Monthly Archives: November 2013

Solving for ‘X’

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Do you remember high school algebra where you learned to solve for ‘x’? You equalize the equation on both sides until all you have left on one side is ‘x’, and the solution on the other. Simple enough for algebraic equations. But how do you solve for ‘x’ in real life problems? In a 2011 op-ed, Herman Cain, former CEO Godfather’s Pizza and then presidential candidate summed up his approach:

“Work on the right problems. Ask the right questions. Remove barriers to success. Surround yourself with the right people.”

Can you think of problems you have tried to solve that became more complicated because there were so many distracting issues, it was difficult to focus on the most important ‘right’ problem? We may think the problem is defending our being ‘right’ whereas the problem really is maintaining communication that builds a positive relationship. We think the problem is one of control, whereas it really is one of building ownership. We think the problem is others’ defiance where it really is innovation trying to be expressed. Focusing on the right problem allows you to focus your resources on finding the solution that will bring about the best results.

How wise do you think it would be for a person to consistently try to solve problems on their own without understanding and answering the right questions? I can’t tell you how many times I have responded with an answer I was sure was right, only to discover later I hadn’t asked the right questions. Asking right questions builds understanding and wisdom.

Removing the barriers to success sounds simplistic and conceptually it is. Even though actually accomplishing this goal is often a complicated process, we can’t neglect the wisdom of asking “what is in the way?” Once identified, potential solutions to removing the barrier can be proposed. For example, we might both agree that the hesitancy of one person to express their views holds the communication process hostage. Another barrier might be that the other person dominates the conversation leaving little opportunity for other views to expressed. Whether in a marriage, work setting, committee meeting or board room, identifying the barriers that need to be removed is critical to achieving success.

Finally, surrounding yourself with the right people is crucial to achieving success. I like to surround myself with people who sometimes think differently from me. They challenge me to examine problems from all sides, to see life from different perspectives. Whether or not I concur is not as important as the perspective I gain from understanding alternate views. I learned long ago that I should pray that my children would be surrounded by godly friends. We would do well to pray similarly that our leaders (love them or hate them) would surround themselves with godly counsel.

It’s a good thing God doesn’t leave us alone to face our problems. He’s interested in visiting with you today about the problems you face and helping you ‘solve for X.’.

Right Thinking

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When I worked as a prison guard at the Men’s Reformatory, I came across a number of inmates who said they didn’t belong there. “You mean you didn’t commit the crime for which you were convicted?” I asked. “Oh yes,” they replied. “I committed the crime but I didn’t get a fair trial.” In other words, to their way of thinking, they were indeed guilty as charged but they felt their behavior should have been excused due to some technicality. Years later, when Marcia and I volunteered to mentor guys at another prison, we encountered a more honest reflection on the matter: “I committed a crime because I justified it in my own eyes. I had chosen to believe a lie and my actions reflected this. I was wrong.”

No doubt, you have experienced this too, as have I. We know what is right but we justify a way of thinking and believing that is wrong. You don’t have to go to prison to understand this:

Wrong believing leads to wrong thinking. Wrong thinking leads to wrong and hurtful behavior.
Right believing leads to right thinking. Right thinking leads to right behavior.

You can identify with that, right? For example, I know I am well blessed but am hesitant of sharing my blessings with those in need. I know an encouraging word would be helpful, but sarcastic words come so much easier. I know investing my life into others is most beneficial, but I feel so awkward and just want to have some time by myself.

Hopefully, the struggle becomes less as we mature, but the apostle Paul concludes that the victory is beyond our own ability to achieve; only Jesus can deliver us from this ongoing battle. What does that mean in practical terms?
1. Begin each day by acknowledging the battle you face and asking God’s Spirit to guide you through it.
2. Be intentional in seeking God’s wisdom and strength throughout the day.
3. Be persistent in believing He cares for you. Thank him for each victory over your thoughts and actions, however small, and rejoice in his goodness.

Before you go on to the next task of your day, answer this question: “What wrong thinking colors my world?” Believe – Think – Act on what you know is right. If you fail, ask forgiveness and begin again. Make it a habit that is worth pursuing. God isn’t keeping score and he delights in each time you come to him. Isn’t it time to experience more victory in your life?

“For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Romans 7:18b-19, 24-25

A lamp to your feet and light to your path

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I’ve been meditating on Ps 119:105. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” It seems that sometimes God only gives us a lamp for the step we are currently on right now. He wants our footing to be secure so we can stand firm (Eph 6:10) and not stumble. Sometimes our current standing seems more like sitting on a bench. What he has spoken to us in this ‘bench’ season is that we should sit on the bench in obedience and not strive to get back in the game until he calls us. But it is more than that. Because, at least in our case, we are confident that God is actively at work preparing our next steps, he also desires to use this time to prepare our hearts as he draws us closer to him. Like the 14 years between David’s anointing and his crowning and the same period of time between Paul’s conversion and his first missionary journey, it is not a time of twiddling thumbs, but of actively seeking God, enjoying him fully, growing in him, and serving him where we are.

Do you trust that God will also reveal his light upon your path, that you may more clearly see not just your current step but also the near path before you? Be faithful in listening for his voice so, like Samuel, you can quickly respond, “Here I am Lord. Speak for your servant is listening.”

Find blessings as you continue to draw near to such a loving God whose mercies never fail, whose compassions are new every morning. Draw close so he can guide and direct you.

More blessed now than before

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Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name. Psalm 103:1

Eleven months after being diagnosed with Leukemia, I find that I am more blessed, even still with a life-threatening disease than perhaps when I was healthier. “How can that be?” you ask.

Have you ever noticed that when the sun comes out on a cloudy day you can see more clearly than before? Have you caught yourself realizing the rare value of loving and being loved unconditionally? Even where bubbly joy may escape you, have you found instead a lasting and contented joy that circumstances can’t shake? If in the presence of adversity you dig deeper to find a heart that has been conditioned to give thanks in all situations, then you have found a treasure. There is always reason to give thanks for the one who trusts our merciful and faithful God. A thankful heart, an attitude of gratitude, is one of the keys to enduring and thriving in the midst of struggles! Along the difficult journey, sometimes surrounded by despair and worry, a thankful heart discovers unspeakable hope and a ‘fully persuaded’ faith that is a firm and secure anchor for your soul. In fact, it is not a new discovery but one which has sustained you all along your path. Only now, it lifts you to greater heights. Its light shines brighter to reveal that your path of trial does not go on forever. If you find these things, you have found immense treasure.

All good news and no bad? Are there no struggles and heartaches? Ones that sometimes wear you down? Oh for sure there are; and certainly more to come. But where there are those, there are blessings all the more. Especially the blessings of faith, hope, and love. These are blessings that are always available to us. In the face of adversity, we always make a choice; perhaps not a conscious one, but a choice none the less: we choose to surrender either to our circumstances and to the impotence of own attempts to overcome them, or to the real power God offers to be victors. Whether your struggles are large or small, whether you have carried them for a short time or much of your life, TODAY is the day you can choose to respond with faith, with hope, with love. Cultivate a thankful heart that learns to rise above the circumstances and rest in the presence of God’s love for you. Be more blessed now than before.

Don’t sweat the small stuff – REALLY!

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In the field of stress management studies, there used to be much emphasis on the large stressors of life: death of a loved one, serious illness, divorce, job loss, a big move. And for sure, these major life events do act as significant stressors in our lives. They place huge demands on us to change our way of thinking, adapting, and responding to our place in the world around us. They test the link between body, mind and spirit. They may cause us to seriously examine our identity and purpose in life.

But there is another category of stressors that may affect us more in the long run: little everyday stressors that build up over time with little or no relief.

You’re late to work and can’t find your keys. You spill coffee on your shirt. You hurriedly change clothes and head to work. The person ahead of you decides it is a beautiful day to drive 5 MPH under the speed limit and you hit every red light. You get to work and three people have a crisis they think needs your immediate attention. Meanwhile, you have your own workload that has piled up. Extra appointments cause you to miss lunch. Well, you get the picture.

What is your typical response to these small irritations? Typically we tense our muscles, utter words of despair or frustration, frown, or take out our frustration on others. Like a contagious disease, our negative response to little stressors have no healthy way of being released and so instead infect the rest of our activities, our thoughts, and our interactions with others. Instead of taking these to God so we can experience his peace and his release from negative stress, we let the small stressors build up. It becomes like a snowball rolling down a hill gathering up everything in its path, getting larger and more destructive the further it rolls.

What healthy alternative do we have? First, we can recognize the destructive force small stressors have on our thoughts, actions, interactions, and bodies. Unresolved stress robs us of seconds off our life. And they steal our joy and make us sick. Second, we can create a space between the stressors and our response. We can choose to take a slow breath, breathing in the peace of God and exhaling with forgiving ourselves for getting so upset at something so trivial. Third, we can give thanks, letting this little interruption remind us how fleeting life is, and how many truly great things there are worthy of our attention, our passion, and our energy. We have only so much energy. Do we really want to waste it on the small stuff?

‘Gotta go now and make sure MY day reflects this truth too!

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another… And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:12,14 ESV

The Four Promises of Forgiveness

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In his book, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Conflict, Ken Sande shares four promises essential to forgiveness:

“I will not dwell on this incident.”
“I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”
“I will not talk to others about this incident.”
“I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”

Making – and keeping – these promises removes the barriers that create and maintain conflict in a relationship. They bring you and the other person closer whereas not forgiving drives you apart. Remembering that these are the same promises God makes when forgiving us should serve as motivation for us to be faithful in keeping these promises with others.

Have you tried to keep these promises and not succeeded? Maybe you are trying to forgive in your own power. The best reconciliation efforts are those surrendered to God. Take your struggles to him and let him guide and equip you to be a peacemaker in your relationships today.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Been on an adventure lately?

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Jules Verne’s 1864 classic novel, Journey to the Center of the Earth, has captured the imaginations of generations of readers and movie viewers. It offers an adventure that attracts people of all ages, cultures, and time periods. I wonder if it is because Verne is such a good story-teller or because we are ‘wired’ to be inspired by and to live great adventures.

Marcia and I have enjoyed some great adventures: living in Australia, climbing a volcano, partnering in short-term missions, forming relationships with amazing people including our four children who have grown to become adult friends, growing our own love for each other over four decades, going ‘home’ to Bolivia, and even this past year’s journey through Leukemia. Adventures draw us out of our comfort zones and fill us with a sense of excitement, exploration, and energy. Sometimes they bring us to face great personal challenges. They certainly lead us to new discoveries we wouldn’t have uncovered on a more settled path.

Did you know you can live a life of adventure without leaving your home town? Of all the exciting adventures, the journey to experiencing God personally and the good plans he has for you must be the most exciting. It is one where we discover who we are and who we were really meant to be. It is where he reveals himself in our innermost being, and where our deepest desires cry out and are satisfied as only he can. It is the adventure of learning that you have real power to live a victorious life, not one of slavery to the demands of circumstances. It is where we discover joy that surpasses understanding.

The adventure of discovering God leads us to uncover the secret of being content. It is where enduring faith grows. The journey with God reveals our true heart. It begins when we draw close to God and he draws close to us. It is where we learn to hear – and follow – his voice. It is where we learn to find – and share – unexpected blessings every day when our lives intersect with others. It is the adventure that brings us to the reward at the end of this life, “Well done, good and FAITHFUL servant.”

Are you living the adventure God calls you to live? Or have you settled for whatever comes your way? The great thing about adventures is there is no time limit for when they can begin. You can “pack your bags” right now and decide to live the adventure to which God calls you. Not sure what that is? Why not spend time talking with him today about this. Read his Word. I’m pretty sure it is going to have something to do with loving (and enjoying) him and loving others in his name.

Your life is meant not just to be inspired by adventure but to BE an adventure with God. Live it well!

A One in a Million Answer for You

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If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. – Jesus, John 15:7

Are you waiting for an answer to prayer? Have you been waiting so long you feel like giving up? Like maybe God isn’t listening or that he has forgotten about you? He IS listening and he hasn’t forgotten. Some answers require the free-will cooperation of others; others require further transformation of our own heart. Other prayer concerns are meant more to draw us closer to God than to achieve another external goal.

Maybe you think your prayer has a “one in a million” shot at being answered. As you wait for your ‘not now’ answer, consider this poem by Eileen Walker, and find hope in abiding in Jesus as you wait for the perfect answer God has for you.

ANSWERS
I don’t know all of the answers
to life’s perplexities.
But I know enough to ask The Lord to come and intervene….

He says, ‘Don’t fear it nor fight it
Neither yield, nor deny it,
find the appropriate response’

When you’re facing the dark shadows,
Turn around and face the sun.
When the mountain stands before you,
And won’t move into the sea,
It doesn’t mean God hasn’t heard you,
It means, change your strategy.

Find His way to rise above it,
Or construct a tunnel through.
God has a million answers,
He’s designed one just for you!

AML daily routine

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This post is for those who follow this blog while traveling your own cancer journey. Each person’s journey is unique but there are commonalities that cross different illnesses.

At 11 months post AML diagnosis and 7 months post stem cell transplant, the daily routine continues to be preoccupied with avoiding infection and staying healthy to what small degree of control there is over that. There is a lot of hand-washing and everything is done mindful of potential infection. Without being germophobic, you are aware that one infection can be a game changer for an immune-suppressed body.

One challenging aspect is maintaining a rigid routine of meals, snacks, medications, exercise, rest, and daily injections. This schedule increasingly governs the activities of the day. (You eat when it is time to eat, not when you are hungry.) Some of this may decrease if the drug-induced diabetes and DVT/blood clot treatment is resolved. Weekly and biweekly medical appointments and lab tests add to this regiment. So in one sense, you find yourself medically retired but with a new full-time ‘job’ caring for yourself.

Perhaps it is a blessing that nothing stays the same. Each pain has its season and then surrenders to something new. Changing medications present both different solutions and side effects. Some affect the body, some affect the mind and emotions. It requires a lot of patience and perseverance from both patient and care giver. Emotions sometimes unexplainably present themselves. Sometimes the day is full of color; and other times more gray, and you find there is only so much control over this. Several months later, you find yourself still beat up by cancer and chemo, and still recovering from the welcomed ‘invasion’ of a new graft immune system. The body is not only under chemical and physical attack but spiritual attack too.

You may also experience an overwhelming sense of vulnerability. This unexpected leukemia-induced blood clot is an example of a small unavoidable event that reminds you of the fragility of life. When I celebrate how well I am doing, my medical team regularly reminds me of this ongoing vulnerability. It poses a challenge for living each day well and fully, with sober thanks for the opportunities each day gives to enjoy the grace God gives us.

The good news in all this is that we are not slaves to our condition. Walking in faith is a matter of willfully choosing to believe that which you know is true, but just cannot see, or experience. Your emotions may be those of unexplainable yet pervasive sadness, or disappointment. But the spiritual reality is that we are not slaves to our emotions. The physical challenges may be extensive, but we are not slaves to our pain. Relationally you may feel alone in the journey, but the reality is that others’ prayers are lifting you up and that God will never leave you.

Experience the spiritual reality that overcomes your physical and mental perception. Let God’s presence guide each step of the journey.