Monthly Archives: June 2013

Good Reason To Worry?

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What part does worry play in your life? Do you find yourself easily made anxious by the littlest of things? Does the question, “What if?” easily dominate your thoughts? True, we all want to know “why” a certain difficulty comes into our life, and if possible we are eager to get rid of it. But worry will only make the problem worse, not better.

Lately, my days are characterized by extreme fatigue (with frequent naps) and unregulated body temperature. I am very cold, then very hot, then very cold again; to the point of wearing five layers of clothes and sitting in front of a heater to  peeling them off for a minute or two and repeating the process. A friend told me today that God is giving me insight into the plight of menopausal women. That could well be because trials do have a way of empathizing with others, but this seems rather debilitating. But the lesson learned through this Leukemia journey is that some things just take time to fix and there is nothing I can do to make it go quicker. We can’t ignore the reality of our trying situations, but we always have the choice of how we respond to them.

And so I need to go first to God with this and other struggles. Is this something He wants to take care of or is there something I need to do (for example, pay more attention to my hydration and eating)? If there is nothing I can do, then worry has no place in the matter. It isn’t of any use to me; in fact worry works against me.

Worry pulls continuously at a loose thread in your garment of faith until it is rendered quite useless.  Worry is a form of unbelief and doesn’t live in the same reality of faith. Furthermore, if we who are believers in The Risen Christ are characterized by a life of worry, we have good reason to question the reality and power of our faith and the impact on others. (Who would want a faith like that?)

Author Sarah Young asks, “Who is in charge of your life? If you are in charge you have good reason to worry. But if it is (God), then worry is both unnecessary and counterproductive. “The key is to slow down the moment you feel anxious, be still, and redirect your focus to the One who made you, who understands your situation.  “(He) will either take care of the problem or show you how to handle it.” (Young)

You don’t have to live a life of worry. You can choose peace instead.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (Jesus speaking) John 16:33

Overcoming Adversity

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What adversities and challenges have weighed you down and yet you were able to overcome?

  • Were you abandoned at the age of three?
  • Beaten since you were five?
  • Sold into slavery?
  • Have you been homeless?

These trials make up the past of a South Korean young man, Sung Bong Choi. His story is one of the power of an indomitable will. Pushed down on every side, he sought solace through listening to music and in singing while working as a manual laborer. In this video clip from the 2011 Korea’s Got Talent show he stuns the judges with his premiere performance and story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ46Ot4_lLo

I don’t know what will happen to this young man now that he has achieved ‘success.’  Will he maintain his sense of humility and devote his life to helping others who suffered as he did? There are so many choices before him now.

I think it is rare that willpower alone would achieve such a transformation. I know there have been times in my life when willpower alone was simply not sufficient for the transformation I needed. God alone was able to raise me out of the depths of my situation. But then, our individual will, the ability to choose, is a valued gift of God. We are not the masters of our own destiny, but we can choose to follow the One who IS the master. And even if we choose to reject Him, He still gives us this precious gift of will to effect powerful change, for the good or bad. What choices will you make throughout today that allow you to rise above your struggles?

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” Ephesians 6:10

Living Life In the Past

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One of our favorite parodies of all time is The Princess Bride which features the character Inigo Montoya. When Montoya was a lad his father, a fine sword craftsman, was killed by the evil Count Rugen who refused to pay the already agreed upon price for a fine sword. And so, Montoya devoted his entire life to the pursuit of swordsmanship and on taking revenge on this evil man. The bitterness and hatred he felt fueled itself, growing larger and larger until it consumed his every breathing moment…every moment of course, when he wasn’t in a despair-induced drunken stupor.

Eventually, after many years, Montoya was able to execute his revenge, challenge the murderer to a duel, and complete his life long ambition of achieving revenge. But he was left with a sense of disappointment and lack of purpose. He comments reflectively to Wesley, ‘You know, [it’s very strange], I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.’

Does that story resonate with you? Have you devoted part, or maybe all, of your life to feeling you aren’t good enough, or to being envious of others or regretful or something you did or something done to you? Have anger, bitterness, hatred, taken up residence in your heart because of something that happened in the past? And now it is affecting both your present life and threatening your future? Are your past hurts keeping your candle from burning brightly? Our past has some influence in shaping how we got to where we are, but it doesn’t have to decide our future. You are free to make a choice to bury the past; let it go. It will not be solved. But your future path, ah that is something for you to decide . . . today. Put on compassion, kindness, humility…and beyond all these things, put on love.

“And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15

Finding Balance – Big Rocks

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Work. Family. Home. Physical and spiritual health. Household chores. Taking care of others. Taking care of yourself. Shopping. Paying bills. Time for prayer and meditation. Time for helping others. How do you find balance in your life?

In his book, First Things First, Steven Covey shared the story of The Big Rocks. He tells of an expert who addressed a class of business students, using a visual illustration that conveys an important life lesson for all of us. Taking a one-gallon wide-mouthed canning jar, he placed in it a dozen or so fist sized rocks, asking the students if the jar is full. Most of the class said, “Yes!”

He then pulled out a bucket of gravel and dumped most of the contents into the jar, shaking it until the gravel filled the empty spaces between the big rocks. “Is the jar full now?” he asked the class, to which they replied, “Probably not.”

Pulling out a bucket of sand, he proceeded to pour it in, allowing the sand to fill the spaces between the gravel and the big rocks. “Is it full now?” he asked. “No!” came the reply of the students.

Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and poured it in until the jar was filled all the way to the top. “What is the point of this illustration?” he asked the group of over-achievers. One student replied, “The point is that no matter how full your schedule is you can always fit more things into it.” “No,” replied the expert. “The truth of this illustration is that if you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them all in at all.”

What are the big rocks in your life? A special work or house project? Vacation plans? Your favorite hobbies? Or do the big rocks represent time for your faith, your family, and friends? Do you have a world view that is bigger than your own life? Whatever your big rocks are, be sure to put those first in your agenda, or you likely will not get to them at all.

Ephesians 5:15-16
Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

A Reflection on Six Months with Leukemia

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Six months ago today I received an 8:00 a.m. phone call from my hematologist. His conversation opened with three words: “You have Leukemia.” I remember thinking that couldn’t be but Leukemia it was, and later revealed to be the 12th diagnosis of this particular form of Leukemia in the world, meaning we were entering unknown territory.

What followed in this unexpected journey was an adventure I would not have chosen, but also one which would reveal truths and blessings I could not have discovered on any other path. Through the various pains that come with treatment of this rare chromosomal condition, I achieved first remission of the cancer at the end of January (Four months cancer-free now!).

In March, I made the toughest decision of my life. After challenging the doctors on every front, I was finally convinced that even though I was in remission, this particular cancer was so aggressive that it would most certainly return unless I had a stem cell transplant, which required a higher dose and level of chemo drugs which would also bring about my greater challenges. And so Galatians 2:20 has become very personal to me (“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”) I had to completely kill my immune system and my DNA before I knew if the donor cells would successfully engraft in my body. While aware of the spiritual implications of a born again believer being such an imperfect host for the Spirit of Christ, I now had to face the reality of being a completely vulnerable host to my donor’s new cells. Where I had surrendered (oh so imperfectly) my identity to Jesus, I was now surrendering my DNA identity and very physical survival to this new donor process.

There are no guarantees but two months later, the process seems to be going exceptionally well. Yes, one infection can set it all back; even become an end-of-game scenario. But we sincerely believe –and are planning on – continuing the ministry God will grant us for other twenty or more years, including a delayed return to Bolivia for full-time missions.

It’s been a hard enough battle and one I would not want to repeat, though probably mild in comparison to some other’s struggles. But I have come to be thankful for the cancer that has brought me to experience the powerful truths of God’s Word. What I accepted in faith before has been tested and found to be true in very practical ways:

  • His grace IS sufficient for me.
  • His strength IS revealed in my weakness.
  • His mercy IS new every single morning.
  • His presence in me IS able to calm me even as the storm rages within me.
  • I CAN overcome the challenges of life if I am truly a new creation.

TODAY can be different. You don’t have to have a major life crisis to change your path and pursue a full and meaningful life. What challenges are you ready to turn over to God, once and for all and pursue a relationship with Him that allows you to trust Him more?

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come; The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Two Month Progress Report

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It’s hard to believe that it has already been two months since my stem cell transplant. In many ways God has blessed me to be way ahead of the curve. For example, the engraftment of my donor cells took place in one month versus the expected three. I have had comparatively quite a bit of energy and few significant issues. A low grade fever last night was quickly resolved, indicating to me that the donor cells are doing their job and also reminding me how important it is for me to continue precautions, especially during this first 100 days. I am able to get out into the community with a mask, while avoiding large crowds. I miss being at church and hope to return as my immunity allows me to be around larger groups of people. I am able to visit with healthy people. In fact, even though visits sometimes tire me, they also pump me up, so the overall effect is a positive gain. This Leukemia experience has revealed to me how lonely chronic illness can be and causes me to reflect on how sensitive I have or have not been to others’ needs when they were ill. I need to do better.

Going off the steroid has led me from mania to extreme fatigue. (I can’t believe I needed two naps today) and the skin burns are getting old. Mental acuity is a bit improved, allowing me focus on budget and project planning for an hour or so at a time. Even though you cannot ignore challenges like this, you can rise above them. my brother’s wisdom has helped me quite a bit:

We can’t focus on what’s been taken away. We have to focus on what we have been given.

This has been very applicable in our situation where health, freedom, job/income, abilities were all taken away at once. But what we have been given is a closer relationship with each other and with God, a greater sensitivity to our real identity in Christ and to others, and time to heal and to minister to those around us.

Focusing on what’s been taken away brings despair and regret. Focusing on what God has given us brings hope, thanksgiving and joy…and a renewed passion for living fully for Jesus.

What things have been taken away from you that have captivated too much of your attention? Focus instead on the things you have been given and find the joy and peace that come with cultivating a thankful heart throughout each day.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

Is It Worth It?

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Ann Graham Lotz recently reflected on a life of obedience, asking rhetorically for each of us, “Is it worth it?” While some of the questions are directed specifically to Christians, others are for everyone who wants to live a full and meaningful life (my thoughts added):

Is it worth getting up early to pray for others? Those you care about and those you don’t even know? (How grateful Marcia and I for individuals and entire churches around the country who have prayed diligently for us during this past six months walk with Leukemia.)

Is it worth it worth it to tell the truth, when lying would get you a promotion or pay raise? Is it worth it to tell the truth, with grace to a friend, when being silent seems so much easier?

Is it worth it to be honest with your income taxes even if it means paying more taxes?

Is it worth it to get involved with the homeless, the hopeless, or the helpless when you can be more comfortable at home?

Is it worth it to read God’s Word every day and apply it to your life? How about trying one book, e.g. The Gospel of John?

Is it worth it to deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Jesus? Is it worth it to really examine who Jesus really is and how he is reflected in your life?

Is it worth it to share the Gospel with a friend?

Is it worth it to get up early and go to church with other imperfect people?

Is it worth it to live a life of obedience to God’s Word, surrendered to His will, and walking in His way, when the entire world seems to be going in the opposite direction?

Is it worth it to live a godly life and become a member of the minority?

In the book of Revelation, John proclaims:
Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they were saying:
“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!”
Revelation 5:11-12

Is it worth it? Yes. Because Jesus is worth it!

The Refiner’s Fire

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There is a certain tension between suffering and comfort. The Bible often associates suffering with fire that either destroys everything in its path or fire that refines and purifies. One we should avoid at all costs; the other produces something good, though through a painful process that might cause us to question our identity, our future, our source of strength and hope, perhaps even our very life. Let me tell you the story of the refiner’s fire that speaks to this ‘good’ kind of suffering:

A young man happened upon a silversmith who refined silver and gold from raw materials, sitting in front of his fire. “Why do you heat the metal?” he asked?

The Refiner answered, “In order to make precious silver I have to remove all the impurities that make it worth less than it really is.” The young man thought about his own life and how one time of fiery suffering or another was required to remove some of the ‘junk’ in his own life.

“Why do you sit while you work?” inquired the visitor?

The Refiner replied, “I have to watch the fire closely. Too little heat and the impurities will not be removed; too much heat and the precious metal will be destroyed and made worthless.” The young man reflected how his life of comfort had brought a sense of complacency that led him to abandon his dreams, settling instead for a humdrum life. But he had also come through painful fiery times with character and strength that he would not have found elsewhere.

Then the young man asked The Refiner, “How do you know when the silver is at the right temperature?”

The Refiner smiled and answered, “I know the purifying is complete when I can see my reflection in the silver.” The young man marveled at the answer thinking, “That is true in my life. My own fiery trials were only complete when My Refiner’s image could be seen in me.”

The young man left contemplating the aspects of his life still needing to transformed by The Refiner: his own selfish desires, ambitions, and time-wasting activities; his tendency to quickly judge others or believe a lie that he never really examined. And he gave thanks to God who is the only one able to free him from these impurities and transform him into the likeness of Jesus.

Of course, you don’t have to go through fiery trials to rid yourself of impurities that cheapen life’s value. You can identify these and hand them over to God – completely – resolved to let them become a part of your past, not your future. Or you can see what will power and determination accomplishes. Live a life of unsurpassing value, no matter how much heat is required to bring about refinement. You – and those you love – are worth it!

“I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. . .But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire. . . . He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.
Malachi 3:1-3 (abridged)

His Suffering – Our Comfort?

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In one of the early scenes of the 1953 film, I Beheld His Glory, the Roman Centurion who was so moved by the brutal torture and crucifixion of Jesus meets with others to tell them the news.

Centurion: Jesus was crucified.
Others: No! Tell us everything.
Centurion: (inviting them to a sitting area) Alright. Shall we make ourselves comfortable?

It was a brief, poorly crafted line of script that makes an absurd leap from Jesus’ crucifixion to our comfort. I’m sure it wasn’t intended to convey any belief statement. But I wonder how often we make the same absurd leap when we acknowledge, even agree to follow Jesus…but then go on living ordinary lives in the pursuit of our personal comforts and pleasures, mindless of His presence.

I’m not advocating a return to sack cloth and ashes. But how should one life be lived in response to such a free gift of grace that Jesus offers? And especially with regard to the unspeakable price He had to pay to provide us with that gift?

Jesus came to pay a debt He didn’t owe because we owed a debt we couldn’t pay. But we do have a choice to make (many times) each day:

I can focus on the pursuit of my comfort and pleasure.
I can focus on the pursuit of His sustaining presence in my life.

He desires more than you can imagine to just spending time with you.

Shall we make ourselves comfortable?
Or shall we pursue the adventure to which we are called?
What changes do I need to make in my life in response to this?

“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps.”
1 Peter 2:21

A Life of Service and Love

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Today, we pay tribute to a special person who not only understands the mission of Go Light Your World, but who has lived it out long before we became an incorporated nonprofit ministry. There is simply no way I can capture all the acts of love and service this woman has shared with others. Her list seems to grow each year. We share this not only as a tribute to this woman but also as an encouragement to all of us to be more attentive to the needs of those around us. (This is one of my own personal lessons relearned through this walk with Leukemia.)

How can you Go Light Your World? Here’s how one special woman does it:

  • If you sincerely care about someone, then intentionally put on your calendar to visit them when they are lonely, unable to get out of their home, sick, in the hospital, etc. Yes, it may seem uncomfortable to you (though not our featured person!), but the joy and encouragement you bring will speak volumes long after you have left.
  • A plate of home-baked goods conveys a strong message of personal love that says, “This is from me for you, because I care for you.”
  • Nothing says “You’re important” like a hug or a hand on the shoulder.
  • Encourage people wherever you go…to the coffee shop, the grocery store, in the park. Accept others and find yourself interested in them.
  • Be a prayer warrior. A prayer warrior doesn’t just say, “I’ll pray for you.” She puts it on her daily agenda and follows through…sometimes for years.
  • The best vitamin for finding a friend is ‘B1’. Be a loving friend.
  • Volunteer to arrange and serve meals for funerals, illnesses, etc. Be a behind-the-scenes helper. Today’s featured person not only prepares food for the first hour at Green Square meals (for the homeless); then she serves the food with a smile during the second hour.
  • Be an ‘unofficial greeter’ wherever you go: church, the store, a favorite restaurant. Your smile and interest in others will spark others to be more aware of those around them.
  • Decide that loving others matters and take on the attitude that says,

“I ONLY DO WHAT I LOVE TO DO. (Love others)”
– Joyce Conley

HAPPY 84th Birthday Mom!

I love you and thank you Mom, for continuing to be a shining example of Go Light Your World and for teaching us by example how to live an adventurous life of purpose and passion.

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40

Joyce Conley

Joyce Conley

Joyce visits her friend June

Joyce visits her friend June


Joyce with the owners of V +G Ice Cream and Coffee Parlour 2013

Joyce with the owners of V +G Ice Cream and Coffee Parlour – Victoria and Guillermo

Mom With friend Jan Smith

Mom With friend Jan Smith