This post is for those who follow this blog while traveling your own cancer journey. Each person’s journey is unique but there are commonalities that cross different illnesses.

At 11 months post AML diagnosis and 7 months post stem cell transplant, the daily routine continues to be preoccupied with avoiding infection and staying healthy to what small degree of control there is over that. There is a lot of hand-washing and everything is done mindful of potential infection. Without being germophobic, you are aware that one infection can be a game changer for an immune-suppressed body.

One challenging aspect is maintaining a rigid routine of meals, snacks, medications, exercise, rest, and daily injections. This schedule increasingly governs the activities of the day. (You eat when it is time to eat, not when you are hungry.) Some of this may decrease if the drug-induced diabetes and DVT/blood clot treatment is resolved. Weekly and biweekly medical appointments and lab tests add to this regiment. So in one sense, you find yourself medically retired but with a new full-time ‘job’ caring for yourself.

Perhaps it is a blessing that nothing stays the same. Each pain has its season and then surrenders to something new. Changing medications present both different solutions and side effects. Some affect the body, some affect the mind and emotions. It requires a lot of patience and perseverance from both patient and care giver. Emotions sometimes unexplainably present themselves. Sometimes the day is full of color; and other times more gray, and you find there is only so much control over this. Several months later, you find yourself still beat up by cancer and chemo, and still recovering from the welcomed ‘invasion’ of a new graft immune system. The body is not only under chemical and physical attack but spiritual attack too.

You may also experience an overwhelming sense of vulnerability. This unexpected leukemia-induced blood clot is an example of a small unavoidable event that reminds you of the fragility of life. When I celebrate how well I am doing, my medical team regularly reminds me of this ongoing vulnerability. It poses a challenge for living each day well and fully, with sober thanks for the opportunities each day gives to enjoy the grace God gives us.

The good news in all this is that we are not slaves to our condition. Walking in faith is a matter of willfully choosing to believe that which you know is true, but just cannot see, or experience. Your emotions may be those of unexplainable yet pervasive sadness, or disappointment. But the spiritual reality is that we are not slaves to our emotions. The physical challenges may be extensive, but we are not slaves to our pain. Relationally you may feel alone in the journey, but the reality is that others’ prayers are lifting you up and that God will never leave you.

Experience the spiritual reality that overcomes your physical and mental perception. Let God’s presence guide each step of the journey.