Tag Archives: remain in the vine

Dealing with frustration

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It frustrates me to admit this but I sometimes still get frustrated, especially when I have to wait. How about you? The tell-tale sign is getting frustrated over small stuff that doesn’t really matter. But the big stuff especially causes us angst too, doesn’t it? Maybe it is an answer to prayer for a quicker recovery, a process to go more smoothly, a problem to be solved, or a conflict to be resolved. It is a challenge to be patient when it seems it has taken ‘long enough,’ isn’t it?

I tend to view infections and extreme weak days as setbacks and reminders of my vulnerability. I tell myself three infections in the last five months is worse than zero in the first 8 months. Wrong thinking, I know. The fact that feelings of frustration arise is not the problem; it is of course what we CHOOSE TO DO with them.

You have your own list of frustrating moments, right? The thing is, you can probably tell me the answer to dealing with my frustrations as I can with yours. I have to remind myself (or Marcia does) “This is how this day goes. What should I be thankful for? God is still with me.” I may be surprised by the circumstance but He isn’t. Nothing can separate us from His love, not even this time of waiting. I just need to remain in the vine. (John 15) Apart from God, I can do nothing. With Him, all things are possible.

As I write this (primarily to myself) I find myself again surprised by how simple it is…and how complicated I can make it when putting it into practice. 🙂 I hope your day is filled with the grace of staying connected to God who calls you by name, who knows your situation. Rest in Him and watch the frustrations dissipate.

I Went Against My Religion

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Confession is good for the soul. I have resisted this particular temptation for 15-20 years or more. I’ve especially fought hard against it during my three rounds of chemotherapy. I’ve recalled the true promise in 1 Corinthinans 10:13 which says: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

I’ve recited to myself over and over how God designed the body to behave in only a certain way, and violation of this is sure to bring discomfort and pain. But in a moment of weakness. . .

I threw up.

When nurses ask, “Have you thrown up today?” I respond, “No, it’s against my ‘religion.'” When they inquire further I tell them, “God designed the body for food to go in one end and out the other. I just want to honor Him.” This usually results in a chuckle or two. Of course, those who know me realize the funny thing is, I don’t believe much in ‘religion.’

According to wipipedia, “Religion is an organized collection of belief systems, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to spirituality and, sometimes, to moral values.” As a follower of Christ, I believe in the one true loving God who invites us to a personal relationship with Him. When I remain in this relationship, God lets me see the world through His eyes. The fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control) are available to those who remain in Him. As is strength to see suffering as ‘light and momentary,’ perseverence in the midst of struggles, and hope in seemingly hopeless situations.

Remaining in Christ is a decision we make hundreds of times a day. It is decided by what we choose to think about, what we do, how we respond to others, how we view the world around us. I think about the grapes that grow in my backyard. They don’t work and they don’t (as far as I know) develop “an organized collection of belief systems.” They just remain in the vine… and produce good fruit. My experience is that when it comes to the hopelessness of trying to keep a long list of do’s and don’ts, ‘purging’ can be a good thing.

And on an upbeat note, my blood counts are starting to increase and I am generally feeling better than yesterday. My goal is to get off the pain meds and to prove I can swallow real food on Thursday.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5