As a kid I was afraid of the dark, spiders, and heights. The first two don’t much bother me anymore. When Marcia and I first started dating (I was 15 or 16) I took her to the State Fair. Most fair rides make me dizzy but no young teen is going to admit this to his girl. So when she said she wanted to ride the double ferris wheel, I said sure, even though I was hoping more for the carousel…or the park bench. Now, in my mind the double ferris wheel, is a pure invention of evil. There is no practical reason a body should be thrust from three feet off the ground to, oh I think about a mile or two at what seems like 80 MPH. It might be a bit less than that but it is a high-speed, jerky ride no one should go on. But being in love, I was cool, calmly and through clenched teeth asking my dear to not shake the car while maintaining an iron clad grip on the one inch steel bar (you can probably still find my hand imprint today), you know, to make sure she didn’t fall through.
In my mind, I think I do a lot better now, but fears do have a way of grabbing us and not letting go, don’t they? Some fears are rational and others have no basis for existence. They are False Evidence Appearing Real; like when you thought there was a monster in the closet or spooks under your bed.
What do you fear? What False Evidence Appears Real to you? Evidently the fear of speaking in public still ranks high amongst top fears. Some people fear success so they never step up to a challenge. I’ve known some who feared talking with God because they couldn’t see him or wasn’t sure he would listen. (He will.) Some folk fear the future, imprisoned by teachings in their past.
Freedom in faith might be the opposite of slavery to doubt and fear. Faith isn’t just the absence of doubt and fear; faith is doing what you fear, trusting in the outcome. It is courage in the face of fear. I don’t know how this leukemia journey will end, any more than you know what unexpected turns you will face. But I believe in a good ending and this helps me break through fear.
Maybe it would be helpful to make a list of your fears, crossing out the ones based on false evidence. With the others, consider what God said to Joshua:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
You don’t have to live in the shadow of fear. Faith brings Light that casts out shadows. Be strong and courageous.
Put on faith and let your fears remain in the closet.