Two years after my stem cell (bone marrow) transplant, I’m reflecting on how this journey has changed us. I say ‘us’ because if you are tightly connected to family or friends, you know that others share your journey and the caregiver bears a very large portion of the burden. It’s not just a cancer phenomenon. Name your battle, be it the death of a child, divorce, depression, chronic illness, or unresolved grief, few escape the path of suffering and sorrow. And so while I reflect on my journey through AML, feel free to adapt the reflections to your particular challenges.

 

Life altering events often come with no warning. One day everything is fine and suddenly your world is turned upside down. The prognosis of “12 weeks to live” quickly got my attention. There’s no room for denial. The focus was survival. The few options were evaluated and a treatment plan was quickly initiated. One month of chemo became two because the first chemo round didn’t knock out the cancer. Then after achieving remission, the aggressive nature of the cancer required a third round of heavier dose chemo followed by a stem cell transplant. What we didn’t realize is that surviving and enduring the transplant was to be a much tougher and longer battle than beating the cancer.

 

You know the fight to survive is not won by all.  But if you do find that you’ve survived whatever overwhelming ordeal you might ask if you will ever learn to thrive again.

 

Authors Sherri Magee and Kathy Scalzo describe four phases of transitioning from survival to living well*:

1. Recovering a sense of self
2. Recovering a sense of control
3. Recovering a sense of meaning
4. Recovering a sense of the future

 

The authors liken these as four ‘corner pieces’ of the recovery jigsaw puzzle. Understanding these helps us figure out how the other parts of recovery fit together to make us whole again. If you’ve gone through the valley of surviving a sudden life change you might be wondering, “Is there anything beyond mere survival?” The answer is ‘Yes.’ God intends for us not only to survive but to thrive, that is to live an abundant life. This doesn’t look the same for everyone. Getting “back to normal” may be an unrealistic goal, but there is a ‘new normal’ to be discovered. You may be creating a new picture, different from the one you thought you were putting together. And along the way you find that others hold some of the pieces to your puzzle and you hold some of the pieces to theirs.

 

It’s not an easy process, but it’s possible and it’s worth it. “My experience broke me down,” says transplant recipient Kristina. “But it also built me back up.” Perhaps it will help to spend time reflecting on the four ‘corner pieces’ of your own puzzle. As you do, remember that God isn’t ‘one of the pieces.’ He is the puzzle designer. Give Him all your broken pieces and let Him help you put them back together as you transition from surviving to thriving.

 
Tomorrow: The recovery of self
 
* “Picking Up the Pieces: Moving Forward After Surviving Cancer”