Tag Archives: from surviving to thriving

Recovering a sense of future

 

When life comes crashing down, either suddenly or over the crushing weight of burdens carried too long, our vision becomes clouded and it’s hard to imagine a better future, or even any future at all. But recovering a sense of future is necessary to transition from surviving to thriving… to living well today. Despite the pain, sorrow, and disappointment that darkens our world right now, we need to recover a hope for the future.

 

Robert was one of the NYC firemen who responded to the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center. But experiencing that tragedy didn’t prepare him for the crisis he experienced when diagnosed with crippling MDS four years later. Losing his job to disability and surviving a stem cell transplant, he had to redefine how he saw himself, the limited control he still had in his life, his sense of purpose and meaning, and his sense of the future.

 

“I’m still dealing with GVHD, as well as weight gain and mood swings from steroids. The hardest part is not being able to keep commitments because I never know how I will feel from one day to the next. It’s hard to accomplish tasks I set for myself. On the positive side, I’m getting better. My fear about getting sick has decreased. I don’t need blood transfusions anymore and I don’t worry about blood tests. And even though I miss working, it’s a relief to not have to worry about returning to work and wondering if I’d be able to perform my duties.”

 

“There was never a time when I didn’t look to the future. I worked toward short-term goals, like getting my central line removed, controlling my GVHD, and being able to quit taking steroids. Some days, I might be struggling with fatigue or just feeling down, but…once I’m on my feet I am able to keep going. Sometimes it’s hard to accept the changes I’ve been through, but I’m still getting better and adjusting to my ‘new normal.’ The main thing is that I’m here for my family and to see my kids grow up, and that gives me something to look forward to.”

 

Boy can I empathize with Robert! It’s like he is reading a page from my Leukemia journal. Keeping an eye on the future, without losing your focus on living well today, is a crucial element to making a successful transition from just surviving a tragic circumstance to living a thriving life. And our future is not just tomorrow or next week or even the years to come. Our greatest hope for the future is found in spending all eternity with God and reuniting with loved ones who have gone before us. Living with the future of heaven in mind is a great motivator for living well today!

 

Some thoughts to ponder as you consider the future:

Am I learning to better accept uncertainties in life?

How can I better adapt to uninvited change in my life?

What practical steps can I take to live fully today while planning for tomorrow?

 

If you struggle with the uncertainties that come with change or the thought of an unknown future, talk about your concerns with a trusted friend. Include God in your honest conversations. Recovering a hopeful sense of future helps you live purposefully and well today.

 

Recovering a sense of meaning

 

We’re reflecting on the thoughts of authors Magee and Scalzo who wrote, Picking up the Pieces – Moving Forward After Surviving Cancer. Their premise is that there are four ‘corner pieces’ in transitioning from surviving to thriving and that understanding these helps us to put the rest of the pieces back together.

 

Nicole is a stem cell transplant survivor. Initially she didn’t respond well to chemotherapy; at one point she only weighed 72 pounds. Determined to love stronger and care more, she set her eyes on staying focused and regaining her energy. She says, “I gradually got back to living life! I was doing the things I did before, but with a greater purpose. Staying focused on the future and continuing to plan for tomorrow helped. Getting this far was not easy.” She describes financial struggles that compounded her physical and emotional suffering. “I had to stay focused, take small steps, and not let the struggles get in the way of my progress. Making it through a tough time inspires me to live each day in the moment. I am passionate about volunteering. Being an example of hope for others is what I love about survivorship.”

 

Have you been in that place? Maybe it wasn’t fatigue or cancer, but maybe you’ve come to that same sense of wanting – and needing – lasting meaning in life. Maybe you’ve felt a sense of disconnectedness from others or even from life itself. Maybe you’ve realized that we’re meant to be part of a ‘community’ but you feel like your piece of the puzzle is insignificant. Don’t believe it. God doesn’t make insignificant pieces. Each piece of the puzzle has purpose; none is without meaning.

 

As you reflect on your life, consider what insight you’ve gained from your journey. Try to see your life not only on how it impacts you right now, but how it impacts others. Looking at your life from the perspective of the whole journey, even up until your last breath, will help you find the purpose and meaning you seek. This is especially true if you consider your life as it relates to the grand plan of God.

 

Let your mind leave behind what was lost and even all that surrounds you. Ask yourself what you’ve gained from your life experiences. What parts are making you stronger? Out of the confusion and disappointment of trials God can bring a sense of clarity and vision that was clouded before. Ask Him to reveal greater meaning in your life as you read His Word.

 

Recovering your sense of meaning, or discovering it for the first time, is a vital part of thriving and living the ‘abundant’ life that God designed for you.

 

 

From Surviving to Thriving

 

Two years after my stem cell (bone marrow) transplant, I’m reflecting on how this journey has changed us. I say ‘us’ because if you are tightly connected to family or friends, you know that others share your journey and the caregiver bears a very large portion of the burden. It’s not just a cancer phenomenon. Name your battle, be it the death of a child, divorce, depression, chronic illness, or unresolved grief, few escape the path of suffering and sorrow. And so while I reflect on my journey through AML, feel free to adapt the reflections to your particular challenges.

 

Life altering events often come with no warning. One day everything is fine and suddenly your world is turned upside down. The prognosis of “12 weeks to live” quickly got my attention. There’s no room for denial. The focus was survival. The few options were evaluated and a treatment plan was quickly initiated. One month of chemo became two because the first chemo round didn’t knock out the cancer. Then after achieving remission, the aggressive nature of the cancer required a third round of heavier dose chemo followed by a stem cell transplant. What we didn’t realize is that surviving and enduring the transplant was to be a much tougher and longer battle than beating the cancer.

 

You know the fight to survive is not won by all.  But if you do find that you’ve survived whatever overwhelming ordeal you might ask if you will ever learn to thrive again.

 

Authors Sherri Magee and Kathy Scalzo describe four phases of transitioning from survival to living well*:

1. Recovering a sense of self
2. Recovering a sense of control
3. Recovering a sense of meaning
4. Recovering a sense of the future

 

The authors liken these as four ‘corner pieces’ of the recovery jigsaw puzzle. Understanding these helps us figure out how the other parts of recovery fit together to make us whole again. If you’ve gone through the valley of surviving a sudden life change you might be wondering, “Is there anything beyond mere survival?” The answer is ‘Yes.’ God intends for us not only to survive but to thrive, that is to live an abundant life. This doesn’t look the same for everyone. Getting “back to normal” may be an unrealistic goal, but there is a ‘new normal’ to be discovered. You may be creating a new picture, different from the one you thought you were putting together. And along the way you find that others hold some of the pieces to your puzzle and you hold some of the pieces to theirs.

 

It’s not an easy process, but it’s possible and it’s worth it. “My experience broke me down,” says transplant recipient Kristina. “But it also built me back up.” Perhaps it will help to spend time reflecting on the four ‘corner pieces’ of your own puzzle. As you do, remember that God isn’t ‘one of the pieces.’ He is the puzzle designer. Give Him all your broken pieces and let Him help you put them back together as you transition from surviving to thriving.

 
Tomorrow: The recovery of self
 
* “Picking Up the Pieces: Moving Forward After Surviving Cancer”