his wife, Joy:

 

“Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be—or so it feels—welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited? It seemed so once. And that seeming was as strong as this. What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?

 

I tried to put some of these thoughts to C. this afternoon. He reminded me that the same thing seems to have happened to Christ: ‘Why hast thou forsaken me?’ I know. Does that make it easier to understand?

 

Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not ‘So there’s no God after all,’ but ‘So this is what God’s really like. Deceive yourself no longer.’”

From A Grief Observed
Compiled in A Year with C.S. Lewis

 

Lewis didn’t lose his faith in God, but he faced many honest and difficult questions. How about you? What is your God really like? Is He a gracious and loving God even when you don’t feel it? Is He sufficient for your needs only when you feel they are all met? Or can you find satisfaction in His perfect plan even when it doesn’t seem to make any sense? He is waiting to talk with you about your questions.

The cure has begun

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You will never influence the world for God by trying to be like the world.

 

“I think you’ve seen Aslan,” said Edmund.

“Aslan!” said Eustace. “I’ve heard that name mentioned several times since we joined the Dawn Treader. And I felt—I don’t know what—I hated it. But I was hating everything then. And by the way, I’d like to apologize. I’m afraid I’ve been pretty beastly.”

“That’s all right,” said Edmund. “Between ourselves, you haven’t been as bad as I was on my first trip to Narnia. You were only an ass, but I was a traitor.”. . .

It would be nice, and fairly nearly true, to say that “from that time forth Eustace was a different boy.” To be strictly accurate, he began to be a different boy. He had relapses. There were still many days when he could be very tiresome. But most of those I shall not notice. The cure had begun.

From The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Compiled in A Year with Aslan by C.S. Lewis

 

Are you living a truly transformed life as promised (the old has gone; the new has come)? Or does your Christian life look remarkably like it did before Christ?  It is easy to get sidetracked even after a life-altering event. Like Eustice in the story, relapses happen. But we dare not accept them as permanent. Rather we need to shake it off, ask forgiveness, and get back on track with the Spirit of God leading us.

 

I’m sure you feel the same way as Eustice, not wanting to relapse back to his old, harmful habits. One way to watch for this is to ask, “Does my life appear remarkably different from before I met Jesus? In what ways does my life reflect my love for this world’s pleasures?” Take this to God and let Him continue to mold you into His image.  His cure has started its work in us. Let it not be abandoned, but rather cooperate fully with the Great Physician.

 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2