Tag Archives: Romans 12:18

Piece of mind or peace of mind – revisited

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Revisiting a personal reflection from March 2013 –

 

“I’m gonna give that person a piece of my mind!”

 

How often have you heard (or said) that? The problem of course is that we all have just so many pieces, and after awhile we are sure to run out of them. And then, there we are, mindless with no peace.

 

I shudder to think of how many times my life used to express that sentiment. I used to be an angry guy with such high expectations for everyone, including myself. There was not much joy in that piece-meal life. Finally, I came to the end of my rope. I realized that I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be. And furthermore, I had no real hope of changing myself by my own power. I already knew who Jesus was and proclaimed to follow Him. My mouth said, “Jesus is Lord” but my actions said, “I am Lord of my life. I am in charge.” Yes, in charge of my hopeless anger.

 

The solution was to give it up, to stop being in charge. Now, surrender doesn’t come easy to any of us. But in such battles such as this, real victory only comes through surrender. You can either be a slave to selfish ways or you can surrender to God’s leadership in your life. You can either insist on remaining the same, or you can be transformed. Over thirty years ago, I gave up a life of anger and bitterness. I gave up giving people a piece of my mind and chose instead to pursue peace of mind.

 

How about you? Maybe your lack of peace isn’t the result of anger or bitterness or resentment. Maybe what threatens your peace is the idea you can control your destiny. But it’s tiring being general manager of the world, isn’t it? Or maybe it’s battles of self confidence that erode your sense of personal peace and satisfaction. Memories from the past continue to play out in your head and steal your hope for peace today. Or maybe, you are one of millions who are trying so hard to always do the right thing. You’re the good deed doer everyone admires but you find no restorative peace because you’re carrying the weight yourself instead of cooperating with the Holy Spirit. Good deeds are an expression and overflow of our peace with God, NOT the route to it. For God so loved the world he sent his Son, not you or me. And his Son sent his very Spirit, not your skills or mine so that we might know his peace.

 

We are called to be peacemakers. Is there anything that stands in the way of living at peace with others in your life? God has the answer and the power to change that. Give it up to Him and find peace. Bring it all before his Spirit, and let him bring you peace and show you how to live at peace with God who then teaches you to live at peace with others.

 

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

 

The danger of ‘the last word’

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Have you ever won an argument only to found out that you really lost more than you gained?

 

Having “the last word” of an argument isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In fact it might be just the first word of the next argument!  There might be a momentary feeling of satisfaction in winning the argument but it’s both a fleeting and empty gain if someone else had to be disrespected in the process. Think for a moment. If you win the argument but lose the respect, trust, and affection of the other person was it worth the ‘win’?

 

Even temporary relationships like the encounters you have while shopping and traveling have a bigger impact than we might think. I remember being in a restaurant when someone ripped into a waitress because the coffee was not hot enough. Is it not enough to stand your ground when requesting good service without having to resort to belittling or deriding another human being? (I’ve read that the ‘Sunday lunch crowd’ is regarded as one of the worst in this regard by restaurant workers…a point for somber reflection.)

 

Relationships aren’t meant to be battle grounds. Especially when we argue about such petty things, how a decision is made might be as or more important than the actual decision. The last one standing is not the victor. In fact, if someone has to lose in order for the other to win, the best part of the relationship may be lost. Great relationships are best characterized by cooperative and synergistic efforts that build each other up. And we don’t build something up by tearing it down. You can’t protect, preserve, defend, support, sustain or shield with words and actions that attack, offend, belittle, or disparage the other person.

 

Here’s the challenge. The next time you find yourself at odds with someone else, consider what is really important. Ask yourself how ‘winning’ this argument will affect the rest of your relationship with this person and future decisions. In our attempt to be understood, let’s make sure we are first attempting to understand what is important to the other person. We can do this by being people of peace who build up others, not tear them down. After all, don’t we so very much appreciate grace and forgiveness when it is extended to us that we should also be eager to extend it to others?

 

There is a line from a gentle Christmas song that would guide us well all year long in our relationships and especially or ‘arguments’:

 

Let there be peace on earth  –  and let it begin with me.

 

Make sure your ‘last word’ can live with all the words that follow.

 

“Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.”  Romans 12:18

 

 

The harmony of life

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I had forgotten how much I enjoyed and how much I miss playing in the symphony. It has been oh so very many years. Watching the foreign film, Lé Concert, brought it all back. More than fifty people of different backgrounds, different interests, and different ambitions, all came together with one purpose, to make beautiful music together. Some had more prominent parts to play than others. But all contributed equally, for to miss one part would be to miss the symphony. And then to share the culmination of all the private practicing and all the rehearsals with a anticipating public… Making and enjoying beautiful harmony together, yes, this was life.

We, you and I, are like that you know. People from different backgrounds, different interests, different ambitions, and even different beliefs or interpretations about those beliefs; we are called to live in harmony with each other, enjoying the ‘music’ that we create together as our paths unite in life.

Think about the people in your life, especially those that don’t agree with you or have the same insight as you. Just as there is much honest discussion and feedback in symphony rehearsals, so should we also be honest with one another about our passions. But in the end, if there is no coming together, where is the harmony in life?

Where in your life can you bring more peace and more harmony to your relationships with others?

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

Piece of Mind or Peace of Mind?

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“I’m gonna give that person a piece of my mind!”

How often have you heard (or said) that? The problem of course is that we all have just so many pieces, and after awhile we are sure to run out of them. And then, there we are, mindless with no peace.

I shudder to think of how many times my life used to express that sentiment. I used to be an angry guy with such high expectations for everyone, including myself. There was not much joy in that piece-meal life. Finally, I came to the end of my rope. I realized that I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be. And furthermore, I had no real hope of changing myself by my own power. I already knew who Jesus was and proclaimed to follow Him. My mouth said, “Jesus is Lord” but my actions said, “I am Lord of my life. I am in charge.” Yes, in charge of my hopeless anger.

The solution was to give it up, to stop being in charge. Now, surrender doesn’t come easy to any of us. But in such battles such as this, real victory only comes through surrender. You can either be a slave to selfish ways or you can surrender to God’s leadership in your life. You can either insist on remaining the same, or you can be transformed. Over thirty years ago, I gave up a life of anger and bitterness. I gave up giving people a piece of my mind and chose instead to pursue peace of mind.

We are called to be peacemakers. Is there anything that stands in the way of living at peace with others in your life? God has the answer and the power to change that. Give it up to Him and find peace.

Postscript- A miserable cold instantly came upon me with a vengeance this afternoon (3/22); not a good thing with a compromised immune system. I appreciate your prayers that this not find a chink in my armor.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

Stop Striving

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One of my favorite stories is that of a young reporter who was sent on assignment to interview a local man who had turned 100 years old. The reporter, armed with questions, asked the old man, “So, to what do you attribute your living to be a hundred years? Did you exercise faithfully or commit to a healthy diet? Did you live cautiously to avoid danger or adventurously to keep you young?” The old man paused a moment replied simply, “Well, I’ve just tried not to argue with people.” The young man looked surprised, and said, “Surely, it must be more than that!” The old man smiled a bit and answered, “You know, maybe you’re right!”

There is a time for standing your ground for what is right. But how many times do we find ourselves ‘arguing’ or disagreeing with others for no good reason, over some detail that just doesn’t matter. Through 40 years of marriage, Marcia and I have learned to decrease this nonesense, but still sometimes find ourselves caught up in some senseless debate until one of us has the wisdom to end it with, “Maybe you’re right!”

Sometimes we strive with each other. Sometimes we strive with ourselves and God, which is okay. God welcomes any honest discussion with us. For example, I was talking with Him about my slow recovery from the last round of chemo. “You know God (as if He had somehow forgotten), this is the 70th day since I started chemo and it’s been 44 days since my last chemo ended. My body should be producing enough good blood cells by now so I wouldn’t need more transfusions. I should be getting better quicker so I could meet with more people.” You get the idea. It was mostly a one-sided discussion.

But at some point along the way, whether you are talking to yourself, others, or The Almighty Creator himself, it makes sense to stop striving. Stop striving to be right about something that ultimately either doesn’t matter or you have no control over, and instead find the peace that is available to you right now. Peace for you and for those around you.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18