Category Archives: Leukemia/Cancer

Good news edition

Leave a reply

 

Ready for some good news? Day 73:
We have verbal approval that Pfizer Pharmaceutical will provide the medicine Bryan needs to fight this blood infection…for free! $5,000 per month. This is such a relief and the final thing on the discharge checklist.

 

Pain, though still constant seems to be decreasing a little in intensity.
Some of the nodules look like they are decreasing in size. The lesions are
healing nicely… Just a matter of time.

 

Looking for discharge Thurs or Fri, depending on the coordination Home Health care services and actually receiving the medicine.

 

Praise God in the tough times. Praise him again when the good news comes!

 

Thanks for your prayers.
Bryan and Marcia

Day 71 update

Leave a reply

 

The original skin lesions are healing nicely.

The painful nodules under the skin are NOT Sweet’s Syndrome. Docs think they are they remainder of the fusarium infection. The only treatment for these would compromise my immune system allowing the remaining cancer and the fusarium infection to expand. So we are waiting to see if the Voraconazole medicine will eventually dissolve these and relieve the pain.

 

The things affecting discharge next week are the funding for this expensive drug and my mobility. Walking is still painful and tiring but important to get the blood flowing and building strength.

 

Thankful for your prayers,

Bryan and Marcia Thayer

 

Day 63 Update – Thanksgiving

Leave a reply

 

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with friend and relatives. We have so VERY much for which to give thanks. Even on Day 63 at Mercy hospital, dealing more with the painful blood infection than the cancer, we celebrate:

  • My blood counts are rising or holding their own, which is necessary to fight this tenacious infection and become free of need for blood infusions.
  • No fevers!
  • About 12 of the worst skin lesions are starting to heal. (I don’t look so much like a wrapped mummy these days.)
  • I can stand on my own now and am slowly gaining strength walking short distances slowly with a walker and an aide.
  • I am off the antibiotics for the Rothia infection. They consider me cured of that unless I start developing fevers.
  • Partial Approval has been given for the prescription I need for my mold that costs $5000/month. They have approved $4,000. The case manager is seeking help for the other $1000. They will only approve one month and then I have to reapply since I need treatment for at least six more months.
  • Planning for discharge to home mid-late next week. (Have to resolve medicine assistance first.)

 

I’m also thankful for God using technology to extend his blessing. Marcos is a teen ambassador in our Bolivian Josias program. He lives in a poor family, goes to school, and works at a bookstore to help support his sisters and mom. Marcos managed to find me, 6,000 miles away, on Facebook Messenger. I asked how he was today. He replied not well. He had to stay home from school because he was sick. Knowing that many of these families suffer digestive problems due to lack of access to clean water and safe food, I asked if it was his stomach. When he confirmed this, I asked if he had any medicine. His sad reply was, “no money.” So I messaged Delia who coordinates the program and she was able to buy some medicine for this dedicated youth leader. This all happened in less than an hour. Thanks, God for using technology to demonstrate your blessings!

 

Prayer concerns:
Poor appetite
Continued pain…need the subcutaneous nodules to heal as they are putting pressure on tendons and nerves. The doctors say it will take weeks or months. A matter of waiting on the Lord.
Medicine approval
Strength to carry out normal routines to God’s honor.

 

Despite the concerns, my list of thanks goes on and on. Sometimes I fall asleep at night naming them one by one. (Other times, it keeps me up for hours.) I wonder, if you were to make a list of everything you’re thankful for, how long do you think it would take to complete it? Would you ever be able to complete it or would each day bring more blessings? Ask God to remind you of your many blessings and the many times he has intervened in your life.

 

“I will give thanks to you Lord with all of my heart.
I will tell of your wonderful deeds.” – Psalm 9:1-2

 

Do you believe God works good in ALL things?

Leave a reply

 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

 

We read it and quote it. But do we believe it? Really? What about when God answers your prayer with a no instead of a yes? When you find yourself absorbed by worry, taken prisoner by insecurity and fear? When you feel like you’re stuck and there’s no way out? What about when it feels like someone tossed a grenade in your dream box?

Here’s the truth I’m learning:
ALL things includes great times of joy AND dark times of sorrow and despair. When God says ALL, he means ALL, every bit of it, to the last drop of his Son’s blood that paid for it ALL.

 

Finally, my thick skull is understanding that if I’m going to follow Jesus I have to act as if I really believe his Word. I have to willfully trade fear for assurance, reluctance for obedience, anxiety for peace, my will for his, comfort and ease for whatever his plan is for my journey. Yes, the reality of pain and disappointment demand our attention. But you and I have a choice to surrender these to God’s promises and not let our emotions lead us.

 

So even though we received news that the cancer may still remain and even though a serious mold infection causes great pain, and even though God again takes our Bolivia move off the table (for now or forever) we’re going to be okay with that.

 

Here’s why:
God could answer my prayers just as I ask; but typically he has something better in mind. If I’m going to get upset when my prayers are answered differently than I wanted then I’ll have to take out my scissors and remove Romans 8:28 from the bible. I’ll have to remove Philippians 4:19 that says he meets all my needs. I’ll have to remove everything that speaks to his great promises. I’ll need to take the scissors to most all the Old Testament that speaks to his enduring faithfulness. If I think my life is supposed to be one of leisure and comfort, I’ll need to remove most the New Testament that speaks to suffering with Christ. All I’ll be left with is “God is love” and a handful of other comfortable verses.

 

BUT if I really believe God’s way is best and I really do want to follow him, then I just have to believe he really will work ALL things for good in ALL situations, for ALL those who love him and follow him…even those situations that challenge us most. Trust needs to be backed up by the bravery of action.

 

Maybe the bravest Christian in recent history was the SECOND Oregon student who said, “Yes, I’m Christian” after watching the first one be shot in the head. A few weeks ago CMA Pastor Edward Awabdeh was martyred for his faith by ISIS. He intentionally took the risk by staying in his village to care for and encourage the people in his village. He is now in heaven but only after living out the practicality of Romans 8:28.

 

Charles Spurgeon wrote, “God knows that soldiers can only be made in times of battle and are not developed in times of peace. So dear Christian, could this account for your situation? Is he developing in you the qualities of a soldier by shoving you into the heat of the battle? Do you understand that God may take away your comforts and privileges in order to make you a stronger Christian?

 

We’re trusting God that this continued battle with Leukemia and blood infections is covered under “all things.” What are you struggling with that needs to be surrendered to the God who works good in all things for those who love him? Decide today to trade your struggles for belief that lives out God’s promises.

 

Medical update – Nov 17

Leave a reply

 

From day 53 at Mercy Hospital.

 

Apparently, I wrote a draft that was never published to everyone. So, here is an update for those who have been asking for one. Our last post spoke of the disappointment that the two rounds of chemo did not rid my body of all the aggressive cancer. It wasn’t a conclusive report and a future report in the coming weeks may shed more light on that situation. Lesson learned: disappointment can turn to something positive when we focus on how it reveals His (God’s) appointment) in our lives.

 

What has happened in the last few weeks is that a tenacious fungal infection in my blood has caused 100s of painful sores across my arms, face, and legs. The infectious disease doctors have started a new anti fungal treatment plan that seems to be turning the tide in this battle. After being bed ridden for a couple of weeks, I am now starting to walk 20-30 feet with help of an aide and a walker. We are hopeful continued treatment of the two infections will reduce the pain and improve daily functioning.  Daily neupogen shots stimulated the production of white blood cells which are needed to fight the infections. Hopefully, they didn’t stimulate the production of unhealthy cells.

 

The present challenge is tackling pain management with a stricter medication schedule. I tried morphine and dilaudid but found hallucinations unbearable. Whenever I closed my eyes I saw a different reality. I had to blink to see what was really real around me. Maybe that’s is a lesson for many of us, to make sure we are focused on God’s reality in our lives. “Do not be deceived. ” 1 Corinthians 15:33

 

For discharge I need to get stronger, be free of blood infusions, and healed of the two blood infections. Next step will be a visit to Iowa City to see if I am eligible for a second transplant.

 

We are humbled and appreciative of those who have volunteered to do yard work, who have helped with gas cards, and who pray regularly for us. We trust God’s purpose in all this and look forward to seeing more of His goodness.

 

Disappointment or His appointment?

Leave a reply

 

Disappointment? Or HIS appointment?

 

Today we learned that the second round of chemo did NOT get rid of the cancer blasts. I came in with 80+% blasts, got down to 7.8% blasts after round one, but still have 5% after round two.

 

It is a certain disappointment as we were sure we would get it all with this treatment. But as with all Disappointments, you change one letter and look at His appointments: the appointment that our sovereign and loving God has for us. If we aren’t to believe this we would have to take scissors to our bible and cut out all the promises of God that sometimes “seem” empty if we only look at the present circumstance.

 

God’s banner over us has been one of mercy and love throughout this difficult journey that has softened us, and made us more moldable to his will. It has brought my dear bride and I ever so much closer and given us such a greater appreciation of the attributes God has given each of us. I would never ever want to go through this without her. She has been my main medicine and a tremendous source of peace to me. She is strong but needs your prayers for this is a tough battle for her too.

 

What’s next: (as far we know)
My doctor is closely coordinating with my transplant doctor in Iowa City. I have been preapproved for a stem cell transplant evaluation and also the transplant itself. That is a huge relief because both would be unbearable if it were out of network. ($1/4 million) I have a wonderful dedicated Humana insurance nurse, Reagan, who is a believer and helps me negotiate all my insurance needs, and with prayer. (Thank you, dear God.)

 

I may or may not need more chemo which is a prayer concern because the cumulative effect of all this chemo on my body is very hard. To facilitate a quicker trip to the U of I, I might be released from Mercy before my immune system recovers. I will need to learn to give myself IV antibiotics at home for a number of weeks to make sure we triumph over this rare and dangerous blood infection. It’s possible I might return to Mercy for more treatment between my U of I consultation and the actual transplant.

 

Specific prayer concerns:
That the tremendous loss of liquid in my stools (5-6 liters per day) would stop, especially the loss of blood.
That the antibiotics succeed in vanquishing the blood infection because I have zero immune system.
That I continue to gain strength and fighter cells. I have none currently. I am so very weak and sick. For healing as we long to see more of the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. But we trust God for whatever he chooses.
That Marcia and I bring honor to God in this fight.
That Marcia will find continued peace and restorative strength throughout the ordeal.

 

Thank you for the much needed prayers. They release God’s power to cover our disappointment and look toward His appointment for our lives.

 

No more bad hair days

Leave a reply

 

No more bad hair days!

No more bad hair days!

One side effect of chemo is that it takes care of the bad hair and bed head days! Even in the toughest of battles we try to find something to enjoy, some cause to laugh together, and many things for which to give thanks. Whether it’s cancer or some other serious malady:

 

You can’t focus on what you’ve lost.
You have to focus on what goodness remains.

 

There’s no sense playing the “what if” game. There’s only, “what now?” Having had strong veins all my life, I learned today that the chemo has likely permanently scarred my veins, leaving them much weaker than before, with similar affect on all the major organs. (We’ve yet to see what God says about this!) But what remains is life and love and improving health. Faith remains too and the strong desire to press forward in the fight of fights. Some think it is my constitution, my strong New England independent spirit that says never give up. Perhaps so, but it is so much more.

 

Trials visit everyone. Likely you’ve had your share of yours. Maybe you’ve felt  like throwing in the towel at times. But you don’t because there is always hope. Christian or not, we all cling to hope. As Christians we have this certain hope we should cling to…a hope that is firmly anchored in heaven and keeps us from drifting too far from our bearings on earth. It is the real hope that is certain of things that we might otherwise not see clearly in our miserable circumstances. Dear friend, do you know that hope that frees you from being a slave to your circumstantial pain and sorrow? God offers it as a free gift from his Son Jesus.

 

Sometimes, even Christians do not cling to the hope that is theirs. Preferring to keep clinging to fear, anxiety, despair, bitterness, and anger keeps them from embracing the freedom that living with real hope offers. It’s a daily battle and a daily choice: do I want despair or hope?

 

In my own battle, the coming weeks will continue to be tough ones though for now, I’m past the most threatening part. The attack continues on my GI tract, depleting necessary vitamins and minerals that have to be replenished in massive IV doses, and requiring my continued stay at the hospital for a number of weeks more.
We believe God for a future of healing. We don’t believe him to take us this far only to abandon us. He never will. So we continue to persevere and endure in his strength and with your prayers. It’s just something we have to get through, trying to grasp every lesson we can learn along the way. We are joyed to have you join us in the journey. May you be blessed also.

 

The battle within

Leave a reply

 

Someone wisely advised: “Be kind. Everyone is facing a tough battle.”

 

My doctor explained “what a colossal war is going on inside” my body: the battle of the body against the cancer and now the effects of chemo against the cancer AND against my body. He says the body is expending an enormous amount of energy at a cellular level, beyond what the anemia accounts for, in what is for the moment, a losing battle for the body. It will not have victory until it first falls. But THEN the victory will come!

 

It reminds me of the other battles we all face daily, sometimes unaware of the nature of our fight.

 

I suppose none of us seeks out the suffering that comes to our door. And when it does come, we are so eager to wish it away. But whether troubles are caused by a medical cancer or the “cancer” of broken relationships, physical pain, intense grief, or destructive attitudes, there are valuable life lessons to be found in suffering – if we listen.

 

God’s Word describes suffering as a refiner’s fire that has to get hot enough for the impurities to flow to the top, leaving only the highest quality purity remaining in your life. Suffering does that by stripping away false pretense in our lives so we can focus on what matters. CS Lewis says our pain demands attention. It draws us away from a wasted idle life of ease and comfort. We know God shows us compassion in our suffering so we can share with others in the lives of others in our path.  Sometimes suffering puts us in situations that actually advance the gospel.

 

But one of the supreme benefits of suffering – if we embrace it – is to draw us closer to God and develop qualities we could never learn or apply without such a hard teacher. Charles Spurgeon compares this to the soldier in the battlefield:

 

“God knows that soldiers can only be made in times of battle and are not developed in times of peace. We may be able to grow the raw materials of which soldiers are made, but turning them into true warriors requires the education brought about by the smell of gun powder and by fighting in the midst of flying bullets and exploding bombs, not by living in pleasant and peaceful times. So dear Christian, could this account for your situation? Is the Lord uncovering your gifts and causing them to grow? Is he developing in you the qualities of a soldier by shoving you into the heat of the battle? Should you not then use every gift and weapon he has given you to be a conqueror? Do you understand that God may take away your comforts and privileges in order to make you a stronger Christian? Do you see why The Lord always trains his soldiers, not by allowing them to lie on beds of ease but by calling them to difficult marches and service?”

 

My sister shared this quote. You know the truth, but I really appreciate the simple statement:

Trials don’t make us or break us.
They simply reveal what’s in our heart.

 

“Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, and renew a right spirit in me!”
Psalm 51:10

 

Whatever battle you are facing, know that you are not alone. Our good God desires you to prosper from it, not succumb to its pressure. Good and faithful friend, ask God to reveal what’s in your heart as you face your battle so you can use this time to draw closer to him and find his rest, his peace, and his strength to be “more than a conqueror” even in the middle of your storm.

 

Special mid chemo Good News update

Leave a reply

 

Good report on the morning of Day Four. My peripheral blood shows NO sign of cancerous blasts (down from 31%) and other numbers are holding steady. The bone marrow “factory” is of course a darker picture but is presumably also improving. Appetite continues with no nausea yet. And the two units of blood I received two days ago are a good pick me up. (Thank you to everyone who donates blood. It really makes a difference!)

 

Experience tells me the real battle is in the coming days. But surely God’s grace and mercy are flowing through my veins along with the chemo! The hope is for complete remission again in a few weeks. My teams at Mercy and the U of Iowa are recommending a second “mini” stem cell transplant that may offer some chance of an actual “cure.” That will take some time to coordinate a good match.

 

Soaking up the "Son" rays at Mercy Medical Center.

Soaking up the “Son” rays at Mercy Medical Center.

God is always good in times of trouble but also when his goodness is known in the land of the living! -Psalm 27:13 Thanks everyone for your prayerful support of Marcia and me as we continue this unexpected journey to God’s honor and glory.

 

Am I denying God or affirming I know his love?

Leave a reply

 

If you were sending a letter of instruction to someone setting out into the world, what would you write? Maybe you would reflect on some of the life lessons you’ve learned along the way. So would I. Maybe we’d give words of encouragement and words of warning that we’ve learned. That’s what God did in writing his love letter, the bible, to you and me. And that’s what Paul did in his mentoring letter to Titus. He talks about many things, including to remember:

 

  • Our life role is to be servants who are truthful in all our ways.
  • Our main job, before ministering to others, is to make sure WE are holding onto OUR own faith firmly, SO THAT we can encourage others with that same truthful faith and also defend it against those who try to persuade us with false teaching.
  • He warns Titis (and us) to not get tripped up with meaningless talk. In the hospital, I’ve found where people are in extreme painful situations, either as a patient or family member, or more often as a staff constantly dealing with people in pain and sorrow, there are often open opportunities for simple conversations to become doorways for gospel conversations. Once, I approached a stranger waiting by the elevator, and asked “How is your day going?” One simple question led to a discussion of his wife’s cancer, his Muslim faith, and a time of prayer with him, to then his inviting me to come to his house to share with him and his wife. There are many opportunities for God encounters if we simply put an end to meaningless talk and exchange them for opportunities to build relationship bridges with people that lead to meaningful gospel conversations and prayer.
  • Paul gives a warning to Titus – and us – about people who “claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.” Oh my prayer, is that this not be a warning about me. I can look back in life and sometimes even now, and see times when I claim to know God but my own actions don’t reflect it. In fact maybe they actually deny God when I choose meaningless chit chat over meaningful time with others, my own comfort and interests instead of reaching out with practical expressions of God’s love. Recently a friend offered to do yard work for us while I am in the hospital. Another is going to change a car battery for Marcia. Their simple acts of compassion affirm they do know God who wants to encourage us through the simple yet generous actions of his servants.

 

The bad news is we have so many opportunities to become distracted by meaningless activities, that in the end amount to nothing and waste our lives, while others go about their lives without God or discouraged in their walk with God. In our self-absorbed loves we become unfit for any good work.

 

BUT THE GOOD NEWS is that we have so very many opportunities to let God’s Spirit help us see every day practical ways of expressing his love and thereby affirming that we really love God and are coming to know him more and more.

 

How do you want to live your life?