In the field of stress management studies, there used to be much emphasis on the large stressors of life: death of a loved one, serious illness, divorce, job loss, a big move. And for sure, these major life events do act as significant stressors in our lives. They place huge demands on us to change our way of thinking, adapting, and responding to our place in the world around us. They test the link between body, mind and spirit. They may cause us to seriously examine our identity and purpose in life.
But there is another category of stressors that may affect us more in the long run: little everyday stressors that build up over time with little or no relief.
You’re late to work and can’t find your keys. You spill coffee on your shirt. You hurriedly change clothes and head to work. The person ahead of you decides it is a beautiful day to drive 5 MPH under the speed limit and you hit every red light. You get to work and three people have a crisis they think needs your immediate attention. Meanwhile, you have your own workload that has piled up. Extra appointments cause you to miss lunch. Well, you get the picture.
What is your typical response to these small irritations? Typically we tense our muscles, utter words of despair or frustration, frown, or take out our frustration on others. Like a contagious disease, our negative response to little stressors have no healthy way of being released and so instead infect the rest of our activities, our thoughts, and our interactions with others. Instead of taking these to God so we can experience his peace and his release from negative stress, we let the small stressors build up. It becomes like a snowball rolling down a hill gathering up everything in its path, getting larger and more destructive the further it rolls.
What healthy alternative do we have? First, we can recognize the destructive force small stressors have on our thoughts, actions, interactions, and bodies. Unresolved stress robs us of seconds off our life. And they steal our joy and make us sick. Second, we can create a space between the stressors and our response. We can choose to take a slow breath, breathing in the peace of God and exhaling with forgiving ourselves for getting so upset at something so trivial. Third, we can give thanks, letting this little interruption remind us how fleeting life is, and how many truly great things there are worthy of our attention, our passion, and our energy. We have only so much energy. Do we really want to waste it on the small stuff?
‘Gotta go now and make sure MY day reflects this truth too!
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another… And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:12,14 ESV
So true…I am sometimes surprised by my response to “a little rhing”…like, where did that come from. Reminds me of the sponge analogy…what comes out of us when we are “squeezed” is what we have been soaking in.
I had forgotten that analogy. Thanks for the good reminder!
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