During a recent ‘on the spot interview’ my wife and I were asked, “What advice would you give to someone considering marriage?” My wife quickly responded that you have to be willing to forgive, sometimes repeatedly; that marriage is a 100/100, not a 50/50 deal. (Hmm, I wonder why THAT came to her mind right away?)
Of course, she’s right. Marriage, and all close relationships, requires repeated forgiveness. You’ve been in this situation, haven’t you? You said or did something or you DID’NT say or do something that ended up hurting someone else.
Forgiveness is not only vital to the health of a marriage, it is essential to genuinely following Jesus. He not only talked the talk, He walked it too! In Matthew 6, He gives us an example of how to pray. We call it The Lord’s Prayer.
“And forgive us our debts (sins), as we also have forgiven our debtors (those who sin against us)” V12
To emphasize His point He quickly adds a promise and a warning:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Vs 14-15
Later…
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22
So to keep on the right side of things all we have to do is run the math, 7 X 70, and forgive someone up to 490 times, right? After that we can write the transgressor off and say, “No more buddy! I’m done with you!” Actually, that wasn’t what Jesus was saying at all. Rather, He was saying that forgiveness, like loving and believing, is an ongoing process that we keep on repeating. It has no end. It becomes who we are.
Whoa, you might be thinking no one deserves that many chances! From a human perspective, I might agree…EXCEPT, when I consider how many times I’VE had to come to God asking forgiveness for MY sins. How about you? Talking about running the math, what if you and I sin only once a day; 365 times a year? I don’t know about you but that’s a pretty low estimation for me! Over 10 years, that is 3,650 times; over 20 years, 7,300 times; over 40 years, 14,600 times.
But the point isn’t the number of times we sin or ask forgiveness. The real understanding of these passages is that forgiveness is a continuous and integral part of being like Jesus. In fact, if we choose to NOT forgive someone, we are really choosing to NOT be like Jesus. To disobey Jesus is to set ourselves up as the Lord of our life. I know how that isn’t working well for me…how about you? Ask God to search your heart and reveal where forgiveness is needed. Then clear the path for restoration in your life.
