Brother Bruce returned from another photo journey last week to capture a moment in our own unexpected journey. I like this image with the angular lines in the Leukemia quilt behind us. Several of them have names and short sentiments, hopes and dreams written on them. The sharp angles seem to emphasize the sudden turns in our lives and stand at contrast with the softer, gentler character that is often at work in times like these. Our gaze speaks to a great love that continues to grow through so many years, joys, and adversities.

Marcia and I have been married for over forty years. We were best friends and then childhood sweethearts for five years before our wedding. We have grown close over the years, some years better than others, but all good, especially once we learned to stop striving with each other. Ever since our first wedding anniversary it has been our tradition to remember the highlights of that year AND each previous year. At some point, celebrations became so numerous we had to switch to decades of memories. On our fortieth anniversary we reflected on the most inspiring people, places and events in our lives.

We’ve had our days making one month plans in the event that the transplant doesn’t take or infection takes its toll. This seems prudent for ALL of us; no one has a guarantee for tomorrow. But we are also making plans for how we want to spend the next 20+ years of our lives, living gently with each other and those around us, here and hopefully in Bolivia and wherever God sends us.

This is one of several blessings that we have unpacked from the package of cancer. It has drawn us each closer to God, and also closer to each other. Really good marriages can get better yet! A large influence on this is learning to pay better attention to each other. In the movie Shall We Dance, Susan Sarandon’s character Beverley makes a poignant observation: “Why do you think people get married? Passion? No. There’s a billion people on the planet. I mean, what does any one life mean? But in a marriage, you are promising to care about everything – the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things. All of it. All the time, every day. You’re saying, “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.”

We have opportunity to express this same gentle spirit that Jesus gives us to share to others around us. A marathon runner down the hall from me is courageously walking the halls to build strength after being hit with Leukemia. Life is fragile. Practice the art of living it gently.

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Philippians 4:5