Disappointment? Or HIS appointment?
Today we learned that the second round of chemo did NOT get rid of the cancer blasts. I came in with 80+% blasts, got down to 7.8% blasts after round one, but still have 5% after round two.
It is a certain disappointment as we were sure we would get it all with this treatment. But as with all Disappointments, you change one letter and look at His appointments: the appointment that our sovereign and loving God has for us. If we aren’t to believe this we would have to take scissors to our bible and cut out all the promises of God that sometimes “seem” empty if we only look at the present circumstance.
God’s banner over us has been one of mercy and love throughout this difficult journey that has softened us, and made us more moldable to his will. It has brought my dear bride and I ever so much closer and given us such a greater appreciation of the attributes God has given each of us. I would never ever want to go through this without her. She has been my main medicine and a tremendous source of peace to me. She is strong but needs your prayers for this is a tough battle for her too.
What’s next: (as far we know)
My doctor is closely coordinating with my transplant doctor in Iowa City. I have been preapproved for a stem cell transplant evaluation and also the transplant itself. That is a huge relief because both would be unbearable if it were out of network. ($1/4 million) I have a wonderful dedicated Humana insurance nurse, Reagan, who is a believer and helps me negotiate all my insurance needs, and with prayer. (Thank you, dear God.)
I may or may not need more chemo which is a prayer concern because the cumulative effect of all this chemo on my body is very hard. To facilitate a quicker trip to the U of I, I might be released from Mercy before my immune system recovers. I will need to learn to give myself IV antibiotics at home for a number of weeks to make sure we triumph over this rare and dangerous blood infection. It’s possible I might return to Mercy for more treatment between my U of I consultation and the actual transplant.
Specific prayer concerns:
That the tremendous loss of liquid in my stools (5-6 liters per day) would stop, especially the loss of blood.
That the antibiotics succeed in vanquishing the blood infection because I have zero immune system.
That I continue to gain strength and fighter cells. I have none currently. I am so very weak and sick. For healing as we long to see more of the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. But we trust God for whatever he chooses.
That Marcia and I bring honor to God in this fight.
That Marcia will find continued peace and restorative strength throughout the ordeal.
Thank you for the much needed prayers. They release God’s power to cover our disappointment and look toward His appointment for our lives.