Tag Archives: life balance

Are you trying to find life balance?

I had a dream. It was one of those conspiracy theory plots we all laugh about – until we discover them to be actually true. As with many dreams, the details were a bit sketchy by the time daylight arrived. But I remember the phrase “masked intentions.” In this dream I was a “mole” in an organization that promoted itself as a developer of healing medications. But in reality, their goal was to pursue a human genome project that would result in a Nazi-envisioned “perfect race.” I woke up just as I was being interrogated by the company on suspicion of being “the mole,” and before finding out if I was able to get the truth out to the public.

Whew! It was a thriller nightmare that left me exhausted. But it also left me pondering the “masked intentions” of our own lives. I wonder if we say our chief goal is to pursue God and follow his perfect plan for our lives, when in reality we are pursuing our own personal agendas. We hotly pursue profit and fame. Career and passion for personal hobbies consume us to the point people actually identify us by those pursuits. In the meantime, instead of actively pursuing God we find ourselves pursuing our own comforts and ambitions. God, family, and friendships take a second place spot in our agenda. We say, “I wish I had more time for prayer, for family, and time to visit friends who are hurting, but I am so busy!”

It’s a common dilemma. What are we to do? Perhaps our first thought is to try to achieve some sort of balance that results in a little time for what is most important in our lives. But the pursuit of balance often is like juggling too many balls in the air. Inevitably they come crashing down and create more stress that pushes us back to what we do best – pursuing our own interests and agendas.

Rather than pursuing the “perfect life balance,” may I suggest an alternative approach? What seems to make more sense is to focus on life integration. Balance requires finding time to add more into your schedule. An integrative approach to living subjects everything to the one most important thing.  The one most important thing is that which you will be most satisfied achieving at the end of life  and which brings you most enjoyment also at the end of the day.

What is that one most important thing? For most people I visit with, it comes down to faith, family, and friends. Simply stated it’s all about relationships – the only thing we take to heaven with us. So whether we’re at work or play or recharging our batteries by coming quietly before the Lord, our focus is constantly being attuned to our relationships with God and others. It is as Jesus summed up:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37-39

As we integrate this dual command into everything we do, we’re asking,”Is this thing I’m doing, saying, or thinking honoring God? Is it demonstrating my love for others? Is this moving me toward the one most important thing in my life?”

When we are thirsty, we don’t say, “I’ll have some juicy lemons and limes and then have a drink of water.” No, instead we infuse the citrus fruits into the water for a cool refreshing drink. All parts become blended, not balanced and it is this blending that most satisfies us.

If there’s actually a way to achieve life balance, I think you’ll find it in the simple process of integrating – blending – our chief values with your daily activities. It’s found in sediting the goodness of the Lord in all our  activities and thoughts. Don’t be deceived by masked intentions. Be fully satisfied. Enjoy the one integrated life you have to live!

Waiting to die

Marcia and I enjoyed our visit with friends in a care center. Diagnosed with terminal cancer and no treatment options remaining, he is waiting to die. It’s inspirational to witness his positive attitude and it’s clear he is at peace with his pending future. In fact his wife says he’s like a kid before Christmas and can’t wait for that special day to arrive. Except in this case, that special day is the moment he steps from this life into his heavenly home. And like the child before Christmas, it’s hard to wait. “Why can’t Christmas (heaven) come right now?!” He tells me how is body is deteriorating and doesn’t understand why he has to wait for his heavenly home. I know how he feels.

We seldom dare think of it but we all share the same mortal diagnosis. None of us get out of here alive. But unlike the countdown of days before Christmas, we don’t know when our final day will arrive. It could be tonight. Passing a bad accident on the other side of the interstate today, we prayed for those involved and pondered how they had no clue what was in store for them this very day. Neither do you or I.

And yet we live pretty consistently in a way that denies our pending end of this life’s journey. We make plans for a future that may never arrive. And so we must. Bills have to be paid, laundry done, and work tasks accomplished. There are children to raise, friendships to foster, relationships to mend, and investments to be made. We can’t truly live as if this were the last day of our life, but shouldn’t we live with that very reality in mind?

I kiss my wife before she leaves the house and remind my grandchildren how amazing they are as I hug them each time we meet. There are so many to-do lists that scream for attention and many that have no real lasting value but call to us just the same. But we must not let the tyranny of the merely urgent control what is really important. Isn’t this what living a full abundant life is about? Walking each day’s tightrope, aware of both the threatening perils of a fatal fall and also the immense joys waiting for us at the end of the line.

I don’t have it all figured out. Mostly each day seems a hot mess; you never have it all together. But in the midst of that struggle between fully living and being at peace with dying, there exists a certain level of contentment and  satisfaction – a peace that surpasses all our common understanding.

Just as it’s hard to wait for Christmas Day on earth, so it’s hard to wait for a glorious heavenly life. Here’s to keeping both in mind throughout this very day!

 

The balance of our life

 

Wouldn’t you like to live a balanced life in this unbalanced world? You can, by weighing things on God’s balance. But…God’s balance will seem contrary to the world’s ways. His ways involve intentional choices to weigh things on His eternal scale to find its true weight or worth. Consider for example:

 

To hold one thing sometimes you must let another go.
We want to have and fill our lives with so many things. You already try to balance work and family, friendships, health, bills, church, devotions, your interests and activities, AND keeping up with Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Consider the natural order of things: God, family, others. Maybe it’s time to make room for the truly important things and let something go.

Where you look is what you see.

When our eyes are constantly focused on what the world has to offer we see ourselves as consumers whose duty it is to follow along.  If our focus is on making a living we will probably lose sight of what we make of our lives. If we’re always evaluating ours lives through the eyes of others we miss seeing things through God’s eyes.

You catch what you chase.

In a similar way, whatever we pursue ends up pursuing and catching us. God says we become a slave to whatever we chase. What parts of your life are being shackled by unnecessary and harmful influences or ‘lesser’ ambitions? Stop chasing them and pursue a closer walk with the God who loves you.

Empty your cup to have it filled.

We frequently run ourselves dry. We need to be refueled and filled up. But if your cup is already partially filled with stuff that’s harmful – distracting thoughts, deeds, ambitions – you need to empty it out…every day. Then ask God to refresh it, fill it to the brim, and overflowing with His truth and grace.

What you give is what you receive.

“Love is something if you give it away you end up having more.” But if we give away contempt, bitterness, gossip, apathy, sarcasm and mockery, those things quickly poison our own lives. Be intentional and purposed in handing out goodness, grace, forgiveness, gentleness, kindness, and patience.

You are blessed in order to bless.

The purpose of our blessing is to bless others, not keep it to ourselves. And blessings most always travel on two-way streets. The blessing you give returns to bless you, perhaps not in the same way or some manner you think it should. But blessings given in God’s name do not return void.

You find real victory in surrender.

There is a very strong temptation in this unbalanced world to achieve and conquer, to become victorious in every battle. But some battles aren’t meant for us to fight. And in most others we are not called to fight, only to stand firm in God’s Word. If we don’t stand firm in God’s protection we will easily fall for anything and everything. Contrary to worldly ‘wisdom’, the key to victory is in surrendering all your burdens, even your ambitions, to God.  He is the only one who can weigh everything in your life and hold them in proper balance.

 

PS- Happy birthday to my wife and best friend! I won’t tell you her age, but I can think of *65* reasons I love this beautiful woman!

Can We Have It All?

“You can have it all.” Wherever you turn, this proclamation confronts you, either as a direct quote or an implied fact: whatever you want, you can have it. After all, we live in the land and time of opportunity, right?

Often in our struggle to ‘have it all’ the focus turns to work-life ‘balance’. Questions like, “How can I succeed and advance at work while balancing my responsibilities to family?” It seems we approach life balance as if it were an acrobatic act. How many things can I juggle without dropping one? Have you ever felt that way? Maybe that’s where you are now, trying to balance:
Career, marriage, children
Money, home, hobbies
Facebook friends, family, future dreams
Ministry, personal goals, family
(Can I have a slice of God and a side of purposeful living with that?)

One of the problems with ‘balancing’ life is that it is not easily separated into categories that give themselves well to compartments. If you have ever carried family struggles to work or work problems home, you know what I mean. Author Myron Rush said it well in Lord of The Marketplace. We don’t have a secular life and a sacred life. We have just one life to live. It is not either quality or quantity of time and effort. It is “both-and.” One life is lived with one purpose.

This life is not so much balanced as it is blended.

If there were a recipe for a well-lived life it certainly would not keep all the ingredients separated in their own containers. Instead, all the ingredients must be blended together in proportion with one another. If we approach life in this manner, it seems we can have it all. You can eat your cake and have it too. At least to the extent that we live each day with ‘all’ our being, all that God has created us to be. If God has the very best plan for us, then bringing all our desires and ambitions in alignment with His seems to be the key to ‘having it all.’

What does ‘having it all’ mean to you? What would it look like to stop balancing life and start blending it? Add your comment to benefit other readers in the Go Light Your World community!

“You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – God. (Jeremiah 29:13)