Do you like to give gifts? Most of us do. We give gifts to commemorate special days and sometimes for “no special reason” at all. We love to see the expressions of appreciation when people open our gifts. They become part of the gift experience. They make the gift complete.
But what about when your gift isn’t accepted? When it’s not up to par? Author Gary Chapman proposes that we are each wired to receive and express love according to our “love languages”: physical gifts, acts of service, spending quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. You may give physical gifts but it doesn’t hit the spot because what the recipient really wants is quality time with you. You work hard to express your love through acts of service but they really long to hear words of affirmation and respect. Sometimes our gifts aren’t accepted because they don’t speak their “love language.”
For some people the size of the gift matters. But if the gift is sincere and the recipient really values the giver, size doesn’t matter. The poor widow put a tiny coin in the offering, yet Jesus said she gave more than the others who were rich. She gave out of her poverty while they gave from their excess.
We give from what we have. But have you ever wondered why didn’t God accept Cain’s offering? Why was Abel’s offering considered “more excellent?” Was it the quality of Cain’s gift or the condition of his heart that made the gift unpleasing?
If the heart gives out of obligation instead of joy, the gift may remain unaccepted. Imagine your loved one showing up on your anniversary and throwing a bouquet of flowers in your lap saying, “Here is your anniversary gift. It’s my obligation to give you this.” (Yikes!) Now imagine one who stands before you with an offering of flowers saying, “Happy anniversary. It makes me happy to bring you things. In fact, I think it brings me more delight to spend this night with you than anyone I might. I cannot think of any way I’d rather celebrate this day than satisfying my desire with one that I so much admire.” (John Piper speaking to his wife; excerpt from Desiring God)
Wow. What a difference! In one scene the focus is on the gift. In the other, the focus is on the relationship between the giver and the recipient. In fact, the gift becomes completely incidental to what is happening between the two lovers.
Don’t you suppose that’s how God sees our gifts and “sacrifices?”
“I despise your religious festivals; your assemblies are a stench to me. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps.” Amos 5:21-23
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” Psalm 51:17
“For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.” Hosea 6:6
“Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name. And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Hebrews 13:15-16
You can offer your talents. You can offer your time. You can build magnificent church buildings and write endless books attributed to his greatness. You can speak God’s name continually and fill your agenda with good deeds. You can offer to serve him in foreign lands or in the streets of your home town. You can offer him your very life, your health, and your next breath. But is it what God most wants?
Gifts and deeds are important, but not always the greatest expression of our love. What if what God really desires is your complete joy in spending time with him? In delighting in his presence? In meditating on His Word which is his love letter to you?
Our love is not reflected just in a gift. It is reflected in the eyes of the one who receives the gift, the eyes that behold the heart of the giver. Ah, may THIS be the gift we bring today!
