Tag Archives: trusting God

What’s NOT on the altar?

 

One of the things that gets in the way of trusting God in all situations is that we hold onto things we need to surrender. We cling to the evils we’ve lived with for so long – the negative thoughts, the false guilt, the lies that we have out-sinned God’s capacity to forgive. We’ve kept these at our side and played the tapes over and over in our mind for so long it seems impossible to let them go, even though God promises to replace them with his goodness, peace, assurance, and love.we cling to the evil we know rather than embrace the freedom of God’s goodness.

 

We also cling to good things that we treasure more than anything else including, if we’re honest, our relationship with God. Our actions say, “I will trust God as long as…” As long as he provides me with a good job, with the house I want, with good health and happiness, with close family and friends. The list goes on. What would you add?

 

We read in Genesis 22 the account of Abraham willing to sacrifice his only son on the altar. He was faced with a crisis of whether to trust and obey God    or to trust his emotions and self reasoning. Of course we know that he trusted God and God intervened by providing an alternate sacrifice. Abraham’s faith was rewarded. Faith means believing whatever we place on the altar will be blessed by God.

 

Maybe it’s time to put something on the altar. Job, income, kids, finding a spouse, happiness, friends, dreams… whatever stands between us trusting God partially and trusting him fully, with complete confidence that he will work good in our lives according to his purpose.

 

I remember praying for the kids. I’d say something like, “whatever it takes Lord, just draw my children to you. Just don’t make it too painful or too embarrassing,” I’d pray the same thing for myself, “Lord, create in me a pure heart. Rid me of this pervasive sin that I fight daily; just don’t cause me public ridicule or pain.”  Finally, I had to pray, “Whatever it takes, Lord.”

 

We’re conditioned to think that victory is of highest value. But there are some things that need to be surrendered before we can achieve real victory in life. Surrender is a matter of the will. It decides who has control of my life, me or God? Can I really trust God to direct my life or do I think I do a better job managing my own challenges? Surrender means asking “Am I going to go on letting my feelings and emotions lead me or am I going to really live by faith? Which engine is going to pull my train?

 

In my search, I’ve asked God, “What stands in the way between me and you?” Do I only trust you if things go according to my plan? Romans 14:8 tells me I can trust God whether I live or die. But what about that in between place where I am not fully living and thriving and yet not dead? Can I trust God for that too? I was recently talking with one of the overnight staff who commented about trusting God even though her dreams are not being realized. “And still I will praise you, my God” was her faith-filled response.”

 

Is is there something in your life that needs to be put on the altar and surrendered completely to God? Perhaps you’ll pray along with me:

Search me, God, and know my heart:
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

– Psalm 139:23-24

 

Disappointment or His appointment?

 

Disappointment? Or HIS appointment?

 

Today we learned that the second round of chemo did NOT get rid of the cancer blasts. I came in with 80+% blasts, got down to 7.8% blasts after round one, but still have 5% after round two.

 

It is a certain disappointment as we were sure we would get it all with this treatment. But as with all Disappointments, you change one letter and look at His appointments: the appointment that our sovereign and loving God has for us. If we aren’t to believe this we would have to take scissors to our bible and cut out all the promises of God that sometimes “seem” empty if we only look at the present circumstance.

 

God’s banner over us has been one of mercy and love throughout this difficult journey that has softened us, and made us more moldable to his will. It has brought my dear bride and I ever so much closer and given us such a greater appreciation of the attributes God has given each of us. I would never ever want to go through this without her. She has been my main medicine and a tremendous source of peace to me. She is strong but needs your prayers for this is a tough battle for her too.

 

What’s next: (as far we know)
My doctor is closely coordinating with my transplant doctor in Iowa City. I have been preapproved for a stem cell transplant evaluation and also the transplant itself. That is a huge relief because both would be unbearable if it were out of network. ($1/4 million) I have a wonderful dedicated Humana insurance nurse, Reagan, who is a believer and helps me negotiate all my insurance needs, and with prayer. (Thank you, dear God.)

 

I may or may not need more chemo which is a prayer concern because the cumulative effect of all this chemo on my body is very hard. To facilitate a quicker trip to the U of I, I might be released from Mercy before my immune system recovers. I will need to learn to give myself IV antibiotics at home for a number of weeks to make sure we triumph over this rare and dangerous blood infection. It’s possible I might return to Mercy for more treatment between my U of I consultation and the actual transplant.

 

Specific prayer concerns:
That the tremendous loss of liquid in my stools (5-6 liters per day) would stop, especially the loss of blood.
That the antibiotics succeed in vanquishing the blood infection because I have zero immune system.
That I continue to gain strength and fighter cells. I have none currently. I am so very weak and sick. For healing as we long to see more of the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. But we trust God for whatever he chooses.
That Marcia and I bring honor to God in this fight.
That Marcia will find continued peace and restorative strength throughout the ordeal.

 

Thank you for the much needed prayers. They release God’s power to cover our disappointment and look toward His appointment for our lives.

 

The Praise Effect

God has spoken quite a bit about anxiety and fear during my illness. Sometimes it seems I have given up my entire life, health, finances, and even much of my identity. But anxiety, which is basically a lack of trusting God, still creeps in. Sound familiar? We get anxious about relationships, finances, jobs, future direction, and so much more. I have learned much of what I need…I just need to apply it consistently in my life. If I worry or become anxious about things, I am doubting that God’s promises are true, or thinking that I can do better. I hate to admit this, but if I am honest with myself (Psalm 139:23-24), it comes to this:

Either I trust myself, or I trust my sovereign God.

Yesterday, we looked at the well-known passage of Philippians 4:6-7 which in summary says, don’t be anxious; always present your requests to God in prayer with thanksgiving. Thanksgiving when we are anxious? How does that make sense? Let’s have God answer that in His own Word:
“The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me.” Psalm 50:23
“Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of His works with songs of joy.” Ps. 107:22
“God inhabits the praise of His people.” Ps. 22:3
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3

What is so significant about God inhabiting our praise? We know that God is Holy and sin cannot exist in His presence. Worry and anxiety, IF we let it control us, is sin; it is telling God, “I don’t fully trust you.” When we praise God and thank Him for who He is and all He has done, we cannot also worry at the same time. If I could apply an image from my sanctified imagination, praise and thanksgiving are like a ‘force field’ against the things that war against our relationship with God. The ‘cure’ to anxious thoughts is praising and thanking God.

I find that one thing that really helps keep this in check and increases my daily trust, is to list everything for which I am thankful and tell them to God. Every day, at least ten specific things. And let every anxious thought be countered by thoughts of praise and thanks. It may be our greatest problem is not rebelliousness but thanklessness. God desires a sacrifice of thanksgiving and praise. And anxious thoughts find it nearly impossible to dwell in the company of these.

What are you thankful for today? Let it replace your fear and anxiety!

Great and Powerful

It is hard to imagine the fear that “the great and powerful Oz” struck in the minds of movie goers in this 1939 film. At first glance it seemed that Oz was indeed great and powerful what with the blazes of fire and clashes of thunder. But our mind easily conforms to movie trickery, and in the end, it was just a little man behind the curtain, wasn’t it? Nothing to fear in reality.

Our fears and anxieties are like that. They prey on our ability to imagine things that aren’t real. As a kid, I was able to imagine all sorts of ‘bogey men.’ As adults, it seems our imaginary monsters have been replaced with grown-up worries, still imaginary, yet frightful. Some are based on very real circumstances: a pile of bills and a small checking account, pain and sorrow that continue without abatement, soured relationships, failing health. But for the follower of Jesus, the question remains: “Whom do I trust?” If we say He is Lord and master of our life, then our problems come under His jurisdiction too. They don’t own us. If they did, THEY would be Lord, right? And we know we cannot serve two masters.

Unlike Dorothy in Oz, we don’t have to fight a wicked witch solely in our own power. And as important as a group of close friends is in our perilous journey, even they are not enough to defeat our foe. But there is within us, the Holy Spirit, all the power we need. The full authority of God the Father, His power and might, His holiness, His glory, His greatness, His unending love and amazing grace all rest within us. If we trust Him with our eternity, cannot we trust Him with our current life? And if we truly trust Him for all things, whom then shall we fear?

Our God is not a little man behind the curtain. He uses no trickery…He is who He says. If we can trust our Great and Powerful God with our eternal life, can we not trust Him today with every situation, real or imagined, that causes us fear and anxiety? It is a choice we make many times daily.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. Psalm 55:22