Tag Archives: rest

Beyond disappointment

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I was between chemo treatments and before my stem cell transplant. With a quite unsure future ahead of us, we purchased a prepaid vacation to make some memories while we had time together. Little did we know I wouldn’t be well enough to use it for two more years. But at last, the time came and we packed the car for the transcontinental journey. Unfortunately, as has happened with each attempt to get away, I became sick again mid-trip. It seems the spirit is indeed willing but the flesh is too weak.

 

Disappointment doesn’t begin to describe our emotions. Marcia had to drive much more than she is comfortable doing, making frequent stops for me. The pristine white sands and emerald-green waters of the Florida beaches would have to wait. Our time of fellowship and encouragement with our good friends from New Orleans was interrupted. Preparations were made for a possible out-of-state hospital admission (that thankfully was averted).

 

You’ve been there, right? Maybe not the same situation, but you can empathize with the frustration and disappointment, the sense of wasted opportunity and resources. Maybe you poured everything you had into preserving a relationship that didn’t work out. Maybe you prayed and prayed for a specific outcome that never arrived. Maybe you worked ever so diligently toward a lifetime goal only to have your efforts thwarted by some opposing force. You thought you had an appointment with fulfillment but it seems the road sign looming ahead of you reads, “Welcome to Disappointment Valley.” What now?

 

Maybe we should look at that road sign again. What’s that it says at the bottom?

 

“Don’t stay long!”

 

We can’t avoid disappointment. We elevate our hopes and expectations in anticipation of a coming reward. But what do we do when the storms of life wash away our dreams? It’s a natural response to be sad, frustrated, disappointed, maybe even angry. But don’t stay long in that place. It only adds to the disappointment. Instead of bemoaning the loss, look for what you have been given.

 

Even while seemingly trapped in the middle of Disappointment Valley there is a place to go. It isn’t filled with giddy laughter or outrageous joy. But it’s a lot better place than frustration will take us. This place is called rest.

 

Our weapons of anger, bitterness, or regret, only infuriate the battle of disappointment. Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) What do we find in that place of rest? We find the peace that knows the battle is not up to us to win. We find assurance resting in the arms of a mighty and faithful God that our battles are not the only ones, not even the most important ones. We find thankfulness in realizing that it could be worse, much worse. There is also thankfulness in the caring of others. In rest you will discover perseverance, perspective, solace, and hope.

 

When you’re in the Valley of Disappointment, don’t let your heart stay long. Find a place of rest.

 

 

Are you tired and weary?

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We live in a busy world. In fact, by the way we fill up our lives with so much activity, you would think our goal is a tombstone that reads, “Sure kept busy!” Of course, that is not our goal in life, but it is often our pursuit. All this activity, albeit sometimes necessary in some seasons of life, is tiring, isn’t it? It robs us of energy for contemplation, meditation, prayer – for drawing close to God…and each other.

 

Being a rather ‘Type A’ personality with a high metabolism, much of my life has been driven by goals and activities. “Idle hands are the devil’s playground,” I was taught. While there is some truth to that, the constant weariness of Leukemia has taught me that only idle hands can be offered to God when seeking His presence. “Stop striving. Be still and know that I am God,” He calls to us (Psalm 46:10). “Come to me all you who are weary, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)  The world tells us “no pain, no gain – push to the limit.” But Isaiah counsels us, “The Lord gives strength to the weary. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” (Isaiah 40:29-31)

 

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out? Give it a rest. Stop striving. Stop worrying. Give it up to God – again and again. Practice resting in His presence. Find His grace and rediscover your light.

 

The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.  Numbers 6:25-26

 

 

The Battle Within

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In the movie, A Knight’s Tale, “Sir William” tries to prove his love for the lady Jocelyn by winning all his tournament jousting matches. Jocelyn, knowing that William thrives off such success, demands that if he wants to prove his love for her, he must deny his own nature, and LOSE each match. The scene that follows is both humorous and inspiring.

I sometimes have to remind myself that my body is fighting the battle of/for its life, because other than being extremely tired, I have no real complaints. But this tiredness does wear on me, requiring a degree of rest that completely goes against my nature. Like “Sir William,” I am wired to be a ‘fighter.’ Let’s put on the armor and bring on this battle. I am not foolish enough to think I could ever do this alone. If God is not in the midst of the battle with me, it certainly won’t go well. But if He is, “Let’s do it!”

Last weekend I went through a tough physical battle in the middle of the night. With fever and chills and uncontrollable shaking for hours, I was praying all the ‘fighter’ scripture verses I had memorized. But there would be no relief until I finally landed on Matthew 11:28 where Jesus says, “Come to me all of you who are weary and I will give you rest.” Almost immediately my body started to calm and within the hour my fever broke.

I try to balance exercise, mental activity and rest as my body becomes weaker day by day. I think I should be on the slow path to restoration by now. But my body tells me the battle is not suited to the convenience of my schedule, reminding me that any perception of control in life is an illusion.

And so I am learning by experience what my heart has always known: we are called to be warriors of God, soldiers of the cross. But we must never forget that our inner nature is also to be that of a child who simply rests in the Heavenly Father’s loving arms.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He MAKES me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me besides the still waters. HE restores my soul.”