Tag Archives: waiting

The desires of your heart

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Do you find yourself pondering how “unfair” life is or growing tired of waiting for answers? Psalm 37 is a good read. It contrasts the ways of “evil” with those of “goodness.” And it speaks about the fulfillment of your greatest desires:

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (V 4)

 

What is it you most want? What does your heart really long for? Can these really be yours to enjoy? What’s “the catch?”

 

God does indeed offer us the desires of our heart WHEN:
We delight in him.
We commit our way to him.
We trust in him.
We wait patiently for him.
We stop worrying and fretting.
(Psalm 37:1-8)

 

We know what it means to delight in things. There’s that sense of pride of ownership and accomplishment when we attain something we’ve longed for. There’s the joy of beholding and enjoying the fruits of our labors. There’s the sense of strength and satisfaction that all is well when we are safe, comfortable, and surrounded by friends.

 

Can your delight in the Lord compete with all this? Could, would, and do you delight in the Lord in the absence of all this? When the total of all you’ve lost seems to outweigh all that remains, does your delight in the Lord shift the balance to the delight in his goodness?

 

Delighting in the Lord comes from knowing for sure in whom we have believed and being fully persuaded that he will keep that which we’ve committed to him until the last day (2 Timothy 2:12). We always obey what we’re fully persuaded to believe. If we don’t follow the Lord, it’s because we aren’t fully persuaded it’s worth the cost or the effort. If we do follow him, it’s because we know that all the suffering, loss, sorrow, and hardship is worth it in the end; that his promises are both true and fulfilling. Who can’t commit to such a promise?

 

Delighting in the Lord comes from trusting in him, confident he will accomplish what he desires in us, that he will complete what he has begun. Maybe it’s hard for you to trust God when there are so many unanswered prayers. But trusting comes from being still before our great God and waiting patiently for him to reveal his plan and his blessings. We can’t delight in the Lord when we worry and fret about our circumstances because worry is the opposite of trust. Worry leads to regret and regret feeds bitterness; bitterness leads to anger and anger to wrath and all kinds of evil. And none of this leads to peace.

 

Isn’t peace the greatest desire of your heart? Peace with yourself. Peace with others. Peace from your struggle to be well. Peace to enjoy life. Peace to understand and fulfill your purpose in life. Peace with God, the fulfillment of our deepest desire, to know him more and to fully enjoy his presence.

 

Delight today in God’s generous love, his amazing grace, his tender mercy, his awesome power, his faithful promise, his perfect plan, his patience in long suffering, his lasting goodness, his endless joy, his offer to bring you into his family, and his eternal inheritance. Grow your delight in the Lord by committing, by trusting, by being quiet before him, by waiting patiently, by giving thanks often, and by resting in his presence.

 

And in your moments of meekness and delight, enjoy great peace from all your struggles!

 

Whom then shall I fear?

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The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear. The Lord is the stronghold of my life.of whom shall I be afraid? psalm 27:1

 

David certainly didn’t lack for woes and reasons to fear. Anointed as King but not yet crowned, he was besought by enemies intent on killing him. And what does he do? He turns to God, the stronghold and fortress of his life. And in this security, he asks, “Whom shall I fear? Of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1-2

 

Most of us in the western world don’t face such violent persecution. But we do face enemies, don’t we? Our foes may be of our own doing, thought patterns that lead us away from God’s stronghold and into pits of despair and fear. Careless words or neglectful actions and apathy may cause relational division among the body of believers. The good news is that we can control our own thoughts and actions by consistently and repeatedly submitting them to God.

 

But what about enemies that aren’t of our doing? Chronic physical pain may come against us and wreak havoc with our bodies and soul. A spirit of depression may weigh heavily upon us. We ask God to search our hearts and see if there be anything we need to submit to Him. We pray for grace and deliverance. We wait. And we wait. Sometimes we wait for years, decades, or a lifetime.

 

I think of Marci’s debilitating migraines and her nearly forty years of suffering and waiting for relief. I think of her pain, a lifetime of not being able to work, time away from family, and of the medicines and hospitalizations. But I also remember her indomitable spirit that pressed on in the way Paul describes in Philippians 3. I remember how she would close the blinds and lie down, then get up, then lie down, then get up again. It’s true, a mother’s work is never done, even when Dad helps out; sometimes because Dad helps out. (Sigh)

 

I think back on those times with cancer when I wanted to toss in the towel. I knew God’s grace was sufficient and that His strength is perfected in my weakness. These truths were evident to me, but I didn’t always feel it during those moments of terror. I felt like some days it was a fight to not let my feelings overwhelm me. I knew God was my stronghold and yet it was like the bombs kept exploding around and within me.

 

What do you do when this happens to you? David asked one thing of God: that he may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of his life. If only he could live in God’s presence he was confident that he would see God’s goodness here on earth…if he just take heart and wait on the Lord. (Ps. 27:4,13,14) I wonder how many times he prayed that prayer?

 

There is a transcendent peace that falls upon the believer who turns to God. It doesn’t always dispel the pain but being in God’s presence makes it bearable.

 

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

 

 

Dealing with frustration

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It frustrates me to admit this but I sometimes still get frustrated, especially when I have to wait. How about you? The tell-tale sign is getting frustrated over small stuff that doesn’t really matter. But the big stuff especially causes us angst too, doesn’t it? Maybe it is an answer to prayer for a quicker recovery, a process to go more smoothly, a problem to be solved, or a conflict to be resolved. It is a challenge to be patient when it seems it has taken ‘long enough,’ isn’t it?

I tend to view infections and extreme weak days as setbacks and reminders of my vulnerability. I tell myself three infections in the last five months is worse than zero in the first 8 months. Wrong thinking, I know. The fact that feelings of frustration arise is not the problem; it is of course what we CHOOSE TO DO with them.

You have your own list of frustrating moments, right? The thing is, you can probably tell me the answer to dealing with my frustrations as I can with yours. I have to remind myself (or Marcia does) “This is how this day goes. What should I be thankful for? God is still with me.” I may be surprised by the circumstance but He isn’t. Nothing can separate us from His love, not even this time of waiting. I just need to remain in the vine. (John 15) Apart from God, I can do nothing. With Him, all things are possible.

As I write this (primarily to myself) I find myself again surprised by how simple it is…and how complicated I can make it when putting it into practice. 🙂 I hope your day is filled with the grace of staying connected to God who calls you by name, who knows your situation. Rest in Him and watch the frustrations dissipate.

Waiting

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There is apparently is a lot of waiting with Leukemia treatment:
Waiting to complete first round of chemo – 7 days
Waiting for the chemo to finish it’s work – another 7-10 days
Waiting for your digestive system and energy to return – (unknown)
Waiting for the immune system to ‘start’ itself again -7 to 10 days+
Waiting for the bone marrow biopsy test results – couple days
*Repeat process as needed*

We are about ten days from learning whether the second round of chemo knocked the cancer down. The goal at this point is simply remission. There will be more waiting to determine next treatment steps if/when remission is achieved by this attempt.

Today was one of those days when you walk across the room and lie back down. Then later there is enough energy to take a short walk. I got off unit privileges today so was able to get a breath of fresh air for the first time in 39 days. That was pretty special!

The Bible is filled with true stories of waiting. It seems a prerequisite for everything good. And we don’t need to worry because the Bible is a manual for practical living by faith. I think some of the best instructions the Bible gives is to keep on believing and to put that faith to work; to set yourself apart from the way the rest of the world responds to things (worry, fear, speculation); and to seek the peace that Jesus offers in the middle of any storm.

If you have to wait for something, it seems that holding on to your faith is an essential strategy. What do you think?

“Fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck in regard to their faith.”
1 Timothy 1:18b-19

Waiting

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Day 27
We continue to wait for results of two of the three components to the bone marrow test they did on Monday. This news will give us the first clue about what lies ahead with my particular situation.

As everyone knows by personal experience, waiting often seems harder than actually getting the news. But Nurse Ashley brings perspective by reminding me that my weakest day (today) is better than most patients’ best days. Clearly, without a doubt, when I am weak it is GOD who strengthens sustains me by faith and grace. When I am down, it is HIS joy that I can extend to others. Quite honestly, it perturbs me to find myself frustrated at little things that shouldn’t hold any part of my attention. But even when my eyes fall off the goal momentarily, God is always faithful to draw me back.

While currently serving also to update people about my Leukemia, this blog is NOT about us. It is a tribute to our faithful God who no matter where we go, is always ready and waiting to welcome us with open arms. That is the purpose of Go Light Your World, to spread the good news that there is power and hope for living in a troubled world. It serves to remind others:

“You were created for a specific purpose. You are not alone.
God has a great plan for you. There is hope.”

Bringing the light of Jesus into a dark world is the greatest adventure you will find in a lifetime. Go Light Your World.