Tag Archives: Ephesians 4:32

Be kind – Be a peacemaker

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Be kind one to another. Ephesians 4:32

 

Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God. Matthew 5:9

 

Such a simple concept: be kind. It’s one of the first lessons we learned as children. But even as adults we need reminders to “play nice in the sandbox.” I remember one motivational speaker talking about communication, giving the example of a ‘discussion’ he had recently with his wife. He shared with us, “And then I had this brilliant thought: ‘Say something sarcastic!'” It doesn’t take much imagination to understand how the rest of that conversation went, does it? And yet, it is so easy to say an unkind thing. How many times in the busyness of our own agenda do we say a careless thing that is hurtful to others? It’s so easy to do.

 

You know what else is easy? To say a kind word, to encourage someone else. It takes so little time to actually greet the person in the checkout lane, to compliment the worker in the aisle who is attending to their job, to let someone with fewer items (or the mom with three kids in tow!) go ahead of you in line, or to thank someone for helping you. This same treatment goes for strangers we meet throughout the day, and of course our family. I revel in hearing my daughter praise her children often. I suspect that too many people go through life thirsting to be acknowledged as a person of value and to hear an encouraging word. You may find it difficult to praise someone because they are so often acting in a contrary way. But take your time and watch for an opportunity to praise them, thank them, or just recognize them as a person of worth.

 

In the same manner, we don’t have to disagree with everyone, even if we are sure we are right. We really don’t have to correct everyone in our path about every little thing. Even if you believe you are right, consider the value of saying, “Perhaps you’re right,” or “Thanks for sharing your perspective.” God calls us to be peacemakers, to live in an understanding way with each other. Ultimately, this means we are to live in a manner that encourages others to become reconciled with God. But it starts by us creating relationships with others that reconcile us to one another.

 

“Be kind” might seem too simple a strategy for successful living. But consider this: Maybe your agenda isn’t what’s so important today. Maybe God’s primary agenda for you today is for you to be a peacemaker. Who knows – a kind word from you may be the vital drop of water needed to sustain and encourage someone who is dying on the vine, who may look fine on the outside, but inside is ready to call it quits. Be kind to each other. Bring peace to the world in the way you interact with those around you.

 

 

The Four Promises of Forgiveness

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In his book, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Conflict, Ken Sande shares four promises essential to forgiveness:

“I will not dwell on this incident.”
“I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”
“I will not talk to others about this incident.”
“I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”

Making – and keeping – these promises removes the barriers that create and maintain conflict in a relationship. They bring you and the other person closer whereas not forgiving drives you apart. Remembering that these are the same promises God makes when forgiving us should serve as motivation for us to be faithful in keeping these promises with others.

Have you tried to keep these promises and not succeeded? Maybe you are trying to forgive in your own power. The best reconciliation efforts are those surrendered to God. Take your struggles to him and let him guide and equip you to be a peacemaker in your relationships today.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

9 Words For a Thriving Marriage (and other relationships)

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At age 90, Cliff Barrows, Billy Graham’s lifelong Crusade song leader, offers valuable life lessons on marriage and other deep relationships.

I think Barrows is a good example of ordinary people who serve and are loved by an extraordinary God…who in turns makes them extraordinary.

How to Have a Loving Marriage: Life Lessons from Cliff Barrows at Age 90

  • Even when schedules are busiest, make marriage a top priority. Barrows gets up early every morning to pray for and with his wife. She reads devotions to him because his macular degeneration has robbed him of his sight.
  • Pray for discernment – Read God’s Word – Pray for application.
  • Don’t pretend that marriage is easy or perfect. It will always require hard work from both husband and wife. 
  • “I think there are nine words we should be willing to say every day: I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you.” -Cliff Barrows
  • Three more words: I was wrong.  “I think the greatest secret to a Christian marriage is the willingness to acknowledge it was you,” (Barrows) He recites Ephesians 4:32 — a verse that has become his compass through the ups and downs of marriage:

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”(NKJV)

(original article by By Kristy Etheridge, Billy Graham Evangelical Magazine)

Does Forgiving Others Make Me a Doormat?

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One Go Light your World reader asks what the bible says about forgiving others when they continue to be abusive. Such answers are difficult to provide in a 400-500 word blog post. But the bible is clear to provide guidance to us.

Matthew 6:7-15 instructs us to model our forgiveness by how God forgives us. Likewise, Ephesians 4:32 commands, “Forgive each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” In not forgiving others, when we ourselves have been granted such great forgiveness of our own wrongdoings, is to deny the presence of Jesus in our lives and to deny our trust in him. And denying Jesus is to miss heaven. Jesus tells the story in Matthew 18 of a man who was forgiven much but who then withheld forgiveness from someone who owed him little. Withholding the mercy that was shown to him, he was handed over to his tormentors. Such is our tortuous fate when we withhold mercy from others.

Forgiveness does not remove the negative consequences of the offense. I remember a man who asked the church for forgiveness for very serious offenses he had committed. I believe his repentance was most sincere, but he still had to do jail time for his crimes and in the process was separated from his church and his family. You can say, “I forgive you but I do not trust you, for your continued actions are indeed untrustworthy.” This is particularly true of an unrepentant person. Luke 17:3-4 says, “Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” I’m not sure that full forgiveness without such repentance is actually possible or biblical. Even if you are able to forgive the person for their offense, the intimacy of the relationship will not be able to be completely restored until they repent. That same separation protects you from being a ‘doormat’ for continued abuse. And yet we are commanded still to love and pray for them, even if forgiveness is not possible.

And yet, unrepentance is not a complete barrier to forgiveness. On the cross (Luke 23:34), Jesus asked his father God to forgive those who knew not what they were doing. They hadn’t repented but still he forgave them. In the end forgiveness is a matter of the heart. The heart that is found in Christ, is able to forgive others in his power. It is able to pray for God’s best for that person and seeking his strengthening presence in your own life.