Tag Archives: Inner nature

The Battle Within

In the movie, A Knight’s Tale, “Sir William” tries to prove his love for the lady Jocelyn by winning all his tournament jousting matches. Jocelyn, knowing that William thrives off such success, demands that if he wants to prove his love for her, he must deny his own nature, and LOSE each match. The scene that follows is both humorous and inspiring.

I sometimes have to remind myself that my body is fighting the battle of/for its life, because other than being extremely tired, I have no real complaints. But this tiredness does wear on me, requiring a degree of rest that completely goes against my nature. Like “Sir William,” I am wired to be a ‘fighter.’ Let’s put on the armor and bring on this battle. I am not foolish enough to think I could ever do this alone. If God is not in the midst of the battle with me, it certainly won’t go well. But if He is, “Let’s do it!”

Last weekend I went through a tough physical battle in the middle of the night. With fever and chills and uncontrollable shaking for hours, I was praying all the ‘fighter’ scripture verses I had memorized. But there would be no relief until I finally landed on Matthew 11:28 where Jesus says, “Come to me all of you who are weary and I will give you rest.” Almost immediately my body started to calm and within the hour my fever broke.

I try to balance exercise, mental activity and rest as my body becomes weaker day by day. I think I should be on the slow path to restoration by now. But my body tells me the battle is not suited to the convenience of my schedule, reminding me that any perception of control in life is an illusion.

And so I am learning by experience what my heart has always known: we are called to be warriors of God, soldiers of the cross. But we must never forget that our inner nature is also to be that of a child who simply rests in the Heavenly Father’s loving arms.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He MAKES me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me besides the still waters. HE restores my soul.”