Tag Archives: relationships

Reflecting On The Gift Of Life

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One of the Leukemia patients on the unit is dying tonight.

Appointments are God ordained. As we talked ever so briefly with a family member, we find that the end has come quickly. Severe infection set in suddenly before a bone marrow transplant could be performed.

Sometimes a hug speaks what words cannot.

The staff carry on, but it is obvious this is not just their job. They become involved and attached as they walk a difficult path along side patients and their loved ones.

We pause for reflection on the gift of life and the relationships that make it worthwhile.

Meet Thuong

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Like many of the relationships God is building here at the hospital, we met Thoung on one of our daily walks. With her permission, let us tell you about this remarkable young lady. (I say young lady because she reminds us she could be our daughter! 🙂

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Here, Thuong is pictured with her new friend, Marcia. Here at the hospital, it seems I live in an, “Everyone Loves Marcia” world… Sometime I am sort of the “side kick with cancer.” Which is quite understandable because she is after all, so utterly amazing. 🙂

Our relationship with Thuong began with smiles in the hallway and thanking her for the important job she has delivering supplies to all the rooms. This simple gesture has resulted in numerous visits with Thuong. Through these we learned how she escaped communist Vietnam as a teenager, how she met her husband in a refugee camp in the Philippines, how she has grown into adulthood in the United States. We have learned about her family and she about ours. As we begin to share our faith, she kindly tells us that she is Buddhist. And so on this basis, we begin our friendship.

Thuong has actually been ministering to us this past week, bringing us two delicious home-cooked Vietnamese meals to our room. (I have been so touched and humbled by hospitality of others. It spurs me on to be more intently sensitive to others.) When she came back to our room today after her shift ended, we learned more about this incredibly brave woman who speaks of leaving destructive country specific customs and forging NEW relationship patterns. (It is interesting to hear this gentle Buddhist lady speaking of such basic Christian truth, that we are not bound to our past, that new beginnings, in Christ, are available to us now.) We talked about God’s plan for the sanctity of marriage, calling on the Ephesians 5 passage about the Love and Respect husband and wife need to demonstrate to each other.

Without this “extra month” in the hospital we may have not had the opportunity to discover this chapter in our relationship with Thuong. We are very happy to get to know this remarkably kind, generous, brave, and compassionate woman, and look forward to many more visits. I wish the picture conveyed the brilliance of her warm smile.

Postscript: I am old enough to have lived through a number of Evangelistic campaigns and methods. Sadly, many of these seemed to be more concerned with befriending people with the primary purpose to convert them, but not to really love them. If you are a nonChristian reading this, I am guessing you may know what I mean. Yes, believing Christians are motivated by the great commission call to make disciples, baptize, and teach everything Jesus has taught us…and to do so with urgency, because we are not guaranteed another day on this earth. We believe that the choices and relationships we make effect eternity. But. . .

. . . over the years, it has seemed to me that we should let the love us Jesus shine in and through our lives, and let HIM touch others through us. Some relationships will last for a season or for a lifetime. Others will last for all eternity. It is Jesus who changes others, not us. We simply are called to love Him and love others in His name.

I’ll close with a quote from an Anglican bishop who decades ago wrote a personal letter to me advising:

“Let us remember to hold hands
as we climb the mountain of God together.”

Live life!

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There are some words you never tire of hearing:
“I love you. I forgive you. Be my friend.”

There are others that are less inviting to hear:
“You have Leukemia.”
And after 27 days of treatment… “You STILL have Leukemia.”

We learned yesterday that there were more “blasts,” though only 10% compared to my original 96%. And so in the last 24 hours we have been contemplating two possible scenarios: 1) all is well (blasts might be normal); go home today or 2) the Leukemia is more resistive than anticipated and we basically start over with another 7 day round of chemo and another month hospital stay. It has been a day and night of pursuing faith in the midst of honest questions and human emotions.

Today’s news: The Leukemia remains.

But before anyone responds with, “How terrible,” we were instantly reminded that another month stay here means more opportunity to grow relationships here at the hospital, and that wherever God places you is a good place to be. My devotion for today is from Colossians 1:10-13 (summarized):
Live a live worthy of the Lord.
Bear fruit. Grow. Be strengthened. Have great endurance and patience.
Joyfully give thanks.

With the opportunity to continue to grow relationships here, I was not surprised to wake up this morning with this song on my mind, Mighty To Save…Let the words speak deeply to you today as they do to me:
V1
Everyone needs compassion, love that’s never failing, let mercy fall on me.
Everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a Savior, the Hope of nations.
CHORUS:
Savior, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save.
Forever, author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave.
V2
So take me as you find me, All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.
I give my life to follow, Everything I believe in,
So I surrender.
(Repeat chorus)
Chorus 2:
SHINE YOUR LIGHT and let the whole world see,
We’re singing to the glory of the risen King!
(Repeat chorus 1)

Meet Estela

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With her permission , let us tell you of a relationship God is growing with Estela. image

As with most other relationships here, everything begins simply with a smile or “Hi, how is your shift going?” All the staff are busy so relationships have to be built slowly over time. Estela is a housekeeper on the other unit where we walk each day. On learning that she speaks Spanish we asked her if we could practice our Spanish in brief conversations on our walks. She agreed and we shared about our families and learned she is from El Salvador. After exchanging email and mail addresses, Estela emailed us a Youtube link to one of her favorite alabanzas (worship songs). The next day she came to the room just to chat with Marcia and me. Through Estela, we have met Adriana who also speaks Spanish and both are interested in improving their English.  God is writing more to this story that is too tender to put in a public blog. But suffice it say that what the apostle Paul wrote about his experience is true for us today: “What has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.”

For the time being, we are in the right place.

Update: Still weak today but my counts continue to rise, some quicker than others. We expect the results From today’s bone marrow test will tell us whether the new cell growth is all good…more news to follow.

Meet Nada

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We continue the waiting game for my body to start producing good blood. I am getting cold symptoms despite all the meds I am taking. I DID get unhooked from my IV pole today and now only need it twice daily for IV antibiotics! Whenever I am free from this dancing partner I hear this voice inside that says, “Run Forrest, run!”

One of the main events of my days in the hospital is visiting with the many staff. Sometimes the interactions are brief and others have already developed into friendships. Today’s story is about Nada, who gave me permission to write about her in this blog. image

Nada takes care of the housekeeping needs in my room. On day one I noticed two things about Nada: she has a beautiful big smile and she is a hard worker. I think it was on day three that Marcia and I learned her name, which she tells us means “hope” in her native Croatian. Day by day we build a little more relationship with this dear lady. We learned the story of how she came to the USA via Serbia during the wars in her homeland and how her father is still MIA. She enjoyed seeing a satellite picture on my iPad of Gospić, a town near where she grew up.

She admired the photos of our children and grand children and said how she misses her sisters who are still in her homeland and the mountains and sea. When we asked if she had pictures she ran to get her purse to show us beautiful photos of her family. At Christmas time we asked about her holiday traditions and learned she is Greek Orthodox. Nada speaks pretty good basic English but is self conscious about talking. We struggled over a Croatian word she used until Marcia looked it up using an online Croatian-English dictionary. It means “straw.” They put straw under the table at Christmas and hide candies and other goodies in it for the children. We looked online to find a Croatian-English workbook to help her with her English (Englez) but struck out. (Any ideas out there?)

We have exchanged addresses and phone numbers so we can get together after I am released from the hospital. Yesterday, while walking the halls and talking with Marcia on the cellphone, I saw Nada and asked Marcia if she wanted to talk with her. I handed the phone to Nada who asked Marcia if she is coming today. Learning that she isn’t coming, Nada tells Marcia, “I see you Friday; I miss you, Marcia.”

From little conversation to “I miss you” in three weeks. Isn’t it interesting the way God weaves the fabric of our lives together, sometimes for a season, and sometimes for all eternity.