Tag Archives: Faith in the presence of fear

Beyond fear

As a kid I was afraid of the dark, spiders, and heights. The first two don’t much bother me anymore. When Marcia and I first started dating (I was 15 or 16) I took her to the State Fair. Most fair rides make me dizzy but no young teen is going to admit this to his girl. So when she said she wanted to ride the double ferris wheel, I said sure, even though I was hoping more for the carousel…or the park bench. Now, in my mind the double ferris wheel, is a pure invention of evil. There is no practical reason a body should be thrust from three feet off the ground to, oh I think about a mile or two at what seems like 80 MPH. It might be a bit less than that but it is a high-speed, jerky ride no one should go on. But being in love, I was cool, calmly and through clenched teeth asking my dear to not shake the car while maintaining an iron clad grip on the one inch steel bar (you can probably still find my hand imprint today), you know, to make sure she didn’t fall through.

In my mind, I think I do a lot better now, but fears do have a way of grabbing us and not letting go, don’t they? Some fears are rational and others have no basis for existence. They are False Evidence Appearing Real; like when you thought there was a monster in the closet or spooks under your bed.

What do you fear? What False Evidence Appears Real to you? Evidently the fear of speaking in public still ranks high amongst top fears. Some people fear success so they never step up to a challenge. I’ve known some who feared talking with God because they couldn’t see him or wasn’t sure he would listen. (He will.) Some folk fear the future, imprisoned by teachings in their past.

Freedom in faith might be the opposite of slavery to doubt and fear. Faith isn’t just the absence of doubt and fear; faith is doing what you fear, trusting in the outcome. It is courage in the face of fear. I don’t know how this leukemia journey will end, any more than you know what unexpected turns you will face. But I believe in a good ending and this helps me break through fear.

Maybe it would be helpful to make a list of your fears, crossing out the ones based on false evidence. With the others, consider what God said to Joshua:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

You don’t have to live in the shadow of fear. Faith brings Light that casts out shadows. Be strong and courageous.
Put on faith and let your fears remain in the closet.

Seeing life through other’s eyes

Steve Allen created a 1970s talk show called Meeting of Minds, where he would interview famous people throughout history. Actors appeared in full character and interacted with Allen, giving fresh insight into what it was like to live their historically famous life.

Experiencing a significant trial in your life is like that. By shifting your focus from your own pain and suffering, you can find that God has increased your sensitivity to the condition of others in your path. You can see life through other’s eyes. And you may find that the comfort He gave you in your trial later benefits another who is going through a similar struggle in their life.

This walk through Leukemia has included an introduction to numerous symptoms that are not unlike the struggles others faces, physically, mentally, relationally, emotionally and spiritually. Some examples include:

‘Chemo brain’ that interferes with interferes with mental acuity and problem solving. Your inhibitions filter may falter and you end up saying things you normally would have kept to yourself or that might have been expressed more gently. Medications may cause you to feeling ‘wired’ at times, sometimes resulting in lack of sleep and other times crashing into depths where you temporarily lose sight of the ‘light’ of hope you need to find your way back. Emotions may flow more freely than you like, particularly if you are extremely tired and weak. This wears on caregivers too! Stress can cause sensory overload where everything seems amplified and you want to withdraw into a world where you can focus on just one thing. Other emotional and physical factors can lead you to feel less confident and question your ability to make valuable contributions.

And on the other side of the equation, these very trials give opportunity to find peace in the storm, faith when surrounded by fear, strength in your weakness, spiritual and emotional healing in the midst of physical disease, the safe harbor light of hope in a very dark sea of uncertainty, a thankful heart when there seems much reason to complain, the value of others when you are lonely, the contented joy that is intended to be found on your path of suffering. . . and the perspective to see others through their eyes, and offer them the comfort you have been given in your suffering.

What trials are you going through that increase your sensitivity to the needs of others around you, and that offer you the unique opportunity to experience deeper blessings that you might not find otherwise?

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4