Tag Archives: chronic pain

Whom then shall I fear?

The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear. The Lord is the stronghold of my life.of whom shall I be afraid? psalm 27:1

 

David certainly didn’t lack for woes and reasons to fear. Anointed as King but not yet crowned, he was besought by enemies intent on killing him. And what does he do? He turns to God, the stronghold and fortress of his life. And in this security, he asks, “Whom shall I fear? Of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1-2

 

Most of us in the western world don’t face such violent persecution. But we do face enemies, don’t we? Our foes may be of our own doing, thought patterns that lead us away from God’s stronghold and into pits of despair and fear. Careless words or neglectful actions and apathy may cause relational division among the body of believers. The good news is that we can control our own thoughts and actions by consistently and repeatedly submitting them to God.

 

But what about enemies that aren’t of our doing? Chronic physical pain may come against us and wreak havoc with our bodies and soul. A spirit of depression may weigh heavily upon us. We ask God to search our hearts and see if there be anything we need to submit to Him. We pray for grace and deliverance. We wait. And we wait. Sometimes we wait for years, decades, or a lifetime.

 

I think of Marci’s debilitating migraines and her nearly forty years of suffering and waiting for relief. I think of her pain, a lifetime of not being able to work, time away from family, and of the medicines and hospitalizations. But I also remember her indomitable spirit that pressed on in the way Paul describes in Philippians 3. I remember how she would close the blinds and lie down, then get up, then lie down, then get up again. It’s true, a mother’s work is never done, even when Dad helps out; sometimes because Dad helps out. (Sigh)

 

I think back on those times with cancer when I wanted to toss in the towel. I knew God’s grace was sufficient and that His strength is perfected in my weakness. These truths were evident to me, but I didn’t always feel it during those moments of terror. I felt like some days it was a fight to not let my feelings overwhelm me. I knew God was my stronghold and yet it was like the bombs kept exploding around and within me.

 

What do you do when this happens to you? David asked one thing of God: that he may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of his life. If only he could live in God’s presence he was confident that he would see God’s goodness here on earth…if he just take heart and wait on the Lord. (Ps. 27:4,13,14) I wonder how many times he prayed that prayer?

 

There is a transcendent peace that falls upon the believer who turns to God. It doesn’t always dispel the pain but being in God’s presence makes it bearable.

 

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4