Tag Archives: Let go

Don’t let go

 

There’s a subtitled Chinese short film1 of a man who asks his wife for a divorce. Tearfully she agrees on the condition he would do one thing:

 

“Hold me every day for one month.”

 

On day one she asks to meet at the place where he proposed to her, giving her a ring and saying “It’s for life.” Before leaving she says, “Please hold me.” Another day, she meets him where he first said, “I love you.” Another day, they meet where they shared their first kiss. And so it goes, each day offering a meeting, a memory, and a moment to be held and cherished. On the last day, she greets him saying, “I’ve signed.” Handing him the divorce papers, she leaves without being held. Visibly shaken by the realization of what he is about to lose, the man runs after her calling, “Can I hold you tomorrow?” The film ends, leaving us with the impression that the marriage will endure after all and the lesson that there are some things worth holding onto at all costs.

 

You’ll encounter some things today that you’re best to let go: bitterness, regret, false guilt, negative thoughts, frustration over small things, anger, dishonesty . . . the list goes on. Bad things happen and we have to make choices to either hold on to them or let them go. These choices set a course for the happiness – or grief – we experience each day.

 

Sometimes we let go of even “good” things for something better. . . better habits, healthier thinking, better ways to relate to difficult people. We might come to a point of letting go of chasing after false dreams and empty ambitions. It’s a sad conclusion to climb a ladder only to realize that it’s leaning against the wrong wall! Maybe some things come to mind even as you read this. (Don’t close this blog post without pondering what choices you will make about this.)

 

Sometimes we need reminded that there are some things we shouldn’t let go. We need to cling to them as if to lose them would be to lose the meaning for living. The long list of these things are topped by faith, hope, and love. Things happen in life that lead us to think they don’t matter, or that there is something better we could “trade up” as if they were an upgrade in our life. We could trade faith for our own way of thinking; hope for our self-made goals and strategies; committed love for something that seems easier and more fun.

 

But we need to be careful of what we put down and what we pick up. The trade may cost us more than we bargained for and give us less than we expected.

 

Faith. Hope. Love. “Simple” words, but not always easy to hold onto. But there is a way. We are able to hold onto these when we surrender our own ambitions and strategies every morning and let God fully hold onto us and our lives. It might not make sense to our way of thinking because we don’t see things as clearly as they really are.  We have an illusion of control. But when we keep holding on and refuse to let go of life’s most precious gifts, their importance becomes more fully known – and life itself is filled with meaning and blessing.

 

Give love a fighting chance. Don’t let go.

 

“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:12-13

 

1 View the short film here.

The monkey trap

 

 

There is an old fable about how to catch a monkey where cherries in a jar, with a rope tied around it, are used to trap the animal. A wise old monkey will not fall for the trap, however a young immature monkey, tempted by the thought of possessing sweet cherries, would put his hand in the jar and grab as many cherries as possible.  But once he grabbed all the delights he could not pull his hand out of the jar because the opening was too narrow for the monkey’s fist AND the handful of cherries. Of course, the monkey COULD free himself by dropping the cherries and pull his hand out. But he won’t let go of his prized possession! So he remains captive, his hand in a jar, connected by a rope to the hunter. Hence the term “monkey trap” came to be used for any clever invention that would trap an unsuspecting and gullible victim.

 

We might look on the fable and think to ourselves, “What a foolish monkey! If only he had let go of the fruit, he could have been free.” But then, can’t you think of a time in your life when this story applied to you? The things we possess sometimes end up possessing us.

 

Now, this is not always the case. Possessions are not inherently evil. There is plenty of fruit to be had and enjoyed in life while remaining free. But the wise among us will recognize a ‘monkey trap’ and let go of the things that entrap us.

 

I remember a man who told me he would like to give a tithe to the church but he had this new boat he was making payments on  and that kept him from his commitment. Another said he would invest his money and give a big gift when he was old, instead of giving more humble gifts now to help alleviate present needs. Someone told me they wanted to go on a mission trip with us but they couldn’t afford it, yet they ate out regularly at restaurants and had an abundance of new fashionable clothes and crafty nick knacks.

 

I don’t use these examples to judge anyone; only to illustrate that when we pick up one thing, it often prevents us from picking up something far more valuable. After all, one can only hold on to so many things at once.

 

What are you holding onto? Look not just your possessions but also your attitudes toward others, your ‘right to be right’, your clinging to relationships that just won’t be yours. Be careful not to fall into the monkey trap. Let go of everything that enslaves you.

 

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1