That was the expression used by my oncologist at my 2 year post transplant evaluation. It was his folksy yet compassionate way of acknowledging the impact this troublesome journey with cancer and reluctant transplant recovery has had on our dream of mission work in Bolivia. The latest medical counsel is “Wait…” at least until my health stabilizes. We had been preparing ourselves for this news when my GVHD recently returned. We’re looking to a new short-term treatment intended to derail what seems to be leading to a repeat of my earlier Failure To Thrive diagnosis. It could be much worse, so we’re thankful.
As we left the doctor’s office, this unusual expression lingered in my mind. And I wondered, have you ever had a grenade in your dream box? Something that suddenly, unexpectedly, and explosively disrupted your greatest plans and hopes? Perhaps Joseph felt that way when he was abandoned by his brothers or when he was later falsely accused and thrown in prison. King Saul was constantly throwing a grenade in David’s dream box. Fourteen years separated David’s anointing and actually becoming King. Certainly, the disciples must have been shell-shocked when their Lord’s body was taken down from the cross. We remember the long sessions praying and counseling with friends who lost a child at much too early an age. I recall working in a nursing facility where two women were in agony the same night; one whose body was failing while she pleaded for life and another who pleaded for Jesus to take her home, but her body would not surrender. I remember the gentle old man who visited his wife every single day though Alzheimer’s had quickly robbed her of every memory of him. Some dreams seem to be lost forever.
Whether big or small, God cares about your dreams. His unending love and amazing grace doesn’t always make it easy. But He makes it possible, because His compassion and mercies are new – every single morning. We don’t always feel it but His presence is what we need when dreams are broken. Where else would we turn? Will our emotions and logic console us?
Sometimes dreams are lost for a season, sometimes for this present life. But the very strong foundation on which our faith is built tells us to hold on to hope, to let it be a secure anchor in the most tumultuous of storms. It’s a place where everything else is weighed on the scale and measured against the value of knowing Jesus and being able to come to Him only by grace, while we wait.
Perhaps in that place of waiting out your present storm, you might find you are meant to be part of someone else’s dream, an answer to their prayer, an encouragement to the hurting, a ray of hope to those who have lost their light.
If it seems your dream box is shattered, if what you’ve built your life upon comes crashing down, come to Jesus. Come, just as you are. Don’t wait to get patched up. Just come. Honor His name in the storm. And if you can’t do that, come anyway. In the darkness of the night, hold on to your hope. Resurrection morning is coming soon.